Would you help this friend with a reference? (employees, debt, references) - Job Search -Interviews, resumes, recruiters, and more - City-Data Forum

Maila · 04-04-2014, 09:28 AM

I have know this person for a long time now. He went through a lot of struggles (including divorce). He took a break from his career and did an MBA. Now, he asked me for a job in the firm I was working in and luckily, there was a position available at that time. Since the recruiting manager was my friend, I used some influence and got him a job. It was a contract for 12 months but then, they were looking to make that position permanent. After 12 months, his contract was terminated.

Later I came to know that he was a very very poor performer and that he used to make plenty of errors and that he never delivers his tasks on time.

I obviously felt bad that it would go against my record that i referred a poor performer.
When he lost the job, he didnt find another one for a very long time; long enough to accumulate too much debt to be able to pay bills and keep a roof over his head.

Then he came again asking me for a reference letter to be given to a prospective employer. I gave a positive reference (given that he is my friend and he needs money). He got the job. He was laid-off in 6 months on a fulltime job!

Now he is asking me to speak to another recruiter and give him my reference again.

I am stuck. He is a good friend but obviously he is not doing smething right.
I am worried if i give my reference the third time and he messes it up, it would go very bad on my record.

Would you refer someone like this the third time?

e130478 · 04-04-2014, 09:33 AM

No, he sounds incredibly irresponsible. I'm not sure I would even want someone like this as a "friend."

Maila · 04-04-2014, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e130478

No, he sounds incredibly irresponsible. I'm not sure I would even want someone like this as a "friend."

Ya, he doesnt sound professional at all. I have to find a way to politely tell him he can no longer use my reference. How do I do that?

I am his friend and he is mine. I cant break off because of this. Known him for years and we have been there for each other since primary school.

Mr_Geek · 04-04-2014, 09:49 AM

Say "I gave a reference for someone and it turned out bad so I am really not comfortable being a reference any longer"

Maybe he will assume it was someone else

STT Resident · 04-04-2014, 11:45 AM

I think you should just be honest. Tell him that because the last two jobs for which you gave him a reference didn't work out you're just not comfortable doing so. It's not easy to do but it's in your best interests.

Just in the last few years a couple of former employees have asked me to give them references and I've declined - and told them why. In both cases they're really nice people and I like them a lot. But as employees they just weren't up to par (and they knew it) so it comes right back on me if I give them a good reference which isn't worth the paper it's written on. Now if someone wants a character reference attesting to their good nature and likability, no problem. I just can't truthfully say that they're good, from my standpoint, in their present occupations.

Maila · 04-04-2014, 12:20 PM

Thanks Mr.Geek and STT. I have to tell him. I am bracing for it.

STT, I did tell him in the form of a feed back but it really didnt go well. He had his side of the story and the employers had their side to it.

I am going to tell him that maybe he should look for someone else because its just been too long ago he worked with us and the references are no longer current.