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Back to the original post, if one truly has earnings that high I think an easier approach is to trim or eliminate current expenses first and see where that gets you in a few months.
Personally I'd do absolutely anything rather than work more. I think we all work hard enough as it is.
I agree that we all work hard enough, but I'd rather work an extra 10-20 hours a week to go on dates with my wife and take my kids to a ballgame than use that time to watch tv.
We've already trimmed and eliminated many expenses for years. We don't go on dates or partake of the many entertainment options around because of $. We don't have people do work for us, go on vacations, or do many family experiences that cost $.
When we stick to this, we're able to have a tight, but relatively balanced budget. The moment we decide to do something to break up our lives and enjoy ourselves, like go on a couple dates, or take the family to a restaurant or concert; or we're forced to pay for home or auto repairs; stuff goes south fast. And since the budget is more balanced than positive, it takes a long time to eliminate debts accrued.
One spot we could really cut back is celebrations & gifts. My wife isn't really down with that though. She was raised in a big family that always celebrates birthdays and holidays and makes people feel special even if they really shouldn't spend that much. It's a cultural thing that she's not willing to let go of.
Another is our grocery bill. But we're vegan, and my wife and kids are either allergic to or hate many vegetables. The fake meats, cheeses, etc. are all really expensive.
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Originally Posted by oceangaia
It sounds like you are in a very precarious position. While your niche skills may be difficult for the company to replace, if they did have to release you it sounds like you are unlikely to replace it with something comparable.
I'm well aware of this and have been for a while. Ultimately, I need to get experience or certificates in transferrable skills. My job keeps trying to get me on new projects (at my request), but I bring in too much $ in my current role, so the new projects get deprioritized. Since I don't use these skills at my job, it will require a lot of time studying / practicing - probably 100+ hours per cert for multiple certs - during which time our finances will continue to suffer and relationships will be increasingly strained.
One positive though, is that if my job did let me go, that would be a pretty clear indication that my specialty is no longer a main focus of theirs and may make it difficult to enforce the non-compete.
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Originally Posted by Hermit12
Why can't people just answer the question without attacking others?
What is lacking in some people's lives that they feel the need to go out of their way to attack people on the internet who are asking innocent questions?
I don't consider the response you quoted to be attacking at all... Some of the earlier ones, maybe. But if they've seen a very specific pattern repeat itself throughout this site, and people are usually trying to use it as a means to humble-brag, then I get it and don't hold it against them.
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Originally Posted by jobaba
I guess I was just sick of seeing the stream of posters saying they make 150k but cannot live or want to make more money by switching careers or want to work 2 jobs or want to quit their job because they're not 100% WFH or are bored because they are given little to do.
But you have a good point actually. Why post if you're not going to contribute? If you're skeptical, then why comment? Why argue for the sake of arguing?
I've been asking myself why I continue to post here. At least W&E.
But I do apologize.
Apology accepted, and it wasn't a big deal anyway. FWIW, the only reason I posted what I make is because I wanted to head off the various forms of "why don't you go work at Fedex, they start at $25 / hour", "if you learn skill x or get a CDL you can easily make $80k within 2 years", etc.
If you think you're sick of hearing people complain about making $150k and "can't live" (which is bull, unless they're in CA or NYC or something), how do you think I feel making that - far more than I ever expected / set out to - and having to tell my kids "sorry, we can't afford to order pizza this week, and we can't go see the Monster Truck show because it's too expensive" or watching my wife have to decline a weekend trip with her sisters because we can't afford the hotel, eating out, and drinks at the clubs for 2 nights. It's really frustrating and disheartening, especially since I've worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this point.
I don't WANT to work 2 jobs. But we're currently cash flow negative with well over $10k in credit card debt. We can get ourselves to cashflow positive, but barely, and we're miserable. $150k sounds like a lot, but it's really not that much to support a family of 5 with pets, cars, an aging home, etc., especially after the recent inflation and rising insurance costs.
My psychiatric hospital/residentails hired weekend only people for all shifts- work two shifts, get paid for three, and pro-rated benefits. A lot of people with second jobs did this.
Trying to be helpful by throwing out some other ideas? Doesn't make it an attack.
If the OP wants to trade even more of his time for work that's his choice. I'd sit down and really run through the expenses, see what can be trimmed. Doesn't have to be eliminated, just trimmed. At one point in my life things were just too tight and I was going into debt. I ended up renting out a room to a tenant for a year. It was the easiest way for an instant extra $500 month and gave me time to get out of my jam.
We go through that stuff every couple of months. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can really cut at this point without making our lives miserable. Sure, we could eat nothing but rice, beans, and pasta for a month or two, but that's not a good long term solution, and isn't healthy for our kids. We could prevent the kids from attending birthday parties, or take them out of their after school activities but that's not good for them socially or physically. I suppose we could stop contributing to their college fund, but that doesn't seem like great parenting, especially since both kids are exceptional intellectually & academically.
We could make a lot renting out a room, but the one ideally suited for that is being used by my FIL. The others would use a bathroom right next to the kids' room. We're not really cool with that unless we know the person well beforehand. My wife also hates the idea of other people using our kitchen and disorganizing things. She's already gets agitated enough by us, let alone non-family.
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Originally Posted by moguldreamer
Going past the professional services work you clearly are qualified for, see what people are desperate for on your local Nextdoor community. Around here, if I wanted to, I could keep quite busy with "rent-a-husband" type of handyman tasks....
Before you dismiss the above out of hand assuming the $$ wouldn't be material, do your homework. You'd be amazed at what some of the retirees here are willing to pay. It is all local, of course, so your location will be quite different in what is in demand.
I'll keep an eye out for stuff like this. I haven't really used Nextdoor much, but am on some FB groups for our local area and see some requests. Most people want licensed contractors, and those that don't I try to pass to my FIL because he's trying to make a living out of this and woodworking. Taking a few on myself might be a good idea.
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Originally Posted by moguldreamer
Then there are the requests for a "mother's helper" - largely domestic services and organizational services (perhaps your wife might be able to do this).
While not a side gig per se, mrs moguldreamer was paid $$ just to select the color scheme for painting the exterior of a condo high rise here in Las Vegas....
I'm not going to rely on my wife to bring in income. It will be nice if/when it happens, but she already feels overwhelmed with the kids.
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Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
Onlyfans.
lol. I'm a guy and while I guess I'm ok looking for middle-age, I don't have a stripper body. Nor do I have an extroverted, magnetic personality to draw in a crowd for channel content. Even if I did, that usually takes a while to earn any significant $.
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Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
Cat/dog walker.
Cool idea that I'll keep a look out for. Though I don't know how many people want their dog walked at 10pm. I might find some weekend work though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
Are you handy? Maybe try Taskrabbit. You set the hourly pay. I use it when I purchase things from Ikea. It is easier to pay someone else to put the stuff together.
I'm handy enough for stuff like that and basic household chores. Something else for me to pursue. There will be a lot of competition for these things in my area, but I may drum up a couple reasonable jobs.
My psychiatric hospital/residentails hired weekend only people for all shifts- work two shifts, get paid for three, and pro-rated benefits. A lot of people with second jobs did this.
Sounds great! What do you do? Do you need any credentials? How do you find these jobs? Just look up the psychiatric hospitals and go to their website / email someone?
We go through that stuff every couple of months. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can really cut at this point without making our lives miserable. Sure, we could eat nothing but rice, beans, and pasta for a month or two, but that's not a good long term solution, and isn't healthy for our kids. We could prevent the kids from attending birthday parties, or take them out of their after school activities but that's not good for them socially or physically. I suppose we could stop contributing to their college fund, but that doesn't seem like great parenting, especially since both kids are exceptional intellectually & academically.
Things like investments and college funds are so variable, it could be $100 per month or $1000 per month, expanding to consume any disposable income. Maybe they will get scholarships anyway if they are so exceptional. Seems these days kids get access to colleges regardless of savings or no savings, what's the point?
There is so much variability in the things you mentioned that the line items don't tell anyone if you're frugal or extravagant. For example, my daughter took clarinet lessons and wanted a $2000 clarinet, she got a nice used one for $500 that played well. Last I heard she hasn't touched it in years. Birthday parties could be a backyard gathering with a home made cake to renting the community center and catering. Only you can know if you're being economical or justifying a splurge on one thing after another. But I still think finding ways to cut expenses is the quickest and surest path.
You already sound pretty tight on time. I think a second job is what will be miserable.
(I'm hoping this isn't going to be one of those threads where the OP is looking for a purple unicorn, asking for advice and then shooting down every single idea suggested.)
Things like investments and college funds are so variable, it could be $100 per month or $1000 per month, expanding to consume any disposable income. Maybe they will get scholarships anyway if they are so exceptional. Seems these days kids get access to colleges regardless of savings or no savings, what's the point?
There is so much variability in the things you mentioned that the line items don't tell anyone if you're frugal or extravagant. For example, my daughter took clarinet lessons and wanted a $2000 clarinet, she got a nice used one for $500 that played well. Last I heard she hasn't touched it in years. Birthday parties could be a backyard gathering with a home made cake to renting the community center and catering. Only you can know if you're being economical or justifying a splurge on one thing after another. But I still think finding ways to cut expenses is the quickest and surest path.
You already sound pretty tight on time. I think a second job is what will be miserable.
(I'm hoping this isn't going to be one of those threads where the OP is looking for a purple unicorn, asking for advice and then shooting down every single idea suggested.)
I wasn't trying to prove frugal vs. extravagant. That discussion could be a whole thread in and of itself. If you really want to discuss details I could get into some on DM, but it won't be exciting lol. We're somewhere between the two. Overall, everything about our lifestyle is pretty standard middle class and on par with the area we live, though we travel, go out, and eat out less than peers.
Small addendums to the vague points:
We pay ~$400 / month combined for the entire family to do martial arts 5-6 days / week. One of my sons also plays football which is a couple hundred dollars to sign up and another $100 or so / month to watch the games. We had to buy gear for martial arts, but we got some, including the punching bag, for cheap on Marketplace, and got off-brand for the rest.
The most extravagant thing about our birthday parties is a rented bouncy house, which is typical for their age range in this area. Unfortunately, being vegan, our cakes are ridiculously expensive and my wife doesn't bake. I'm probably going to try making the next one.
I invest 8% of my income in the 401k to get the company matching.
We put away $150 / kid / month for college with the intent of growing that later.
Neither investment is even big enough, let alone too large.
The point of saving for college isn't so they can "get in", it's so they can get out without a lifetime's worth of crippling debt. I fully expect college to cost around $100k / year a decade from now and they won't receive any need-based aid with my income. They might get some big scholarships with their intelligence or skills, but I'd rather not put the pressure on them to have near-perfect high school grades and activities lists just to afford to continue their education.
Obviously, I'd love a purple unicorn job (God, I hate those yellow unicorns!) but I'm not expecting one. There's got to be other people who need temporary night & weekend jobs to make ends meet, so figured I'd ask what some of the best ones are and how to find them. There are some good suggestions on this thread that I will pursue.
It seems like my best bet is to piece together odd-jobs, which I was hoping to avoid, but people gave ideas how to find them, which helps. I might look into something like bartending or waiting as well, but I imagine it'll be hard to get the timeslots I need when first starting out. I was hoping to find something software related, but nothing popped up here and my previous attempts primarily yielded gems like "write a clone of Clash of Clans with x, y, and z changes for $500".
Your wife wants to have these fancy parties, & expensive cakes. It sounds to me, like you need to have a good chat. right now you don't seem to be on the same page, as each other, about trimming expenses. Does she work? Getting a second job will drain you. Plus you will miss some of your kids games. Good luck with whatever you decide.
The problem did not start last week. You are simply overspending. And a $200 weekend band aide job is not going to make any difference.
You and the wife need a talk. Not a please honey but hard facts. You cannot continue to spend more than comes in.
Your post #1 with all your wants and do not haves - when do you plan to work a second job? What tangible skills do you have?
Your say you work IT and in a small niche but have not done any upgrading of your skills for years. Worst case scenario - get laid off. What is Plan A and what is Plan B?
You are so cash strapped that you have 10k of credit card debt but wife needs to go on clubbing weekends, family needs martial arts classes, ... ?
How vegan is the family really? There is no reason for over processed junk food just because the label reads vegan and wife/kids do not like most veggies. Eat normal or learn to cook and bake. How old are your kids? How is this affecting their current eating/social habits and health? How about their future?
FIL has a room in your house?
If your wife is overwhelmed now what will she be if the house of cards crashes?
Set a budget, keep track of every penny for three months so you at lease have an idea where things are going. Look at selling the house and renting for a while. Unless both of you work together nothing will change but the numbers.
I agree that we all work hard enough, but I'd rather work an extra 10-20 hours a week to go on dates with my wife and take my kids to a ballgame than use that time to watch tv.
This isn't realistic. I believe you said you already work full time, and adding another 10-20 hours a week to that is huge. Throw in a few more hours for travel/commuting. You're going to burn out and just won't have the energy for a date or taking the kids out. They'll be going out on your dime while you're asleep. I'd completely rethink your family's needs and priorities. Sacrifices can definitely be made.
I get what the OP means. Well, maybe not from a budget standpoint...but just to have something else.
I applied to see if I could work at the drive in movie theatre. I like films and I like them on the big screen...even as my wife and kids tell me its dumb to pay so much money for them. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to work after hours at the drive in movie theatre. Oh, and no management for me please. I want the same expectations as those dudes getting high in the corner, but I'll do my job well. Unfortunately, with the last movies starting at 2:30 or so it wasn't going to work for me, but it was worth checking out.
Working in a museum could be fun as well. But I haven't explored it.
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(God, I hate those yellow unicorns!) but I'm not expecting one. There's got to be other people who need temporary night & weekend jobs to make ends meet, so figured I'd ask what some of the best ones are and how to find them. There are some good suggestions on this thread that I will pursue. 
