Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have no idea what I'm expecting or if this is any real resolve..But taking a shot in the a dark..
My Mom has been in the finance sector her entire life, retired about 6-7 years ago..She was never the Betty Crocker type meaning... growing up my Dad loved to cook & did the majority of the cooking, she never cared about furniture or interior design / knick Knacks.. & while my house was never dirty also wasn't **** and span. To the naked eye looked fine but any closer inspection would reveal some neglect.
At the moment I travel alot for work so have my Mom staying at my apartment as I'm only there maybe 2-3 months throughout the year..
When I come home and point out how much dust/dirt & in some instance straight filth is gathering on the floors or in bathroom .. ( Now it's not alarmingly bad, but also isn't clean. )
I totally understand not wanting to clean, but regardless of what I say or try to do - My Mom gets incredible aggravated & it's almost like she doesn't believe me when I go into what we have to accomplish.
For example... The walls in the kitchen have grease marks , floor boards covered in stuck on dirt, etc.. I said, "we need to clean the walls immediately..." My Mom, responded "How the hell would you even do that ? "
Then when she does agree, she'll find some obscure hyper focused area. (kitchen reference - she started cleaning the inside of the fridge , but left the filthy floor and stove untouched.. )
My Mom and me always get along and I am by no means pushing her to slave away cleaning.. Even offered to pay for a cleaner ( place is pretty small most turn it down unless it's multiple times a week) but Idk how to convey to her the normal routine of cleaning is not a insane concept.
IDK, what I'm looking for but any advice/suggestions would be wonderful.
I don't have any advice for you, sorry. I don't understand how some people are okay living with dirt and dust around them, in the house. Outside is one thing, but I have to have a clean house. It's one of the main reasons I no longer have pets - it's just too much dang work keeping the house clean with them in it.
Maybe you can try just taking a small area to start with. Clean it yourself, with her watching...and then after you are finished, y'all inspect the results together. Surely she'll be able to see and appreciate the improvement. If not, I've got nuthin'.
It's usually a good idea to set ground rules with people who will be using your home up front. If she doesn't like or agree with the rules, she doesn't get to stay there. Kind of too late now unless you're prepared to sit down and discuss what you expect from her from now on. What about a checklist to keep her progressing? If you don't like how she keeps your place hire a maid and ask that she pitch in to pay for it.
Some people just do not see the dirt. (DH, uh hum)
I can kind of understand it. I was just cleaning the RV, opened the fridge and thought "oh not bad at all" but I decided to wipe it down anyway.... once I got up and close, I thought "filthy."
I think there is a difference because she is there all the time, so she gets used to it, you walk in and the dirt is immediately evident (kinda how when you live with someone you don't notice them getting older, but when you see someone after a couple years it can be a shock).
Most people consider me a pretty conscientious housekeeper, but sometimes when I get to scrubbing I realize something is dirtier than I thought.
But yeah, you have to hire a cleaning service to come in whether your Mom wants it or not.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Your mother is old enough to be retired. You're not going to change her way of thinking.
Your best option is to hire someone to come in a few days before your next return and do a deep cleaning or whatever is needed.
In some instances I'm like your mother. I'd much rather spend an hour deep cleaning the fridge than spending the same hour on floors or general cleaning. There is some weird satisfaction for me in doing deep cleaning versus routine things.
I have no idea what I'm expecting or if this is any real resolve..But taking a shot in the a dark..
My Mom has been in the finance sector her entire life, retired about 6-7 years ago..She was never the Betty Crocker type meaning... growing up my Dad loved to cook & did the majority of the cooking, she never cared about furniture or interior design / knick Knacks.. & while my house was never dirty also wasn't **** and span. To the naked eye looked fine but any closer inspection would reveal some neglect.
At the moment I travel alot for work so have my Mom staying at my apartment as I'm only there maybe 2-3 months throughout the year..
When I come home and point out how much dust/dirt & in some instance straight filth is gathering on the floors or in bathroom .. ( Now it's not alarmingly bad, but also isn't clean. )
I totally understand not wanting to clean, but regardless of what I say or try to do - My Mom gets incredible aggravated & it's almost like she doesn't believe me when I go into what we have to accomplish.
For example... The walls in the kitchen have grease marks , floor boards covered in stuck on dirt, etc.. I said, "we need to clean the walls immediately..." My Mom, responded "How the hell would you even do that ? "
Then when she does agree, she'll find some obscure hyper focused area. (kitchen reference - she started cleaning the inside of the fridge , but left the filthy floor and stove untouched.. )
My Mom and me always get along and I am by no means pushing her to slave away cleaning.. Even offered to pay for a cleaner ( place is pretty small most turn it down unless it's multiple times a week) but Idk how to convey to her the normal routine of cleaning is not a insane concept.
IDK, what I'm looking for but any advice/suggestions would be wonderful.
Solution?
At this stage, don't offer - just hire a housecleaner that would come weekly or bimonthly.
If your place is too small for a cleaning company - try to find recommendations on Nextdoor or FB.
I hate to spend money one something useless - get a cleaning service. It is your place and your guest is apparently not particullary neat.
Enjoy the time you can share with her and skip the aggrevation about "round corners" when it comes to clean floors.
I fall into this category. I'm extremely neat and tidy, almost OCD about organization, but dust and dirt don't really bother me. I was raised in a super clean house (yes, my mother even washed the walls) and helped clean the house myself as one of my chores, but I guess got out of the habit when I had two pets, one with health problems, and decided to heck with it, I'll just hire a professional deep clean before selling it. As Quentin Crisp once famously quipped, "After five years, the dust doesn't get any deeper." Some are bothered by such things and others are not. What would drive me crazy is clutter, however clean.
Of course I do the essentials: dishes, laundry, trash, sweeping. But otherwise, no biggie.
The logical solution is to hire someone to come in and clean on whatever schedule you all agree to. Who pays may be something you have to thrash out unless it's worth it to you...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
