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Two of my biggest messes, where I all but called a Realtor and said: Sell it, As is! I can't Deal With This!
Was carrying too many grocery bags from the car to the house. Once inside, a big gallon of Carlo Rossi Burgundy wine went crashing to the floor, splattering wine on the sofa, my tan carpet, the walls, glass shards everywhere! Where do you begin!
Another time. I was deep frying chicken on the stove. Forgot about it.
Oil bubbled over, seeping into every crevice of my stove. Where do you begin!
Let's see who's had some of the bigger messes to clean up!
I will begin, lol,.........Pit/Lab mix decided the leather chair and ottomen was a good chew toy. It was down filled and I walked into a house after a GIANT pillow fight. Down feathers from one end of the house to the other, just a flying!
This happened about a month ago when Houston had its first hard freeze in over a decade. The pipes to my washing machine had frozen and I was trying to unfreeze them. I had opened the hot water valve a crack (or what I thought was a crack) thinking that when it became unfrozen it would trickle into a bucket I had out. Next thing I knew I heard water spewing all over the place and water running under the utility room door. The problem was that the washing machine was in front of the door. I rushed out the back door and through the side door and turned it off as quickly as possible. Then I got every single towel I owned and sopped up the water. The next night I put the line on a trickle so that it would have a pressure release in case it froze again. It didn't.
When my son was in 5th grade or so he learned you can't stop a chemical reaction by putting a lid on it.
He'd learned about the relationship of vinegar and baking soda. Came home from school, dumped a box of baking soda in a 5 quart ice cream pail, poured in a bottle of vinegar, and when it started to go nuts he slapped the lid on the pail and held it down with his foot -- until it exploded! He'd done a pretty good job of cleaning up by the time we got home, except for the white spots of dried baking soda residue all over the place!
The dryer in the basement caught fire. The dryer burned all the clothes and didn't do much damage...except the black smoke. The trouble came when we opened the door to the basement and all the smoke came into the house. We ran out of the house and called the fire department. Dumb me left the door open. They got it out easy with little damage to the basement. The problem was the smoke...black oily smoke...... went all over the entire house. It took 6 weeks to get the house clean. Thanks to insurance we had help to pay for cleaners. We had to send everything to the cleaners. I mean everything. curtains, clothes, bedding. The furniture was taken outside to be cleaned while another crew was in the house washing walls and floors. They also took everything out of the kitchen cabinets to wash. Sometimes we wished the fire had burned up the entire house. it would have been easier. Kidding
Two I can think of:
6 yr old son woke up projectile vomiting. All over walls, carpet, bedding, but the worst part is all the crevices we found it in. It smelled and he had eaten enchiladas so it was bright red and hard to wash out. Smelled too bad for my husband to stomach so I got the privilege at 3am. Had to scrape vomit from inner edge of electrical outlet and outter edge of wall plate and vomit dripped down the mattress into the crevices of the captains bed even down into the drawers of his clothes.
Next, forgot my husband had chicken boiling on the stove and then left for work. I fell asleep. Woke up to a smoke filled house and the awful smell of burnt chicken and stainless steel. Had to take apart stove vent and scrub inside, scrub cabinets inside and out, throw out food. Wash all drapes and other exposed fabric, scrub areas of walls and ceilings, change vent filter. Could've been worse and burnt the house down.
There was the time I stayed up late and came to bed in the dark. Unfortunately, our Labrador Retriever had held a barf-a-thon at the foot of the bed. Even more unfortunately, I learned this by walking in it. And slipping. And falling on my butt in it. To paraphrase the announcer watching the Hindenburg burn: "Oh, the profanity!"
I was dumb enough to put a hot pot on a glass cutting board. Glass exploded all over the kitchen. Fortunately I wasn't standing over the pot at the time.
My last dear rescue doberman had been saved, at the fairly-old age of 7, by a humane society officer and a policeman, from a yard where he had been tied to a stake in the ground and was being used as pit bull bait. (Someone had called 911 to break up the carnage.) He was in such bad shape that he had to be carried to the humane society wagon and his health was touch-and-go for months. After I adopted him, I found that he was the most gentle sweetheart of all my dogs and a true lover of all people and all animals. The one exception was birds...he'd catch them in mid-air and devour them whole.
One morning, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise in the living room. I went to check it out and found my dear dog, a beheaded ROOSTER and a big feathery bloody mess all over the room. The neighbors behind me raise chickens and apparently the rooster got into my yard somehow. My dog had dragged the rooster in through the doggie doors, leaving a mess throughout the garage and kitchen. I was quite late for work that morning.
The NEXT morning, as I was getting dressed for work, I heard another strange noise. I know it couldnt be another dead rooster, so I called my dog to come in to the bedroom. He obediently responded...and quickly jumped on my bed, carrying the bloody remains of a large EGRET. It took me a moment to take in the scene...blood, feathers and goo all over my bed and all over the floors and walls of the bedroom, hallways, living room, kitchen, garage..and especially the doggie doors. I never went to work that day.
That dog was so wonderful and made me laugh so much that I could never be upset with him. But cleaning up the house those two days was he11.
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