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Sorry I'm not sure if this is the right area to be posting. But I recently relocated from a city to A town about an hour away that feels more like the country. When we were looking to buy a house we were really just thinking about the house itself and good schools. Now that I've lived here for about nine months I feel not happy I miss being near the city and all that it had to offer. I've also found that the schools are not as good as they claim to be. In my town there is no Towncenter there are no public parks really or playgrounds. There are also no restaurants I have to get on the highway to go to a restaurant. I just don't know why I didn't think about this before moving. There have also been some issues with the house that I'm not happy with either. I just feel really regretful about moving here and I know it's a good location for kids but I can't see myself staying here forever. I will be so bored. And I honestly am not really happy with the house we chose either. I would like to move to a town more near the city with lots of public parks and playgrounds and more people and restaurants! But I feel really stuck having just purchased this house last year. I also feel that if we tried to sell we would not make any money or possibly not even get what we paid for it. Anyway I would love some feedback or advice. Have you ever been in this situation? And if so what did you end up doing? Thank you!
Yup, that's a bad situation. We were in the opposite when we moved to a city/urban area from a small town, it was the most miserable living ever and we lost roughly 25% of what we paid when selling the house 2 years later. It was a worthwhile loss given what we wanted to escape. Same story, loved the house (actually, still love that house), but it was the oppressive crush of people, terrible life environments, crime, constant noise, etc... that we wanted to escape.
Anyway, there are probably some things you can do to make the situation better. The first step is to get things down on paper (or typed out on the computer/phone/tablet) and then look at Individual issues. They're much easier to address when you focus on only one instead of what seems like a mountain worth of them. I won't bother with my own opinion on how to address the specific issues you have as we clearly see things from opposite sides (I love rural, trying to get More rural right now), but I'm sure you can find solutions to most everything if you want to think outside the box and try something new.
Thanks for your response Brian_M! I know I am trying to find things to be positive about like how beautiful all the trees are and how many cute animals we have living near us now like the deer, turkeys, and birds. And how also I have no money to spend in a town center or restaurants anyway, lol. I also am on my own most of the time as my husband now has a 1 1/2 hour commute both ways and when I lived in a little town by the city (and on the ocean I might add)! I was always able to go to a park or beach and find people to talk with or for my daughter to play with.. every time we left we had met more people we would see again in the future.. so it was kind of nice. Here my daughter and I don't really meet anyone and also.. no beaches. But, like you, my husband also really likes this area so that is tough as well! I am going to make a list like you suggested.. thanks.
1. Join some organizations. Every place has them. PTA, Young Republicans, Young Communists, etc.
2. Educate yourself about the financial aspects of selling. Know, down the penny, what will happen if you sell and move.
3. Understand why your husband likes the area and why he tolerates commuting for 3 hours a day.
4. Don't whine.
I really don't feel like I was whining! More like expressing unhappiness in a anonymous way since I can't really voice this to my husband/family and asking for advice. This town has no groups.. no real community.. a PTA that's not very active. It's very isolating.. anyway just asking for advice from sympathetic people who have been in this situation or might have some ideas. Not looking for snark or cheap shots at an unhappy mom.. thanks.
Thanks for your response Brian_M! I know I am trying to find things to be positive about like how beautiful all the trees are and how many cute animals we have living near us now like the deer, turkeys, and birds. And how also I have no money to spend in a town center or restaurants anyway, lol. I also am on my own most of the time as my husband now has a 1 1/2 hour commute both ways and when I lived in a little town by the city (and on the ocean I might add)! I was always able to go to a park or beach and find people to talk with or for my daughter to play with.. every time we left we had met more people we would see again in the future.. so it was kind of nice. Here my daughter and I don't really meet anyone and also.. no beaches. But, like you, my husband also really likes this area so that is tough as well! I am going to make a list like you suggested.. thanks.
Your previous location seems ideal. Why did you move?
Are you bored because you are a SAHM? And that is why you have no money to spend? Maybe get part-time work, or take the other poster's suggestions for getting out and about.
Wondering how you failed to notice clearcut conditions such as distance to stores and entertainment, driving requirements, and so forth. That should have been pre-purchase due diligence on your part.
...I recently relocated from a city to A town about an hour away that feels more like the country.
Now that I've lived here for about nine months I feel not happy...
I feel really stuck having just purchased this house last year.
If you poke around you'll see a lot of posts here about NOT buying in a new place.
Rent for the first year and only after you're sure of it all to commit to buying.
Quote:
...or possibly not even get what we paid for it.
Likely to not get what you've paid.
The poorly considered move will prove an expensive lesson.
And here is the reason you don't like the new town. You need to get out and met new folks and make new friendships. That's what makes a town your home. Get involved with something in the area. Animal shelter, church, any organization, bowling league, get out and met people. Do you know your neighbors? If not, have a block party. Are you involved with the daughters school? If not, get involved, you'll met parents that are probably near your age group. Always wear a smile and don't be afraid to say Hello. People have a tendency to gravitate to happy folks. Be happy on outside even if you're dying inside.
........... Now that I've lived here for about nine months .........we would not make any money or possibly not even get what we paid for it............
Not make any money? No kidding. You've only been there for 9 months, so you might be able to sell it for what you paid for it, but you have to pay commissions and closing costs, so you walk away with less than you paid. Most likely be able to cover the mortgage, but lose your down payment money.
I assume that you can't afford to buy in the city, or else you wouldn't have moved so far out to buy a house. So, you want to go back to renting?
If there is nothing to do, find something to do. Invent it. If you are bored, there are other stay at home mothers who are also bored. Start a group that meets for some common activity.
You must have some sort of interests besides eating in restaurants and watching your kids at the park. There are other people in the area that have those same interests. Get together with them.
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But, like you, my husband also really likes this area so that is tough as well! I am going to make a list like you suggested.. thanks.
