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Got an offer from a Co. in Fla.. They want me to start Sept. 1. Family will not be able to come until Sept. of '10. More $, more responsibility and the facility is brand new.
Is it worth being away from the family that long, we should be able to fly back and forth maybe every month or so.
Would it be a gamble to discuss the offer with my current emloyer and explain my prefrence is to stay with them and ask if there are any open positions or positions coming up that I would be in line for?
Looking to see what others would do given the situation I am faced with.
Any other suggestions would be helpful also.
Got an offer from a Co. in Fla.. They want me to start Sept. 1. Family will not be able to come until Sept. of '10. More $, more responsibility and the facility is brand new.
Is it worth being away from the family that long, we should be able to fly back and forth maybe every month or so.
Would it be a gamble to discuss the offer with my current emloyer and explain my prefrence is to stay with them and ask if there are any open positions or positions coming up that I would be in line for?
Looking to see what others would do given the situation I am faced with.
Any other suggestions would be helpful also.
I am afraid nobody can answer this for you, it's your family and your life.
I relocated for a new job a while back leaving my wife 850 miles away for 20 months because she worked for state government and needed the 20 more months for retirement at 60 purposes. Every 3 day weekend would find me leaving on a Friday afternoon and heading back Monday at 6:00 pm, driving all night long getting back just in time for a shower and work. She earned four weeks vacation every year and would fly down to spend 10 days with me every three months.
It was hard but in the end we feel it was very well worth it. At 60, which isn't far away, she will begin to draw a small pension but the big one is we both get medical coverage at greatly reduced rates and seeing as how one of us as a preexisting medical condition.... yeah, it was worth it for us.
I live in Florida, my husband works in NJ. He telecommutes from here a week or so each month. Last year he spent about 110 nights in Florida, the rest in NJ.
My neighbor's wife has been unable to find employment here for over four years, and is still in Chicago. Telecommuting isn't an option for her. She's here a long weekend every three months or so, and a full week a couple of times a year.
My other neighbor's wife is in Houston working since early January when her job decided she could no longer telecommute 75% of the time and had to work in Houston.
Another couple I know from the area are newlyweds and shes working in Boston because that's the only place she could find employment in her field.
It's actually pretty common for people from here to work up north or vice versa, and you'll see a lot of guys (and some women) on the same flight every Friday and Sunday night as they head home for a couple of days. Flights from here to BDL are pretty cheap, and there's no reason you couldn't head home a couple times a month for a weekend. It's very doable, and more common than you'd think.
Just be carefull cause I knew a couple who did this for a while and they ultimately got a divorce because as she put it ,it was not working for them .I thought for sure they knew what they were doing but guessed wrong . I would say only do it if your marriage is strong and can stand it . good luck I know jobs are hard to come by but at the same time you must weigh the good and the bad .
In addition to making the occassional trip home to see family, there are several other things you can do to stay connected. Set up your computer with a web cam and have family get togethers on line. Send your family gifts. They do not have to cost much. Send handwritten letters once in a while.
In addition to making the occassional trip home to see family, there are several other things you can do to stay connected. Set up your computer with a web cam and have family get togethers on line. Send your family gifts. They do not have to cost much. Send handwritten letters once in a while.
My brother-in-law is currently working two states away from where they live. He leaves Sunday night after dinner and drives to the area he's working in, and then returns home Friday night after work. He uses a web cam set up and talks to his kids for a couple of hours every night.
Just be carefull cause I knew a couple who did this for a while and they ultimately got a divorce because as she put it ,it was not working for them .I thought for sure they knew what they were doing but guessed wrong . I would say only do it if your marriage is strong and can stand it . good luck I know jobs are hard to come by but at the same time you must weigh the good and the bad .
My guess is they didn't have a strong marriage to begin with. If it came down to staying here or saving my marriage, I'd be moving to Alaska if I had to.
My brother-in-law is currently working two states away from where they live. He leaves Sunday night after dinner and drives to the area he's working in, and then returns home Friday night after work. He uses a web cam set up and talks to his kids for a couple of hours every night.
That would work.
I knew one family where the husband worked out of town for eight years leaving every Sunday night for an eight hour drive to Washington then come back on Friday.. an eight hour drive.
We did it for nearly two years and it got real old but was worth it.
Regarding the part about checking with your current employer - there's one tricky part. If you have that conversation now, and they say no, they might decide to cut you loose now - and September 1 is a long way off. You'd better be entirely certain about the new job between now and then - will the company be bought out, will the new facility be ready, etc. You don't want to get canned from your current job only to find out that the new job never materializes - it might be better to wait until August to talk to the current company, which might result in burning a bridge with the new company if you decide to stay put.
Also, consider the long-term prospects at each job, and figure how many round-trips you'd be likely to take over the next year, and consider that when looking at the financial picture.
This is an extremely opinionated subject! Some older people would say "no way, my family is the most important thing in my life", while some other people would say, "no big deal, go ahead and do it". Thing is, can you and your wife handle the "separation due to job" thing?
Another problem with this is, cheating can happen easily. Not saying it will, but it can and most likely has happened to many couples ending in divorce. This situation is really all up to you and your wife AND can your marriage handle it!!??
No way my wife and I could and we wouldn't......end of story!
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