Need Help With 14 Year Old Nephew

[TJANKSB]

I have to agree with Tesage about putting your 3 yr-old in the same room with the 14 year old boy. It is asking for trouble. I have 4 kids, 2 boy and two girls. I, too, am having difficulties with my boys, especially the 14 year old. Thankfully, my oldest, is my girl. Anyway, my situation is dealing with my own flesh and blood and I am seriously considering putting him into a boys' home because his behavior is thoroughly unacceptable and he is influencing my 11 year old boy. My husband, who is his stepfather, has had about all he can take of him and wants him out of the house. I, as his mother, am trying to give him chance after chance and don't want to see him hurt if he goes to some boys home, but he is literally tearing my family apart. He is not as bad as your nephew, with the blatant disrespect, but it's still there in his actions. You need to talk to your husband and really put your foot down and please, please get your daughter out of that room with him. I hope you don't let him babysit her either. I don't let my own son watch my 2 year old because he is just not trust worthy. Put your daughter in your room with your husband and put the stop on the marriage relations until he (your husband) sees that something needs to be done about the nephew and if that doesn't help, get out of the marriage or you will end up with a daughter that is messed up and/or sexually abused by that 14 year old.

[Karon and Tom]

First I never heard anyone talk about taking the child to church, most times a child will act out because they feel unloved, well guess what if I was a teenager and my parents both did not want anything to do with me I would be pist too. Also, you need to pray hard for this child. He seems to be use to acting in a negative mannor and getting his way from this. Which is a bad thing all together,
Talking with your husband is important, don't allow this child to screw up your life. He has learned to split people so one is on his side & the other is not. Play his game against him. While your husband is working find a small tape recorder and record the things he does & says while your husband is not home so that your husband can see what you & your daughter is going through. Then sit down and talk to the boy and don't go off and buy anything else, treat it like as if you were an employer and he the employee, say if you want new things then you will work for it. To get the new shoes clean your room, wash dishes, vacuum the living room. Once the work is complete then buy the shoes, now keep the old shoes as well and when he begins to mess up or act out then slowly take the newer things away one at a time untill he sees that he must behave properly. Talking with your husband is best, I can see how he don't want to turn his bach on the child, maybe your husband once felt unloved just as sees the child feels.
hope this helps in some small way. Take care!
Karon

[vanyali]

Two words: boarding school. Feel free to substitute "military" for "boarding". And send the bill to his parents.

[Y-Man]

L&H: The answer is simple, but hard: It's your apartment, he's a problem, send him back to his family, and don't accept "no" for an answer from your husband.

[gypsywitch]

This part really upsets me, this boy has no business sharing a room with 3 year old little girl ! I do beleive there are laws about this, I feel for your situation, i really do, the boy has problems and needs professional help, or a good oldfashioned woodshed, Your husband should be ashamed of himself, for his behaviour to you and his daughter, there are ways to help this young man, with out putting so much stress on the rest of the family, if he wants to help his nephew then he should help ! Not expect you to do it all. sounds to me like he still has some growing up to do also i wish you much luck dear, you certainly need it !