eviction (rent, loans, attorney)

[top_notch-chick]

I live in central IL. I have lived with my husband (then boyfriend) since May 09. We got married Oct 09. We live with his grandmother and brother. In Dec 09 my husband got custody of his son. Since there has been an extra one there has been lots of added stress, also from court with child's bio-mom. Grandma and brother do not always agree with me and my husband. Grandma follows me around, yells at me. She tried to rip my phone from my ear last night, then grabbed my wrists, in front of the child. Today we bumped heads again and she says she is having me evicted. I have never moved out of her home since I moved in. We help around the house. We do not pay bills. My husband was unemployed through the winter until Mach. April I totaled my car. We have bills, the attorney for family court and the loans we've took out to pay for it! Can she really evict me, and not my husband and son? We are married! I am a dependent. He is the breadwinner, I watch child while he works second shift. If I get evicted he will not have a baby sitter. He would more then likely lose his job, and as a result lose custody of his child. What do we do??

[linicx]

Take a deep breath and slow down. Yes, grandma can evict you IF you are living in her house. Shr can evict you and not your husband. It sounds like grandma is stressed and needs a break.

It is very difficult for two families to live in the same household under perfect conditions, let alone three. It is also difficult to be a step-mother under perfect condiions. The fighting with grandma is probably more stressful to her than you due to the natural aging process.

What can you do? You could try listening to grandma and find out why she is unhappy. It might be something simple you can do to help her. Second, you and your family are guests in her home. She earned the right to be heard by virtue of living this long.

Your husband should talk to grandma and take her out for lunch or breakfast on his day off. And he needs to take his son to the park or movie or ??? so you all can take a regular break from child care. He should do the same for his uncle. He gets a break every day he works; the rest of you do not. Maybe you can take his uncle out for coffee or a sandwich. Maybe you should talk to grandma and uncle more and talk less on the phone. Maybe you need to offer to pay grandma rent or buy groceries.

We lived with my mother for about six months after dad died to help her while we looked for a house. We paid $400 rent plus 2/3 of the groceries, 1/2 of the utilies every month plus we did the house and yard work so we could live in the basement. And she complained to everyone we knew that we cheated her. Mother did not need the money and we didn't need the drama. If I had known then what I know now, I would never have moved into her house.

The reason to do these things is to try to knock the sharp edge off the tension. If it works it is a cheao fix. Wether or not it works depends upon how wide the rift and how deep the chasm. It may be that the untimate solution is to move - as it was in our case.

You all have an added burden of the current economy. Money is one of the major reasons that cause divorce. Take one day at a time and try to love each other. It is a big job.

Good Luck.

[Avengerfire]

It seems like grandma does not like you. If she evicts you-and your husband does not stick up for you-you might have to file for divorce and move on with your life.

[top_notch-chick]

no my husband stands his ground if she evicts me that we go as a family. and also, we do buy groceries for the whole house hold.

[Avengerfire]

I am sad to hear about your troubles-I hope you can find a way to work something out.