Other than longer human lifespans, what are other reasons why marriage at relatively younger ages has declined? (Roman, 70s)
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Other than the fact that human beings have longer lifespans than they did in the more distant past, does anyone have any thoughts on what are other reasons why marriage at relatively younger ages has historically declined, within recent decades? If my current understanding is correct, as late and as far back as 1960 and into the 1970s, young people in the U.S. could still marry straight of out high school, if they wanted to?
Do you think The Pill and modern birth control methods were the primary factors (again other than increased human longevity), that were the primary historical cause for the huge decline in people marrying younger?
in MHO, not everyone and not all human beings should and not everyone is emotionally designed to have to marry at being 30+ years old, yet many people today have no other real choice because of modern social and financial conventions...modern society has made it largely financially difficult and/or impossible for people who are say 18-22 or so years old to have the viable economic means to support a family. 18-22 y/o's can barely make a living wage, for instance, due to modern societal education expectations, and have hardly the degree of earning power than say a 28-30+ y/o person. But this modern phenomenon wasn't always the case though and to the more extreme degree it is today though, vs. in the more distant past...
More education mainly, and also more options for women. They don't have to shack up early in life to be stable and enjoy their lives.
I knew a couple that married at 22, and she cheated on him with at least two others, all while insisting that she "loves him with all her heart." They had been high school sweethearts, and grew up across the street from each other. She got out of her small rural town for the first time and discovered that there were many more attributes in men she found attractive. Got swept up in the romanticism of the idea of marriage, met a lot of different types of people she hadn't encountered before at university, and couldn't be faithful.
Last edited by Liquid Sword; 07-13-2013 at 04:24 PM..
Reason: spelling
Personally, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that back in the "old days" it wasn't so unusual that couples weren't having sex until they were married (some of them anyway) and he wasn't getting anything until the ring was on the finger. Nowadays, even grade school kids not only know all about it - some of them regularly engage in it, as do middle and high schoolers. You don't have to get married anymore to have all the sex you want. Also, there is more in the world today to engage people in various opportunities that weren't available so much back then - more college opportunities, military opportunities, etc. and people are just finding other things to do besides get married and raise kids. The world has changed and so have people, morals, the amount of "things to get into" has increased with technology and the world has opened up in a way it never did before. IMHO anyway.....
More education mainly, and also more options for women. They don't have to shack up early in life to be stable and enjoy their lives.
Very interesting; many thx for sharing your thoughts and feedback What you say above definitely makes logical sense, certainly. However, I have often wondered if there are possibly still any potential advantages on an emotional or psychological level for young women 18-22 to marrying earlier in life, vs. older...
Quote:
I knew a couple that married at 22, and she cheated on him with at least two others, all while insisting that she "loves him with all her heart." They had been high school sweethearts, and grew up across the street from each other. She got out of her small rural town for the first time and discovered that there were many more attributes in men she found attractive. God swept up in the romanticism of the idea of marriage, met a lot of different types of people she hadn't encountered before at university, and couldn't be faithful.
J/c, do you have any thoughts or ideas as to what specifically caused her core personality and sense of basic self-hood to change so considerably though, vs. before? One of the reasons I ask is out of sheer curiosity, b/c I myself will very soon officially be proposing to an incredibly sweet and caring girl who is currently in college, with the goal of marriage within about the next 2 years, when she will be around say 22-23 years old...
Personally, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that back in the "old days" it wasn't so unusual that couples weren't having sex until they were married (some of them anyway) and he wasn't getting anything until the ring was on the finger. Nowadays, even grade school kids not only know all about it - some of them regularly engage in it, as do middle and high schoolers. You don't have to get married anymore to have all the sex you want. Also, there is more in the world today to engage people in various opportunities that weren't available so much back then - more college opportunities, military opportunities, etc. and people are just finding other things to do besides get married and raise kids. The world has changed and so have people, morals, the amount of "things to get into" has increased with technology and the world has opened up in a way it never did before. IMHO anyway.....
Yep... They'd say the vows so it would be socially acceptable for their hormone-raging bodies to do it. Then when they matured and got past the honeymoon phase, they might realize "I am not as compatible with this person as I thought" or "my husband is abusive."
So which would you rather have? Religion aside, we are biologically and fundamentally horny. Would you rather have a biologically healthy sexual release (normal to all adult creatures), or get legally tied up and in some cases, trapped with someone who doesn't turn out to be all that great in order to copulate?
Very interesting; many thx for sharing your thoughts and feedback What you say above definitely makes logical sense, certainly. However, I have often wondered if there are possibly still any potential advantages on an emotional or psychological level for young women 18-22 to marrying earlier in life, vs. older...
J/c, do you have any thoughts or ideas as to what specifically caused her core personality and sense of basic self-hood to change so considerably though, vs. before? One of the reasons I ask is out of sheer curiosity, b/c I myself will very soon officially be proposing to an incredibly sweet and caring girl who is currently in college, with the goal of marriage within about the next 2 years, when she will be around say 22-23 years old...
She's a psychologist. She was very adept at coming up with explanations/excuses for what she was doing, and justifying it on some "spiritual" level.
I would say don't propose to this girl yet. If you really love each other, you'll still be together when you're in your mid-late twenties, and everything will be cool. You'll also be more financially prepared for married life/starting a family. Right now, you probably don't have enough life experience to really know who you are as an adult yet. I'd wait. This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.
Yep... They'd say the vows so it would be socially acceptable for their hormone-raging bodies to do it. Then when they matured and got past the honeymoon phase, they might realize "I am not as compatible with this person as I thought" or "my husband is abusive."
So which would you rather have? Religion aside, we are biologically and fundamentally horny. Would you rather have a biologically healthy sexual release (normal to all adult creatures), or get legally tied up and in some cases, trapped with someone who doesn't turn out to be all that great in order to copulate?
If you're asking me personally, when I was a much younger woman, I did sow my oats a bit. I had to admit to myself eventually that it wasn't all that exciting - after the deed I was still pretty much alone - and being "horny" is no excuse for being promiscuous. The old double standard was very much alive and well. I wasn't raised to be that way - and I really had a hard time trying to "fit in" with what other people my age were doing - and I did not feel good about myself when I went down that path. With time and maturity I finally found the perfect blend of both - a man who is my partner both sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and he was totally worth the wait. I do not believe you have to compromise - but you do have to be patient and mature to be able to recognize it when you find it.
If you're asking me personally, when I was a much younger woman, I did sow my oats a bit. I had to admit to myself eventually that it wasn't all that exciting - after the deed I was still pretty much alone - and being "horny" is no excuse for being promiscuous. The old double standard was very much alive and well. I wasn't raised to be that way - and I really had a hard time trying to "fit in" with what other people my age were doing - and I did not feel good about myself when I went down that path. With time and maturity I finally found the perfect blend of both - a man who is my partner both sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and he was totally worth the wait. I do not believe you have to compromise - but you do have to be patient and mature to be able to recognize it when you find it.
I am not of the crowd that subscribes to the "sex only after marriage thing" but this does not mean I support being promiscuous. I have only twice had meaningless sex, and it was not fulfilling. I prefer to have an emotional attachment, and genuine care for my partner. My point was only that more often than not, in my opinion, the "sex after marriage" creed often creates more problems than it supposedly solves.
Again, I do not advocate promiscuity. I'm simply stating that it isn't inherently evil or hurtful to engage in sexual activity before one has found their permanent life partner.
I would say don't propose to this girl yet. If you really love each other, you'll still be together when you're in your mid-late twenties, and everything will be cool. You'll also be more financially prepared for married life/starting a family. Right now, you probably don't have enough life experience to really know who you are as an adult yet. I'd wait. This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.
Again, thank you for your very intriguing comments and valuable feedback. In my own personal case, I am in my early-30's, but I have also been 100% celibate, throughout my life so far to date. I currently have a reasonably comfortably-paying and secure career, and am pretty much already professionally established. The girl that I love is in her early-20's; neither of us have had any intimate partners yet, and so we are both 100% virgins. I definitely didn't pursue her romantically just because of her age alone (in fact, she was the one who initially asked me, to be in a romantic relationship with her) -- I just see in her though certain things that I don't see, in many women my own age. Women my own age (definitely not saying all of them are, though) can be rather cold, cruel, and hard-hearted...and I see absolutely none of that, in the girl that I currently love, and who has my heart. She is literally the kindest and most compassionate person, that I have ever known in my whole life...
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