Asian moving to LA - asking about social life (San Gabriel: lease, hotel)

[JTC15]

I am an Asian woman in my early 30's. I have a job offer to work in LA from August this year. I am still considering moving to LA.

I have never been to LA. I visited NYC, Chicago and a couple cities in the East coast. I had a year expat experience on an island awhile ago but it was horrific - not many friends and it's very quiet. It put me off to move to other places. So I'm hesitated about moving to LA.

I'm single thus I would like to make new friends. I used to live in a big city and surround by different people. Social life is the main concern for me. Is it easy to make friends in LA? Back to where I spent my expat exp, everyone bought their families with them so I was so bored during weekend when everyone's having family days.

I am not a big fan of drinking. Apart from going to pubs and night clubs, are there anything to do in LA after working hours?

Thank you!

[ElysianEagle]

Depending on where you work, there might be bars around for happy hour. But LA doesn't have a true happy hour scene as such, as in NYC because everyone typically has a longish commute ahead of them.

Makin friends should be easier for you as a woman, because a) women are friendlier than men and b) plenty of guys will be happy to be your buddy. Consider starting with a roommate for the first few months, that might work as well.

I have heard that church is a good way to meet ppl as well.

[DCNita]

Try meetup.com to meet new people. I've joined a couple of groups already. I'm moving to LA this summer. I think you will like LA. When I visited last summer I met so many people. I only came across one ***hole at Venice Beach who was a vendor but other than that my experience was good. I was even stopped by LAPD for a traffic violation but he let me go. I say give LA a chance you might be surprised. You already have a job so why not - you only live once!!

[JTC15]

Originally Posted by DCNita

Try meetup.com to meet new people. I've joined a couple of groups already. I'm moving to LA this summer. I think you will like LA. When I visited last summer I met so many people. I only came across one ***hole at Venice Beach who was a vendor but other than that my experience was good. I was even stopped by LAPD for a traffic violation but he let me go. I say give LA a chance you might be surprised. You already have a job so why not - you only live once!!

Hmmm... it's because of that I moved to the island which gave me a very bad experience. I felt like I wasted 2 years in my life. So I don't really know if I should move to LA if I have to start from scratch without any friends for the next few years again.

[JTC15]

Originally Posted by ElysianEagle

Depending on where you work, there might be bars around for happy hour. But LA doesn't have a true happy hour scene as such, as in NYC because everyone typically has a longish commute ahead of them.

Makin friends should be easier for you as a woman, because a) women are friendlier than men and b) plenty of guys will be happy to be your buddy. Consider starting with a roommate for the first few months, that might work as well.

I have heard that church is a good way to meet ppl as well.

Thanks.

I had a roommate in my 2 years on the island - an alcoholic. I signed the lease thus I couldn't leave without finding someone to replace me but everyone knew he's an alcoholic. I ended up staying with him but barely met him once a week!

I'm sorry for venting. I just need to know how life could possibly be in LA. I lived abroad in Europe in my teen. I know how to live away from home but the island life just put me off from everything. LA is a city, I just hope it will be different.

[eureka1]

Move to the San Gabriel Valley where you will be in the middle of 1.5 million Asians who are prosperous and employed. I have a single friend who lives in San Gabriel and I swear he's never at home between his karaoke group, badminton group etc. Good luck to you.

[thechoson]

You will have NO problems making friends. Doesn't matter if you are an extrovert or introvert. LA is such a huge diverse city. I mean heck I made friends, and I'm probably the biggest introvert ever.

I met some terrific people and some of my better friends while working, so I think that's a big plus that you have a job. If you were coming here without a job and thus without that forced daily social setting, then I'd say it may be an issue.

I know there is the stereotype of LA as you'd see on Entourage or something. Good looking people hitting bars/ clubs and all that. Of course lots of people do that. But lots of people also hang out and meet each other pursuing other hobbies. I've befriended people at the gym and playing poker (a big hobby of mine).

The only minor issue that I doubt applies to you because of your background (but I'll point out anyways), is that I have noticed Asians in LA are pretty insular. I don't mean this in an offensive way, I'm Asian myself. But that was a surprising thing for me when I first moved to LA many years ago as a teenager. A lot of Asians here grew up amongst fellow Asians and many actually spoke their Asian language along with English, ate at Asian restaurants, etc. So I found a lot of Asians that kind of only want to hang out with other Asians and such.

This was difficult for me as I came from a much more racially diverse background, so I actually ended up making a lot more non-Asian friends during my time in LA.

[JTC15]

Originally Posted by thechoson

You will have NO problems making friends. Doesn't matter if you are an extrovert or introvert. LA is such a huge diverse city. I mean heck I made friends, and I'm probably the biggest introvert ever.

I met some terrific people and some of my better friends while working, so I think that's a big plus that you have a job. If you were coming here without a job and thus without that forced daily social setting, then I'd say it may be an issue.

I know there is the stereotype of LA as you'd see on Entourage or something. Good looking people hitting bars/ clubs and all that. Of course lots of people do that. But lots of people also hang out and meet each other pursuing other hobbies. I've befriended people at the gym and playing poker (a big hobby of mine).

The only minor issue that I doubt applies to you because of your background (but I'll point out anyways), is that I have noticed Asians in LA are pretty insular. I don't mean this in an offensive way, I'm Asian myself. But that was a surprising thing for me when I first moved to LA many years ago as a teenager. A lot of Asians here grew up amongst fellow Asians and many actually spoke their Asian language along with English, ate at Asian restaurants, etc. So I found a lot of Asians that kind of only want to hang out with other Asians and such.

This was difficult for me as I came from a much more racially diverse background, so I actually ended up making a lot more non-Asian friends during my time in LA.

Thank you. It's just hard to penetrate into a social group when you're older. I'm not a party type woman. I enjoy drinking a glass of wine in a 5 stars hotel lounge with friends rather than dancing crazily in a night club (been there, done that). Not sure if I can have such life in LA.

I noticed Asian in the US tended to befriend with Asian and spoke their Asian language. Back in Europe we just hang out with different people without any issue.

I'm getting old and it's time to settle down. I would like to have a lovely place where I can make friends with and have my career. Is LA really a place for "forever"?

[DCNita]

Originally Posted by JTC15

Hmmm... it's because of that I moved to the island which gave me a very bad experience. I felt like I wasted 2 years in my life. So I don't really know if I should move to LA if I have to start from scratch without any friends for the next few years again.

I don't think you're going to have a choice but to do it and see how it goes or stay where you are. No one on this forum can ease your mind because of your past experience. You're going to have to free yourself from that mental burden. I'm moving to LA and I don't know anyone either. I met people while I was there last year on vacation. Try it and if you don't like it you can always go back home. There are so many people that want to move to LA and cannot because they don't have a job or money. There are some who go to LA without a job and end up finding employment because moving to LA was so important to them. Be grateful that if you don't like it you will still have a job and a place to go back to. In my opinion your risk is low.

If you want to see LA go on youtube and watch some videos. You can also use google maps to literally walk the streets of LA - that's what I did before I went last year and that helped me get a feel for where I would be staying. Go to meetup.com and join some of the groups. They get together and do activities such as hiking, traveling, concerts, etc. together. There's a group I found for people new to LA. If you want be around people of your same culture I'm sure there are some Asian groups you can join as well. There are groups for people in their 30's, 40's, etc. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[thechoson]

Originally Posted by JTC15

Thank you. It's just hard to penetrate into a social group when you're older. I'm not a party type woman. I enjoy drinking a glass of wine in a 5 stars hotel lounge with friends rather than dancing crazily in a night club (been there, done that). Not sure if I can have such life in LA.

I noticed Asian in the US tended to befriend with Asian and spoke their Asian language. Back in Europe we just hang out with different people without any issue.

I'm getting old and it's time to settle down. I would like to have a lovely place where I can make friends with and have my career. Is LA really a place for "forever"?

I think LA is a fine place to settle down. Like any other place it has its ups and downs, so it definitely won't hurt that you try it out and see if you like it. Lots of people do !

With your diverse background, seems like you'd be ok settling down elsewhere if it doesn't work out, so not much to lose I'd say.

And you know honestly, most of my friends my age (early 30s) in LA also seem to be slowly growing out of the whole night club scene. They just hang out with people with like interests. Some people are into Church so meet a lot of friends and do social events through that. Some people like to hike, and meet friends and do that. Some people are into wine tasting, so do that. People go out to eat at nice restaurants, play golf, have poker nights, whatever.

So again, LA is such a huge and diverse city that I don't see you having any problems meeting like-minded people to pursue your hobbies and interests with.

LA is not just a city where you go drinking in K-Town, hit up the club, then do karaoke, and then catch a 3 AM burrito. I NEVER did that at any age, and I was still fine and enjoyed LA immensely.