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I would tell a friend if I knew that someone died in the house because I don't think it would be a deal breaker for any of my friends.
Last year, like your father, my husband died peacefully at home in his sleep and I sold the house to move to a different state. The realtor was not required to tell the buyers and they didn't ask. However, I became very friendly with the buyers and I told them. The house was on acreage in a rural area and I had dogs that I could not take with me and since it was the only home my dogs had ever known, the buyers wanted to keep them.
My husband and I built that house and he was very proud of it and never left a single thing go into disrepair and the buyers seem to be honored to take over for him.
When the buyers found out that I was selling the furnishings, they bought them. I don't know whether or not they kept or sleep in the bed since when I have gone back to visit them and the dogs, I didn't of course go into the bedroom.
It may be creepy to some people but I would not hesitate to buy a house that someone died in. Having gone through my own experience, I would probably find it comforting.
I think since it was your Dad's home, and also your friends that you wanting to talk to them about the house was natural, I doubt that sort of coincidence happens often.
It's true. My dad was a realtor for 25 years. If you ask them if someone died and they lie to you and say no, that's a big deal.
In the area where I used to live a beautiful home on several acres sat empty for several years because there was a double murder suicide there, IIRC a man stabbed his wife and wife's boyfriend then killed himself.
All the local people knew the history of the home so we thought an out-of-state buyer would purchase it because it was priced WAY below market value. But we found out that the real estate agent had to disclose the violent history of the house.
My mom died very suddenly. She was standing there in the kitchen talking about dinner, then stopped talking, then just...crumpled. Like all the juice that kept her going just left. It was shocking and horrifying for me and dad, thought after we found what she'd been hiding it wasn't so much a surprise.
I met someone and wanted to move on. Dad just couldn't take that a had this MAN I wanted to be with, so things weren't going to be peaceful. I moved out with him to share with friends. Dad didn't want to go. But I understood. The house still felt like she was there. I don't know if it could be called a 'haunting' but her energies were so strong it felt like she was definately there. I love/loved my mother, but it wasn't comfortable after so long.
When he decided to move, the realestate lady had a big enough problem with Dad getting rid of the stuff neither of us wanted. He brought a truck of Mom's stuff to me we had to store in the closet. Sadly I ended up without most of it but I still appreciate the jesture.
I really doubt that the real estate lady notified anyone that mom had crumpled in the family room. Though if you have a strong enough 'sense' of the paranormal, you'd know.
It turns out we lived right next to the number 2 worse toxic waste dump in the country. The list had been put together but not announced. I'm sure it effected Mom's illness and Dad and mine earlier just out of high school. The city and epa finally did remove it but just buried it in dirt to start with, but it leaked to the surface. I'm also sure that until it became necessary they wouldn't tell a prospective buyer about that. At that point it was supposed to be 'fixed.'
Its too bad that when you look at a house you don't automatically get a history of it... in terms of contamination, be it maybe a former drug house, or something in the area, along with notification if someone died there. For some it would really matter if they were sharing with a spirit.
I have heard a sleazy-sounding commercial on late night radio for a website that will research and tell you if someone died in the house you are thinking about buying. For a fee, of course.
It's a marvel to me that we've become so disconnected from the realities of life and death that this is an issue.
I hope their own loved ones don't go and spoil a good place by dying in it. Heaven forbid it happens near a holiday they enjoy. Someday those people will be faced with their own mortality. Poor dears.
I kind of hope that the gentleman that built my house actually DID die in it. I know exactly when he bought the land; when he took out the loan (and for how much); and when the house was completed. His widow lived on in the house after he passed on. He and she are buried right up the hill from me, as is their only child. I like to think that all their spirits are still hanging around, as it's a very warm and peaceful home. Heck, I hope to die at home as well - maybe we'll all have one big spirit party afterwards.
A house where someone died because of a break-in implies real danger for the new owner, not if someone died of natural causes or suicide.
Think about it like falling asleep in a hospital bed. Dozens of people could have died on that bed because it's, you know, a hospital. Taking a nap in it won't harm you.
I understand the creep-out factor, and wouldn't ask if someone died in the house. Ignorance is bliss.
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