Asked co-worker for reference and this is what I got
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if I haven't spoken to a person in a year, I'm not sure I could bring myself to ask them to do me a favor like that. A whole year has gone by and the first time I'm hearing from you, is you wanting a favor from me. And if you didn't need this favor from me, I most likely wouldn't be hearing from you now. Yeah, she went overboard with her response when all she had to say was a yes I can do it or no I don't want to.
if I haven't spoken to a person in a year, I'm not sure I could bring myself to ask them to do me a favor like that. A whole year has gone by and the first time I'm hearing from you, is you wanting a favor from me.
When I put down my former employers as references, they are also people I haven't talked to in a long time!
Also, she could have contacted me as well over the past year and I would have talked to her. Its a two way street.
I would not have ignored the texts, nor do you have to explain yourself. I would have responded with something like, "I was asking for a reference as a coworker but, based on your response, there is no reason for us to have any more contact with each other."
That is a good response and I should have used that. I'd love to say that to her now, but I don't want to engage with her anymore - in any way. I've just dropped it completely. I am actually somewhat afraid of her. Today, I found out she has been ranting about this to other people and posting on Facebook about it. She's gone off the deep end over a simple request. She really needs to move on with her life and get past this. Obviously, if I had known asking her for a reference would trigger a psychotic reaction, I would never have done it. Hindsight is 20/20.
When I put down my former employers as references, they are also people I haven't talked to in a long time!
Also, she could have contacted me as well over the past year and I would have talked to her. Its a two way street.
True but they are not your friend and don't know you on a personal level and is strictly business. But, this person you say was a friend and that's where the problem comes in. A friend who haven't heard from you in all that time until you want something will take things personal, other people wont have the personal connection so they will see things different and most likely keep it on a professional level. Yes, she could have contacted you also but that didn't happen. I would just get over it and move on and best of luck to you.
I agree with you that it was probably not wise considering a year had passed, and I can see how she would have been somewhat offended.
I still think the facebook rants were over the top and she went too far with it. Anyway, I am glad I found out she is mentally unstable, I can't associate with her anyway. I have a child living under my roof and have to be careful about people I let into my life.
I agree with you that it was probably not wise considering a year had passed, and I can see how she would have been somewhat offended.
I still think the facebook rants were over the top and she went too far with it. Anyway, I am glad I found out she is mentally unstable, I can't associate with her anyway. I have a child living under my roof and have to be careful about people I let into my life.
Just put her and all the drama in your past and continue to move forward with your life. I believe you will be just fine and may you and your child be blessed.
I agree with everyone else. This person doesn't sound as if her head is screwed on all the way. And further, it sounds as if she thought your friendship was a lot more than you thought it was. Just walk away. These people cross our paths in life from time to time and it's best to learn early just to detach yourself.
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