Seeking a long lost family (Oak Grove, Campbell: live in, best, tree)

[abesperat]

Have you ever looked around a family gathering and thought "I must have taken after the other half of the family?" Do you have any idea how it feels to look into a mirror and see that you don't look much like your half siblings? Or to tell your doctor that you have no idea what kind of diseases are lurking around your family tree because one half is blank?

Well unfortunately I've been doing that for most of my life. I have a big blank spot concerning anything to do with my biological father and rather than weaken with age, my desire to get information about that side of my parentage has strengthened with each year.

My mother and her family have been very secretive about my father, and at one point I was told he was dead so I needed to just forget about him. All I have is a name (may or may not be his real name) and where he worked in March of 1973. A man named Charles Patrick (Pat) Patterson who worked at Harmon Electronics in 1972-73 and was friends with the Campbell family in Oak Grove, MO.

I won't lie to you or myself and say I don't want to meet him, because if he's alive I'd really want to see him. I would however be happy with just some general information such as: Is he alive? Did he have any other children? Do I have any aunts, uncles, cousins? These are all questions I've been asking myself since I found my birth certificate at age 8 and realized that my life was a lie.

If you have any information about this family, please let them know that someone has desperately been hoping to contact them for decades.

Sincerely,
Anna

[abesperat]

Let me add that I would be happy just finding a friend of his or the family.

[kcmama]

So, here's what you have to go on:

-possibly named Charles "Pat" Patterson

-Harmon Electronics

-Campbell family

-Oak Grove

This is quite a bit to go on, actually. I would start by taking an honest look at your mother's family in order to figure out why they might not approve of him. Is there a particular group of people they wouldn't approve of? If so, that could be a clue. For example, if they are bigots, your father might be black. If they are devout Christians, he might be a Jew or Muslim. You get the idea.

Next, I would go to Harmon if they are still in business. If they aren't, I'm sure you could find someone who worked there at that time. Tell that person your situation and the name, but let them know the name might be false. But I would look into anyone who worked there and had any form of Pat or Charles in their name. Ask them if they can think of anyone whose actions might have fit your timeline - maybe there was someone who suddenly left town around the time of your birth. Maybe they can recall someone talking about their girlfriend's family not approving of the relationship. Or someone who had gotten their girlfriend pregnant.

Then I would go to Oak Grove and do the same thing. Look for the Campbell family. Do you have any first names to go on? Is this family prominent in the Oak Grove area? If not, start asking around for anyone by that last name who was there around 72-73. If that's a dead end, start asking around about someone possibly named Charles or pat who got a girl pregnant around that time. Or suddenly left town around that time. Ask around about your mother's family.

I know some of this sounds crazy, but I used to do this type of investigating for my job. You will be very surprised at what these old-timers can remember. Keep in mind that entertainment was much more limited in those days. Much of their entertainment was gossiping about others! Any type of scandal was a very big deal. If you ask the right person, they WILL remember the guy who got a girl pregnant and left or was forbidden to see her!

When you get to the area, look for a local diner/cafe where lots of old-timers hang out. I used to do this all the time. Never failed! Walk in and announce that you are looking for someone who worked at Harmon...or a Campbell...or someone who remembers Charles Pat Patterson...or remembers your mother.

If all this and your internet research fails, it might be time to hire an investigator. Best of luck! Please keep us posted!

[abesperat]

Still at a dead end. Mums the word from any family members or family friends when I ask for any further information. Not sure what's behind the stonewalling or why everyone is keeping it so hush hush.

[abesperat]

Still searching

[MLSFan]

Are you sure it wasn't a fake person? I can't remember the story but I heard it on NPR I think, where someone didn't know who the mother was, Raised by his aunt all his life and no one in the family would tell anything about it. On the death bed, the aunt finally told him the truth that she was his mother but the family opposed the father so they all kept fact hidden all his life. Or something like that, it was about a year or so ago so memory isn't that great.

Just saying, if the family all knows the story but keeps stonewalling, there might be a "family" secret more than a "missing" person...

[ikare]

7,861 people live in Oak Grove, Missouri. I found 12 people with the last name Campbell in Oak Grove on YP.com - Yellow Pages, the new yellowpages.com (click on Find People in upper left hand corner, then Find Person, leave first name blank, then type in last name Campbell, Oak Grove and MO, then click on the Magnifying Glass and the 12 people with Campbell as the last name will appear. Call all the ones with the phone numbers. Tell them your story. I am sure at least half the people will hear you out and who knows, may know your dad!

I had someone call me once because of my name. I was not who they were looking for, but I did tell the person that I knew of someone with my name that lived in the same city (Tampa) and she had an arrest record. It was just a little bit of information and since you are looking in a smaller town, you may find a lot of information . . .

[denverian]

I'm in a similar situation. My bio father left my mother and me when I was 1 year old, so I have no memory of him, but did find out he died young at age 42.

It doesn't bother me and I couldn't care less. He was some alcoholic loser who took off. Plenty of people are adopted and never know even one side of their family.

[abesperat]

Back at square one...

[moxiegal]

Things can be good and/or bad about the family secret.
Have you had a DNA test run on yourself? They are more affordable now.
I ask this because it might help with alot of things. Even if you don't use that information right now. Or...it could tell you more than you were looking for about your parentage.