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It seems in our American society, that we are bombarded with pressure to do more, make our numbers, meet deadlines, cut costs, do the house work, raise children, meet family obligations, make more money ect... It can be a lot to take in and the pressures can seem overwelming and can certainly take their toll on your relationships if gone unchecked.
I think that we are in the age of endlessly "doing". But are we doing what really counts? In ten years will you look back on your life and say, "Wow in November of 2011 I met my financial goal for my company (that I'm not even working for anymore), I got all my work in by 5 pm on Monday, I got my children to school on time, I kept my house in perfect condition," ect... Or will you look back and say "Wow I remember November 2011 because that was the month I slowed down. I sponsored a family for the holidays, I went caroling with my children for the first time. That was the month I looked around at my surroundings as if I was there for the first time. I got out of my head and I observed what was going on around me. I watched the trees and felt their life giving energy, I looked at the sky in amazement. I breathed in life as a gift and I gave it back to a stranger through a smile."
Stress is blocked energy that will do much damage to your relationships and reek havock on your body. We hold this energy and sometimes it gets "stuffed" down only to explode out at the right moment through road rage, yelling, or physical violence. Most of the time when we have these "outbursts" it has little to do with the direct activity and much more to do with what happened to you earlier on during the day or even weeks before.
We can learn to manage the negative energy and release it through proper techniques. Sometimes we try to self medicate to make it "go away" such as excessive alcohol consumption or sex. This only is effective for the time involved as after it is over the stress comes back, often with greater force. It becomes an endless cycle of stress, medicate, back to stress again. If stress is wearing you down, it's time to slow down and gain a new prospective.
A healthier way to deal with stress is by releasing it rather than covering it up. Pick up a pen and write, talk to a friend or counselor about it but most importantly learn how to breathe again. Breathing helps the body slow down and helps the mind to stop the endless chatter. It is our life force and we rarely utilize it for this benefit. Most of the time we are unconscious of our breathing. When you bring awareness to your breath you create space in an otherwise cramped space. Breathe in for 4-6 seconds,hold for one and breathe out. Take long, slow breaths. Do this a few times during the day, especially when demands for your time and energy are running high.
The demands on our time and energy are not going to go away. It is our job to manage this energy and channel it out or transmute it so that it does not get trapped in our bodies and get the best of us.
The demands on our time and energy are not going to go away. It is our job to manage this energy and channel it out or transmute it so that it does not get trapped in our bodies and get the best of us.
Correct. They're not going away.
We already know that money is just about the #1 cause of problems in a relationship. A man needs to be mostly happy on two major fronts (1) Money (2) Sex. I am thoroughly convinced that when a man in good health is having problems with employment or with his job, everything else in his life suffers, stress increases. (This doesn’t include men who don’t want to work in the first place.)
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A healthier way to deal with stress is by releasing it rather than covering it up. Pick up a pen and write, talk to a friend or counselor about it but most importantly learn how to breathe again. Breathing helps the body slow down and helps the mind to stop the endless chatter. It is our life force and we rarely utilize it for this benefit. Most of the time we are unconscious of our breathing. When you bring awareness to your breath you create space in an otherwise cramped space. Breathe in for 4-6 seconds,hold for one and breathe out. Take long, slow breaths. Do this a few times during the day, especially when demands for your time and energy are running high.
Men bottle up what's going on with them most of the time. In addition to what you're saying, working out is usually a good stess reliever. Sex can be a stress reliever as well. If you are having behavioral issues with your man, see if he has issues with his job/employment, or money. If he's not getting the job done, his energy is diverted from the relationship or family--i.e., those precious numbers he knows he needs to meet--those demands of his energy, and time.
It seems in our American society, that we are bombarded with pressure to do more, make our numbers, meet deadlines, cut costs, do the house work, raise children, meet family obligations, make more money ect... It can be a lot to take in and the pressures can seem overwelming and can certainly take their toll on your relationships if gone unchecked.
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Originally Posted by moonsavvy
We can learn to manage the negative energy and release it through proper techniques. Sometimes we try to self medicate to make it "go away" such as excessive alcohol consumption or sex. This only is effective for the time involved as after it is over the stress comes back, often with greater force. It becomes an endless cycle of stress, medicate, back to stress again. If stress is wearing you down, it's time to slow down and gain a new prospective.
It is a common misconception that money isn’t emotional. It is, and people spend money for all sorts of reasons, especially to relieve stress, escape some sort of pain in their life, or to relieve boredom. This is why meeting your baseline numbers is critical to not only your financial health, but to the health of all the relationships in your life. Some people will hide financial difficulties in order to keep up the appearance that nothing is amiss. The last thing they want to do is let down their significant other or family. They might then lie about it and, as lies go, it snowballs and other problems arise and the stress can bleed into some of the following: drinking, drugs, arguments, cheating, general bad mood, depression, racking up of credit card debt, even porn use, etc. Not all relationship problems have to do with money, but quite a few do.
Right now, we are in a tremendous shift in global power, a lot of it political and economic, whether we like it or not. The world is catching up to America. Technology is mobile, and everywhere. Now, I understand what you’re getting at: we work too much; we focus too much on material goods. This is true. However, you also have to understand that the cost of, say, running a family, continues to rise. Remember when gas was .99 cents a gallon? I do.
I see threads all of the time where women complain about something in the relationship, or they get really upset when the man loses his job and can’t get another one. In my experience, most people don’t care about the numbers and that’s why the world is drowning in debt. There is more pressure today than there was in the past; the younger generation has more to deal with than ever before. We aren’t going to have the cushions that past generations had: relying on social security, pensions, well-paying jobs w/no education. So, unfortunately, the numbers are more important than ever. The whole, “Go outside and play and don’t come back until the sun comes home” world our grandparents knew is a thing of the past. Grandpa got paid $30 plus beanies, your son will get $14 if he’s lucky and is facing a work environment laced with layoffs and/or quick firings. Add in student loan debt and you’re playing catch-up. You are now competing with people globally for jobs. Also, a disconnected social fabric, feminism, the disappearance of dating, 50% divorce rate, two parents working out of necessity, and even then they may fall into the two-earner income trap.
I am making a lot of economic points with this post, but again, money is just about problem numero uno in relationships. As I said, I am thoroughly convinced a man is out-of-sync without good work, and the job market no longer favors the simple man's world. I favor a simpler life and I do think you are slowly starting to see things get back to that a little bit, but at the same time, and while you can still get ahead, you need to stay on top of your game at all times. To not do so is foolish, unless, of course, you are already comfortable financially or are content with a more bare-bones existence.
The demands on our time and energy are not going to go away. It is our job to manage this energy and channel it out or transmute it so that it does not get trapped in our bodies and get the best of us.
Most of the demands are self imposed. Wouldn't it be easier to manage your life rather than manage your stress?
Most of the demands are self imposed. Wouldn't it be easier to manage your life rather than manage your stress?
Yes. Going straight to the cause, not the symptoms.
OP, great post and thank you for writing it. Here is how I managed my life this year. I decided that relationships were more important than activities, things and money (oh, and points). All of the sudden, options opened up for me.
My daughter loves Winnie the Pooh and I can see why, relationships. They are the kind that I dreamed of as a child but never seemed to experience.
This is a great topic moon!! I have found myself to deal with stress by becoming much more isolated.. I don't talk to people anymore that much (except kids/hubby), canceled my gym membership, and other things.. Sometimes I gaze out my back window which is nothing but open desert with no fence and I wish I could hike away from all of my stress lol
Most of the demands are self imposed. Wouldn't it be easier to manage your life rather than manage your stress?
Yes, although I would say create your life. We have the power to live how we envision. Most people in our society are letting stress get the best of them though and it inhibits their quality of life.
Also I understand what you are saying, and I appreciate your insight. I will add that I think people need to manage their stress before they can take conscious control of their lives.
Last edited by moonsavvy; 11-27-2011 at 11:54 AM..
I just wrote about managing bi polar , in another post, with exercise lol
For me exercise and isolation are the best for stress
Glad to hear you are managing it.
If you are choosing to isolate, make sure you are still in contact on a regular basis with someone who will listen. Support group, counselor or trusted friend.
Here's to a beautiful year with more peace and prosperity than the previous one.
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