Bored to Tears and frustrated in Madison (Huntsville, Decatur: home, live)

[Charles]

Originally Posted by wls2624

We've been here six months and have found it's hard to make friends too. People are friendly but that's about it, doesn't go much further. Our only social life is through church. We just do things as a family. We actually do more as a family now than we did before. It's nice here but lonely. I hope we don't stay long. I'm not into large groups so I don't think I'd be comfortable with meet-up groups and such. So, can't say there's much we can do except suck it up.

Not having family in the region probably makes it that much tougher. In fact, a lot of our friends and neighbors and kids' sports friends have family in town or near by and that sort of makes us miss our family. We go to our kids' sporting events and there are always grandparents there. Sort of enforces the fact that our kids' grandparents aren't there to watch them.

[Mawoods]

It is hard to move to a new area that is far away and no family or not where you grew up. However,, obstacles can be overcome. It just takes effort. There are so many organizations that are looking for volunteers or help. That isn't church and it is an opportunity to meet and embrace like minded people. Also, when we lived in Wisconsin, we had neighbors with 3 great kids. They too were far away from grandparents who couldn't always be there for those special days. They adopted us as stand in grandparents. I went to kids plays, sporting events and those school things for grandparents. I loved it!!! I knew I was not their real grandmother but I tried to do special things for them. It was a great idea and was a blessing to all of us. SO like HBHSV said, if you are willing to make an effort, there are many ways to make friends and be involved in a new area. Just do it!!!!

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Mawoods

It is hard to move to a new area that is far away and no family or not where you grew up. However,, obstacles can be overcome. It just takes effort. There are so many organizations that are looking for volunteers or help. That isn't church and it is an opportunity to meet and embrace like minded people. Also, when we lived in Wisconsin, we had neighbors with 3 great kids. They too were far away from grandparents who couldn't always be there for those special days. They adopted us as stand in grandparents. I went to kids plays, sporting events and those school things for grandparents. I loved it!!! I knew I was not their real grandmother but I tried to do special things for them. It was a great idea and was a blessing to all of us. SO like HBHSV said, if you are willing to make an effort, there are many ways to make friends and be involved in a new area. Just do it!!!!

There is no substitute for family.

[Mawoods]

Very true Charles. But if you meet a neighbor or someone that you really respect, it can work to ease some of the pain of those times your parents can't just fly out. Believe me,I do know where you come from, I left my family in another country at 13 and there is no substitute for your own family. I was just trying to say that some times there are some solutions that can be worked out. But I am really saying that there are many ways to get involved and meet people without setting foot in a church. The posters who are so bored I have a hard time with. The Sunday paper is full of organizations that you can hook up with that are venues to meet people and get invovled.

[AnotherBravesFan]

Originally Posted by wls2624

It's nice here but lonely. I hope we don't stay long. I'm not into large groups so I don't think I'd be comfortable with meet-up groups and such. So, can't say there's much we can do except suck it up.

I'm not comfortable in large groups, either, but I go anyway. I've found that most of the meetups I've attended have no more than 8-10 people, and everyone is friendly because they are looking to meet new people, too. So give it a try!

[Southlander]

Originally Posted by wls2624

It's nice here but lonely. I hope we don't stay long. I'm not into large groups so I don't think I'd be comfortable with meet-up groups and such. So, can't say there's much we can do except suck it up.

Well, it's like anything else. It's what YOU make of it.
If you're determined to be lonely, you will be.
If you've decided you're going to hate the place, you will.
If you've determined that you are NOT going to be lonely, you won't.
If you've decided to like the place, you will.
No matter what....YOU have to get your rear in gear and not sit home sniffling and feeling sorry for yourself.
Tough love speech over....c'mon sweetie, smile and get out there!

[Bette]

As someone who felt left out sometimes even where I grew up (after friends moved away, went to college, etc) I finally "got it" when I started volunteering.

Just find something you love and follow your heart.

For me, I joined Junior League and found all sorts of things to do; also I volunteered within my community, church, schools and last but not least, The Humane Society (where I pet some of the kindest souls).

As a dog lover, I could have taken them all home!

Don't give up and be friendly!!

[E Limestone Dude]

Huntsville is a very boring town. I can sympathize. The others will try to encourage you, but the truth is Huntsville is boring.

[HB2HSV]

Originally Posted by E Limestone Dude

Huntsville is a very boring town. I can sympathize. The others will try to encourage you, but the truth is Huntsville is boring.

No way. Many employees at Home Depot begin to treat me like their best friends.

Seriously, it is what you're willing to reach out. For example, I went to HD this afternoon because they have the Master Gardeners there to answer questions, and they had someone from the County Extension Office there as well. I spent ~ an hour with them talking about trees & soils and had a great time, and I did not spend a dime in the store! I learned a lot and these are truly friendly & great folks who volunteer their time to share their knowledge with strangers. Try to do this in a big city, ha! Forget it.

I know many on this forum are not comfortable about going to church. But the fact is, church is one mechanism to connect with people here and strangers can become friends. It doesn't have to be a religious institution, it can be a tavern, club, or soical/networking group, etc.

In my case, when people in my church found out that my wife is away visiting her family, I've receive 'care packages' (prepared food) and invites to homes for dinner. When one just had a childbirth, the ladies would take turn to cook and bring food over so the young mom can rest and focus on her baby. People only do this because they have gotten to know you and develop a connection/ friendship. It takes time, efforts, investment of energy, and risk of rejections on all parties involved.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by HB2HSV

No way. Many employees at Home Depot begin to treat me like their best friends.

Seriously, it is what you're willing to reach out. For example, I went to HD this afternoon because they have the Master Gardeners there to answer questions, and they had someone from the County Extension Office there as well. I spent ~ an hour with them talking about trees & soils and had a great time, and I did not spend a dime in the store! I learned a lot and these are truly friendly & great folks who volunteer their time to share their knowledge with strangers. Try to do this in a big city, ha! Forget it.

I know many on this forum are not comfortable about going to church. But the fact is, church is one mechanism to connect with people here and strangers can become friends. It doesn't have to be a religious institution, it can be a tavern, club, or soical/networking group, etc.

In my case, when people in my church found out that my wife is away visiting her family, I've receive 'care packages' (prepared food) and invites to homes for dinner. When one just had a childbirth, the ladies would take turn to cook and bring food over so the young mom can rest and focus on her baby. People only do this because they have gotten to know you and develop a connection/ friendship. It takes time, efforts, investment of energy, and risk of rejections on all parties involved.

He didn't write that the people weren't friendly; he was writing that Huntsville is boring for him. Well, maybe for him and maybe for some types of people, but I don't find Huntsville boring, but I'm married with kids (and it doesn't hurt that I happen to be a boring person either). I can see how it would be boring for some people though. It's just right for my demographic and stage in life. But yes, people here are pretty relaxed and that seems to make them smile more and be more engaging.