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Yeah...because having my father, who was by far the main breadwinner in the family, die right after I graduated college and giving whatever savings and credit cards I had at the time to my mother to pay off my father's medical bills (and her having to declare bankruptcy regardless) has shielded me from learning how this so-called 'real world' works. Hence the whole, "she doesn't really mind if I stay there for a while" mentality.
Sorry, sorry...no way for you or anyone else on this board to know that. But I had to get it out there...I hate people questioning my credibility.
But regardless of that, good for you about your house, seriously...can I hire you to give a pep talk to some of my friends who really need it?
-E
My mother dropped dead when I was 16, leaving me, my sister, and 6 year old brother. I dropped out of high school to work and support them, hence the GED. I slept on the floor of our living room for 2 years. I didn't have the luxury of college, someone needed to add income to the house to take care of the younger kids. My dad went bankrupt as well. He was a janitor, then lost his job 3 years later. I used to blame everything on that, but only YOU are responsible for your success. A great teacher I kept in touch with taught me that.
Every time I would lament about not having a car, not having a job, not having a nice place to live because of the circumstance, I would remember there are TONS of people 10x worse off than me. Once I stopped placing the blame on the out of my control death of my mother, I was much, much more successful.
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,939,050 times
Reputation: 1819
Wow, you've been through a lot. That must have been hard. You're right about thinking how others might have it. So many think we have it so bad, when in fact there are people sleeping on the streets everyday with no food at all. When I'm upset, I try to think that it could be a lot worse.
That teacher pushed me with that great advice... I was always "poor me", always blaming my problems on outside things. No one could have given me better advice than "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, only you can change things". It sounded so harsh at the time, but it was true.
My entire family pulled out of that, I have faith that anyone else can if they work hard enough. My sister and I still help support my father and brother. We will have to for years, but that's just the way it is. We will be helping HIM buy an apartment next year (funny, since it's usually the other way around) and I couldn't be happier to help him.
If you have the drive and are willing to put up crap, you can usually get whatever you want. But it won't be easy, you might have to work a higher paying job, with a longer commute, to be able to afford what you want.
That teacher pushed me with that great advice... I was always "poor me", always blaming my problems on outside things. No one could have given me better advice than "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, only you can change things". It sounded so harsh at the time, but it was true.
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Seriously, this is very true for all of us. We all have our negatives in life and we also have our choices. We can choose to work 60 hour weeks and make money instead of being there for our children, we can become lazy and complacent and then blame 'fate,' or we can soldier on and try to make the best choices we can based on what is happening.
I own a home. In Lindenhurst. Yet, I never felt an entitlement to have a home. I'm the first person in my family to be a homeowner, and it was through hard work.
I would LOVE to work at a non-profit with animals. It would be incredibly fulfilling for me. Instead, I work my corporate job so I can pay the bills. It's a trade-off that a lot of people my age (20's), don't want to accept.
Its that nagging yeast infection thats got me down.
C
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