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I moved to other family across the US for a chance at life, a new start. No jobs in this tiny ass town. But, I can ride the bus 40 miles to Bakersfield, this is California.
I think I will go to an employment agency, and if I get killed in that crime filled city, then what happens happens, out of my control, and maybe there will be another life that I can do better in.
I am a guy, almost 21, never had a girlfriend, never even had sex, never even kissed! Never been accepted socially by many. Failed high school, yet still received diploma (that's America I guess). Never been hired for any job. Never learned any life skills, so I found out when I set out (didn't come straight here, tried making it on my own right after moving out, out of strong desire for independence and life) and found out the struggles of reality. I didn't have a f*cking clue how life/the world worked, so I just turned in job applications into places while staying in a motel, almost ended up homeless a few times, went around the US to meet some Facebook friends, because they (lied) said they'd help me get a job. Also, I was unwilling to stay where I knew nobody when I could go be with friends, as I don't know how to live life like a normal person, I don't know how it works, I've been stuck in a room way out in the middle of nowhere my whole life, I had TV and movies, but they didn't portray real life.
I tried to get into Peace Corps, but was told I need a Bachelor's Degree and/or certain work experience. So then I talked to military recruiters, they said since I take prescription medication I was not qualified to join. I applied to Job Corps, which I may be qualified to join, but am not looking very forward to it after all the prison reviews of it, and I'm white so I will not be well liked there. The best available option now seems to be taking the bus down to Bakersfield to an employment agency, and probably get a job dow there, 40 mile bus ride for $3 each way, not bad, the commute is fine. I hate the ghetto, I actually stayed in one, got robbed, and almost got my ass beat. Cops can't recover stolen cash, unfortunately, so there was nothing they could do about the cash stolen behind my back. It was $200 out of my wallet too. This was in Charleston, South Carolina. It's crime rate is actually higher than Bakersfield, Caifornia according to Numbeo. I was never in danger walking down the streets there, only in danger with someone who was associated with my Facebook friend I met there. So if Charleston's crime rate is higher than Bakersfield and no one off of the streets messed with me, I should be safe in Bakersfield, according to the statstsitics.
I realize I am too old to be controlled and dependent, and took serious action seeking out options. Peace Corps is out. Military is out. Job Corps is a last resort. (Seriously, I'd rather give guys handjobs and masturbate for them on webcam, since that's the audience guys attract on sites where you masturbate for money, no women want to see that, even if they think the guy is hot, no women want a male prostitute either, even if they think the guys is hot. Guys have flirted with me like crazy online, very graphically, detailed, explicitly, and it makes me uncomfortable, but what makes it worse is no women want me, only guys want me. I want a girlfriend, not just for sex, for love! A life partner, lover, and best friend.
I want to matter in this world, and right now I don't, in fact I rely on foodstamps to eat, so I actually am a burden on society. Some of my family actually want me to get on disability so I can be independent, since that is the only way I can get money if I can't get a job to hire me. Even if I could, I doubt someone who's never worked (or even someone who has) would get enough to live off of, New York City and San Francisco aren't the only high cost of living places, everywhere is. But without a job (with high income) you will be living with others or homeless. I can't even apply to places that don't accept applications. I thought fast food and retail hired everyone? That's what everyone says.
It took spending my entire life savings to finally escape home, the damn complete middle of nowhere I've been stuck in my whole life, I had to spend my entire life savings (less than $3,000) to escape, and probably prevent myself from suicide, which I was ready to do.
Turns out I could have left home at anytime, I lasted longer than I thought I could, I just failed to develop a good plan, which I should have been able to do while sitting in the motel in the first city I went to, but I was too rash and unstable, I had to go where friends were, (I already went over what happened though) I had no social life the entire time I was moving around (minus the Facebook friends I met in person) and people on the Internet said you will make friends and more if you travel, they obviously left out some very important details.
I just want a life like the rest of the human race, a girlfriend, sex, friends, actually making the world a better place. I mean, if I make at least one person's life better, I do matter, but there is no guarantee any person will walk into my life. And many people say you must do nothing and let things come to you, while others say you must take action and be a go getter, which sounds more like it'd actually work. There are people in their 40s, 50s, and who die, never having done what they wanted in life, never dated, never lost their virginity, never were happy in life, and they didn't choose any of it (at least not intentionally) so you can't say it's their choice to go without, because they actually say they wanted and want all of that, but fail every time they try.
I feel like, if it happens to them, why won't it happen to me? What makes me any different than them? If I succeed that makes me better than them (I know it sounds mean, I'm just being factual though) and I can't imagine being better than anyone else.
School was AWFUL, from the beginning to high school. Social and other rejection from ALL, and now I a full of hatred, anger, hostility, and insanity, however these personalities are only part time, as I go through different emotions and personalities regularly, even without triggers apparently.
Can anyone help me just get out of here? Don't suggest Peace Corps or Military, because I actually CONTACTED both and they told me I'm not qualified. And remember, Job Corps is a LAST RESORT, even going down to crime filled city of Bakersfield to go to the employment agency and try to get a job comes first.
I don't know if college is an option, or what I'd even study. I don't even know if I qualify for instate tuition in my home state anymore, I get EBT foodstamps so there's proof that I live in California now. It takes 1 year to qualify for in state tuition. But if I could go to college in my home state, I don't know if it'd be considered in state or out of state tuition, as I have been recorded of living here now (welfare office) to get my EBT food stamps card.
I do hear that ANYONE can get college grants, and even if it had to be out of state, as long as college would be the right path, at this point in my life, the debt would be worth it, most people are buried in debt and still live enjoyable lives, and many people even stop worrying about it as they don't see it being possible to ever pay it off.
Social problems going to college at 21, you're supposed to go right out of high school, or one year after, but no later, I would be an old college freshman, it'd be out of whack. Would I make friends? Would I get a girlfriend? Would I lose my virginity? Would I be able to pass my classes? Would I be able to get a job with my college degree after I graduate?
I am very blind to the possibilities of life, or are they all actually out of my reach?
I do hear that ANYONE can get college grants, and even if it had to be out of state, as long as college would be the right path, at this point in my life, the debt would be worth it, most people are buried in debt and still live enjoyable lives, and many people even stop worrying about it as they don't see it being possible to ever pay it off.
There is so much in your post that I really cannot address, so I am going to take this one point and help you out.
Typically you need to live in a state for one year to establish residency so that you qualify for the lower in-stTe tuition rates.
California Community colleges are pretty inexpensive for in-state students, and they accept students on a rolling basis, which means you can start at almost any time during the year once you have established residency.
Go and see a financial aid specialist. They will have you fill out th FAFSA and help you with any questions. It sounds like you would qualify for max financial aid, which means you will get enough grants to pay for your college in full AND give you living expense money. Loans would be above and beyond this, be very cautios.
As for what you want to study, it almost doesn't matter. Admissions people will put you through placement tests for math and English. Take those until you figure it out. Different colleges offer different programs, but they will all offer something practical, like welding, automechanics, medical tech training, etc. take your pick of what interests you and go for it.
College can also be a social outlet for you. It is very different from high school, you will find somebody with common interests.
Hi there, sounds like you have alot going on there. For starters, it isn't unusual to not be in a relationship at your age, or a virgin at 21. Let that go for a moment because your priority should be to get a job. The rest of the the stuff just falls into place. You sound like you're willing to take the bus to Bakersfield. This is good news because....
During this time of year many businesses are looking for Christmas help, so you'd have a pretty good chance at finding something right now if you go look. Think about dollar stores and Walgreens type places where they need constant help at all hours with unloading trucks, restocking, inventories, customer service, etc. Check out restaurants to see if they need kitchen help, busboys, dishwashing, etc. Supermarkets are everywhere. Is there one where you live? Again, they need help in the back with unloading and stocking shelves. Talk to someone at an employment agency, just make sure you aren't paying them anything for it. Just get out there!
Typically you need to have several references, friend from the past, a teacher, an adult from a neighborhood you lived in. Where do you live now? Fill out applications and state you have no experience but want to learn and gain experience with the public. Obviously you have some skills. You seem intelligent and pretty articulate and have a high school degree. You have PC skills, you can form grammatically correct sentences, you can read and comprehend. You are better off that you think you are.
Everyone has to make a first step. Don't get bogged down with everything else that is making you feel like a loser, because you aren't one! Baby steps baby! You can do this!
Hi there, sounds like you have alot going on there. For starters, it isn't unusual to not be in a relationship at your age, or a virgin at 21. Let that go for a moment because your priority should be to get a job. The rest of the the stuff just falls into place. You sound like you're willing to take the bus to Bakersfield. This is good news because....
During this time of year many businesses are looking for Christmas help, so you'd have a pretty good chance at finding something right now if you go look. Think about dollar stores and Walgreens type places where they need constant help at all hours with unloading trucks, restocking, inventories, customer service, etc. Check out restaurants to see if they need kitchen help, busboys, dishwashing, etc. Supermarkets are everywhere. Is there one where you live? Again, they need help in the back with unloading and stocking shelves. Talk to someone at an employment agency, just make sure you aren't paying them anything for it. Just get out there!
Typically you need to have several references, friend from the past, a teacher, an adult from a neighborhood you lived in. Where do you live now? Fill out applications and state you have no experience but want to learn and gain experience with the public. Obviously you have some skills. You seem intelligent and pretty articulate and have a high school degree. You have PC skills, you can form grammatically correct sentences, you can read and comprehend. You are better off that you think you are.
Everyone has to make a first step. Don't get bogged down with everything else that is making you feel like a loser, because you aren't one! Baby steps baby! You can do this!
What do you think?
Can I do it with NO references? My uncle told me to use him but you can't use family, obviously because employers expect family to lie for you.
I wouldn't know if I'm normal or high skilled or not, because I haven't been around other humans for a long long time. And when I was in school, everyone put me down and bullied me mercilessly. And my dad was abusive too. My mom? My dad's say was final, not my mom's. So no college then, even though it was just going to be community college. And now, I just don't know if/how I would go. And only having lived in California for 3 months, would be out of state, if I went back to my home state I don't know if i'd be in or out of state, because I get EBT food stamps card here, so there's a record that I live here.
A response to the reference question? Sure, you can get a job without references. Some places don't check.
A response to anything else? It's not clear what you are asking.
Have you gone to your local CC and spoken to a financial aid specialist?
Local CC? No, I haven't gotten to go back to my home state yet. I just want to be out of the house as AMAP (as much as possible) too, because it's unhealthy to always be at home and around family.
I'm willing to do the lowest level lowest paying job, just to get a start, save the cash, move forward. I feel it would be better to be able to move AWAY FROM HOME BEFORE going to any kind of college/school. I am still open to Job Corps btw.
Local CC? No, I haven't gotten to go back to my home state yet. I just want to be out of the house as AMAP (as much as possible) too, because it's unhealthy to always be at home and around family.
I'm willing to do the lowest level lowest paying job, just to get a start, save the cash, move forward. I feel it would be better to be able to move AWAY FROM HOME BEFORE going to any kind of college/school. I am still open to Job Corps btw.
Why go back to your home state if you want to avoid living at home? That makes no sense. Go see the CC in Bakersfield and see if they can help you.
I don't know anything about job corps, so I am not going to comment.
Hi LifeSeeker21, let me be brutally honest here for a few seconds. You can hate me after if you want.
I've been reading your posts from thread to thread. It really looks to me like you have absolutely no plan and no goal. No real direction. And I might also add that there could be some elements of self-sabotage involve. You seem to have just the right combination of everything to make one bad decision after another.
You need proper guidance. At this point in your life, it really does not seem like you have any good influence in your life. Furthermore, the self-sabotage elements I spoke of is also preventing you from valuing proper guidance that you may come across.
Just keep this in mind. If someone has your best interest in mind, he will surely tell you things you do not want to hear about yourself. You will need to do things outside your comfort zone, which will cause a natural reaction in you to hate the person who's trying to help you. I see this in troubled youths all the time.
I'm sorry I'm not anywhere near you to be of any help. I've told you some of the signs of someone who will truly want to help you. Whether you accept the help or not is entirely up to you.
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