Need incentive for my 17 yr. old!!! (Boise, Meridian: homes, elementary school, universities)

[off2ID]

Ok, here's the deal. Our family wants to live in Idaho however, my 17 yr. old daughter has no desire. She is a senior in high school and will be starting community college with a desire to become an elementary school teacher. Of course she doesn't have to go once she is 18. She is a great kid, not a trouble maker at all. My question is what incentives can I entice her with? Are there any great community colleges (and universities) that she might see that will wow her? How about recreational activities (we are very outdoorsy, she is definately not a girly girl!) We are traveling up there in July to check out different places north and south. Any help will be appreciated. I don't want to leave her behind!!!

[pacalady]

I live in northern ID (Post Falls). There are some great opportunities for your daughter to get her teaching certificate! Check out Lewis & Clark, University of Idaho, North Idaho College, as well as Spokane colleges (which is only 25 minutes from us). Gonzaga, Whitworth, Spokane Falls Community, WSU etc. Maybe if she sees what is here, and the fact that she has some 'choices' will help her transition easier!

As for recreation.....it is limitless! Hiking in the mountains, fishing, swimming, water skiing, snow skiing, snow mobiling, biking, horse back riding, you name it......

If your travel plans include the Coeur d' Alene area (where I am) you might do some internet research to get some ideas of places to see/visit when you come in July.

Good luck!! You're gonna love it here!!

Pacalady

[Torrie]

Boise-Metro would be perfect for her for teaching, it's a huge family oriented community. Currently there is a hiring freeze due to what's going on in the economy, but I think you will find that in a lot of cities, so she needs to be aware she may not be able to teach as quickly as she might want to. Hopefully, by the time she gets done with school things will have turned around.

There's access to all kinds of outdoor activities, so no problem there. Community college is where we lack, though there is one in the works. She could attend Boise State.....

I say the incentive is, go where there's lots of kids and Boise-Metro is the place!

[Trace_Rinaldi]

North Idaho has some great Universities, and one sits right on a 25 mile lake.. Sarah Palin went to it and the one in Moscow Id.. That may or may not wow her. They are both very pretty campuses from what I've seen... ALOT better than UCR!!

[Sage of Sagle]

Originally Posted by off2ID

Ok, here's the deal. Our family wants to live in Idaho however, my 17 yr. old daughter has no desire. She is a senior in high school and will be starting community college with a desire to become an elementary school teacher. Of course she doesn't have to go once she is 18. She is a great kid, not a trouble maker at all. My question is what incentives can I entice her with? Are there any great community colleges (and universities) that she might see that will wow her? How about recreational activities (we are very outdoorsy, she is definately not a girly girl!) We are traveling up there in July to check out different places north and south. Any help will be appreciated. I don't want to leave her behind!!!

That 17-18 yo stage can be really tough on a kid. If she doesn't WANT to go to Idaho, I would work on moving here after she's 18, and she would have to understand that she would need to be at a college or somehow "self supporting" at that point once you're gone.

As far as big incentives, Boise (especially Eagle/Meridian) is going to feel an awful lot like Temecula. So it won't hold a big draw for her to give up her friends and social life to move. So from my perspective, the only real draw of Boise for her would be maybe BSU since it's a great school, or U of I since Moscow is a great college town, etc. I just don't think that community colleges are going to be a big deal to her since even the good ones all sort of seem the same. So the chance to "live at home" and attend a good college would be HUGE financial incentive versus you guys being gone to Idaho and her trying to make a go of it in SoCal at age 18.

I completely understand your desire to move here, and I think you're making a great choice....but I just think you've got a pretty hard task ahead of you to convince her. My oldest girl was 15 when we came here. Enough time to make HS friends for 3 years and thus want to stay in ID for college. If she had been 17 and resistant, I don't think it would have worked well.

I don't mean to be pessimistic...but in MY situation I don't know if anything would convince a 17yo girl with an active social life to move out of state unless you sell her on a University here....since she'd likely be leaving SoCal in a year for school anyhow...

[8 SNAKE]

Originally Posted by off2ID

Our family wants to live in Idaho however, my 17 yr. old daughter has no desire. She is a senior in high school and will be starting community college with a desire to become an elementary school teacher. Of course she doesn't have to go once she is 18.

Just to be clear, your daughter is currently a senior in high school and will be graduating in the next month or so? If that's the case, what are her reservations about moving? I assume that she's planning to attend a community college in your current area, and is reluctant to leave her network of friends.

You might explain to her that the current network that she has is likely to change a great deal in the next few months, whether she moves or not. High school networks rarely stay intact very long after graduation, because people go in so many new directions. Looking back, it's easy for me to say that. When I was in high school, I thought that those people would be my close friends forever. Your daughter probably does too.

[Movinin08]

Sage is right...Every situation is different and kids will surprise when you least expect it.

My wife and I stopped in Northern Idaho on our way back to So Cal from a trip to Montana. Fell in love with CDA and Hayden. Got back and told my daughter we wanted to move, after she was done with High School. This was during the summer after her Sophmore year. The tears started to flow, she didn't want to live out in the "sticks". Well we told her nothing was set in stone and that was still two years away. As the year progressed she started asking me question about Idaho, so the summer after her junior year we went on a road trip. She got to see alot of Idaho from Boise to McCall and CDA and all of a sudden she was okay with the move. During her seniior year we checked out colleges in the Pacific North West. She applied to several, including University of Idaho. But by now my wife and I were unable to move for several reason, mostly my mother's health.

But my daughter continued with her plans. She was accepted at U of I and choose U of I instead of some local California Colleges. We took her up to school dropped her off and went back to California and then all of us, including my daughter, spent the next several months wondering if we had done the right thing. She was very homesick and we missed her terribly, but she took care of things and showed us what she was capable of doing. We were impressed. Now she has gotten involved, made friends, which she says are closer to her than anybody she hung out with for the four years of high school. She loves where she is at. She still has some difficulty with the small town life in Moscow but she does go to Spokane everyonce in awhile to get her city fix. She is now 18 and in her second semester of college.

So don't give up on the idea. Take her up to Idaho, let her see the area and some of the schools. I think Lewis and Clark is a great place but community college is a different situation than living on campus at a university. If she gets involved she will make some great friends. I have never met nicer people than those in Idaho. Whatever you do, don't force her. She has to find what is right for her and she may surprise you, ours did. Best of Luck

[Sandpointian]

Environmental motivation: Alpine hikes (LPO/Schweitzer, Glacier NP, Drive up to Banff--take two of her friends that put her at ease and are interactive. Impossible not to be impressed.

People inspiration: Go to a "warm" culture. I recommend Andalucia in Spain. Greece in the summer would be another good bet. Cuba would be a new call. Joie d'vivre. Go to a tradition bound culture: I suggest Kyoto Japan or Persia. Go to a fun travel oriented country during festival time: Scandinavia or Germany would fir the bill. Family and community orientation: the US. Sandpoint in the summer is hard to beat. Summer in many US cities--fun. Blow-you-Away settings: Manhattan or Washington DC (money and power)

Intellectual appeal: Cambridge, US (Harvard); Cambridge UK; Oxford

Exotica: Bhutan, Deep Amazone jungle (safety?), Deep African jungle (safety?); Borneo

Art/Science: Florence & Milan, Italy; Paris; New York; Washington, DC

Government Appeal: Washington DC

Humanist Inspiration: Habitat for Humanity; Soup Kitchens; Amigos program; NGO in Africa or India

Something will stick!! Good Luck!!

S
P.S. LOL!! I think I read your post incorrectly. In any case, the same spirit applies!!

[Mtn. States Resident]

off2ID,

I, too, have to agree with Sage's advice.

I admit to being slightly confused when you say, " Our family wants to live in Idaho however, my 17 yr. old daughter has no desire." Would it be more correct to say something like, every other family member, except my 17 yr. old daughter, wants to move to ID? Not trying to split words here, but to review some points and how families/kids work (or don't).

How is your daughter's relationship with your other children? Is there one or more she would miss being in CA while the rest of you moved? Is there another child who could help you in your efforts with your daughter?

More than anything, I hear her screaming, "I feel like I have no control, no say in what is going to happen in my life." Working on that assumption, I'd create family activities or even 1:1 time with this daughter to learn about Idaho.

I was going to post some links for webcams, but decided that defeated the purpose of my major point. If YOUR DAUGHTER can find webcams she wants to look at in Idaho, then she has found at least a small part of something in ID on her own. Think of how you parent her on other issues, do you force the issue, bribe the issue or give limited choices that are realistic?

So I'd start by letting your daughter present what SHE can find about all of Idaho, without focusing on any college activity. At this point, I wouldn't limit where you are looking to live as I didn't read that you had an area picked out already. What some of us like others don't. What really matters is what your family and especially your daughter like? Listening is a very useful skill with teens; it can be hard, but ultimately is useful. Instead of forcing the "where in ID" issue, ask her what she wants to experience in college, and what other experiences does she want in life? Does she want to learn to climb mountains like the Tetons, does she want to white water raft, like the rapids close to the Sawtooth Mtns and elsewhere etc.? I'd let her research the information for CA and ID (plus surrounding close areas).

Let your daughter search for information about various locations which have colleges, universities, tech schools that offer general ed etc. in ID along with opportunities to meet some of her other interests. And ask for her advice as an almost young adult of what she thinks would be a good match for your family of where to live in ID. In other words, make her part of the solution and let her feel like her input matters. Until she feels like her life has stopped spinning out-of-control, she is going to struggle. How can you best give her some control so she can contribute to your family's experience while finding her own way in the process?

I'd make it a fun "research project," so-to-speak. Let her teach you and your family about the state. Regardless of whether you know the information, it will go further with the younger ones if she shares it, not you. (NO OFFENSE INTENDED. Kids are kids.). What can parents know at their "old ages," compared to teens and younger kids? We've all been there in one way or another.

Good luck in your adventures with your daughter. You may discover a lot about this child you've never known before and vice versa. I ultimately don't think she can tolerate, for whatever reasons, being "told" more. She has to discover it and tell you. That way she is taking charge of her life.

Let us know what you think of our various suggestions.

I wish you the best of luck.

MSR

[off2ID]

Well now. Thank you for some great ideas. I am hoping that when we see some of the amazing areas that Idaho has to offer she will take a liking. I have to agree with Movinin08, she may surprise us. We hope for a successful vacation in July.