fitting in with friendly people in tri-cities? (fit in, house)

[speedywriter]

Having spent a bit of time now researching your state for possible relocation, I have a question regarding the "friendly people" reference I've been hearing; you know, "The people are friendly here, and if you're friendly too, you should fit in."

My question is, will someone who is friendly but very private fit in?

Obviously, this is a question only I can answer definitively, after much visiting and interacting with people. Your thoughts would give a great first indicator, though, if you'd be kind enough to share them.

Thanks very much.

[JMT]

Originally Posted by speedywriter

Having spent a bit of time now researching your state for possible relocation, I have a question regarding the "friendly people" reference I've been hearing; you know, "The people are friendly here, and if you're friendly too, you should fit in."

My question is, will someone who is friendly but very private fit in?

Obviously, this is a question only I can answer definitively, after much visiting and interacting with people. Your thoughts would give a great first indicator, though, if you'd be kind enough to share them.

Thanks very much.

I think you'll do just fine. I'm a friendly person, but I'm also intensely private. My neighbors are friendly to me but also respect my privacy.

[LauraC]

Originally Posted by speedywriter

Having spent a bit of time now researching your state for possible relocation, I have a question regarding the "friendly people" reference I've been hearing; you know, "The people are friendly here, and if you're friendly too, you should fit in."

My question is, will someone who is friendly but very private fit in?

What exactly does friendly but very private mean? Is it like:

1. I've got bodies buried in the basement so leave me alone at my house but I'll say "hi" to you at the grocery store.

2. I'll wave from my car but don't expect me to put on any clothes if you come to my door.

3. I am not that roadside killer on America's Most Wanted so if you break down, I'll gladly help you change your tire...just don't stare at me, okay?

4. How can I plan my jihad and/or cook my meth and/or beat by wife if you keep coming to my door inviting me to church? smilie face, smilie face



But seriously, what do you hope people won't do? Friendly but very private might mean something different in different parts of the country.

[hiknapster]

What would I do without you to start off my morning right, Laura C? Now, I'm off to work in a very chipper mood!

[mbmouse]

You guys crack me up!
Speedywritter, If you are looking to live in the Tri-Cities area, you should be fine. It isn't Mayberry but it isn't NY City either. Check out clerks will say hello and can be chatty (some are anyway) the waiter at your favorite restaurant will remember your name, someone will slow down and wave you in if you are trying to merge into traffic, someone will ask if you have found a church of choice yet when they know you are new to town and invite you to theirs. But other than those nice little things that can make someones day, you can keep to your self here if you so choose. It is big enough to be anonymous. Now if you want to be more "interactive" there are bunches of organizations and places to volunteer to meet people.
I hope that answered your question some?

[speedywriter]

Originally Posted by JMT

I think you'll do just fine. I'm a friendly person, but I'm also intensely private. My neighbors are friendly to me but also respect my privacy.

I'm glad to hear from you, JMT. I've read your posts, and I respect your intelligence. Thank you.

[speedywriter]

Originally Posted by LauraC

What exactly does friendly but very private mean? Is it like:

1. I've got bodies buried in the basement so leave me alone at my house but I'll say "hi" to you at the grocery store.

2. I'll wave from my car but don't expect me to put on any clothes if you come to my door.

3. I am not that roadside killer on America's Most Wanted so if you break down, I'll gladly help you change your tire...just don't stare at me, okay?

4. How can I plan my jihad and/or cook my meth and/or beat by wife if you keep coming to my door inviting me to church? smilie face, smilie face



But seriously, what do you hope people won't do? Friendly but very private might mean something different in different parts of the country.

Ha! Not quite

[speedywriter]

(

Originally Posted by mbmouse

You guys crack me up!
Speedywritter, If you are looking to live in the Tri-Cities area, you should be fine. It isn't Mayberry but it isn't NY City either. Check out clerks will say hello and can be chatty (some are anyway) the waiter at your favorite restaurant will remember your name, someone will slow down and wave you in if you are trying to merge into traffic, someone will ask if you have found a church of choice yet when they know you are new to town and invite you to theirs. But other than those nice little things that can make someones day, you can keep to your self here if you so choose. It is big enough to be anonymous. Now if you want to be more "interactive" there are bunches of organizations and places to volunteer to meet people.
I hope that answered your question some?

You did answer my question, mbmouse, and thanks for responding. I've read your posts, and I appreciate your nice, diplomatic touch with people.

And just to add some clarification to my original question, by "private" I don't actually mean avoiding people; I just mean having my boundaries respected, as I respect those of others'. For example, other than neighbors perhaps welcoming me as someone new to the area or needing something, I don't have an open-door policy at my house. In other words, I do not prefer drop-in visits. That's not because I'm hiding something in the basement It's just because I really value my peace and quiet, getting so little of that here in the rat race. However, I know many people consider that kind of visiting being friendly.

As another example, I don't feel comfortable being asked personal questions before I've developed a certain comfort level with a person. In other words, I prefer not to be asked, "Where do you church?" by someone I'm meeting for the first time. I understand many people consider that kind of questioning to be showing concern and being friendly, but I find it a little intrusive.

When either example arises, I respond as diplomatically as possible because I don't like to be rude, but then I may reduce contact with that person in the future. So would that be considered unfriendly and therefore not fitting in?

[hiknapster]

Speedywriter:

You got some great answers, but you are still concerned. I wonder why that is. Maybe you just don't want to offend anyone, which is very nice. We had someone from California on this forum awhile back that REALLY didn't want anyone approaching her about going to church.

Are people in California a phony friendly? Is that what has all of you worried? I have to say that 99 percent of the people here are really just nice. I mean for real nice. Does that make you feel better?

[JMT]

Originally Posted by speedywriter

I'm glad to hear from you, JMT. I've read your posts, and I respect your intelligence. Thank you.

Thanks so much! That really made my day!

And I think what the others on here have said is true; people really are genuinely nice here, but they'll also respect your privacy as long as you're not rude to them. For example, if one of your friendly neighbors asks you what church you attend, don't say something like "It's none of your business," but say something like, "I prefer to worship on my own, but if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."

I had lunch today with a couple of Mormon missionaries. They live in my neighborhood, and I wanted them to have some really good Tennessee BBQ. I asked them how people treat them. They said that even though 95% of the people really don't want to talk to them, people are nice about it; very few people actually slam doors in their faces.

I guess the lesson is: as long as you're polite to others, they'll be polite to you. And as long as you respect your neighbors' desire to be friendly to you, they'll respect your desire to be left alone. Just don't forget to wave to them as you're out mowing the lawn.