Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You conveniently left off the rest of my post. I said my mother is alone, pushes people away - talks relentlessly behind their back, I didn't add - and then complains that she has no friends or family.
I also said some people like to complain about negative people all the darn time, which is negative in itself.
I chose to respond to your first general comment about negative people, not the bit about your mother specifically, because she is only one example among many, who may have different reasons for being negative about people, and some people just don't want to know anyone for some reason.
But as you added it, in her case we see she actively hates people, but obviously does want to have friends because otherwise she wouldn't complain about not having any.
My point still stands that some people do not like being around people and prefer their own company (these may be perceived as "negative people" by others), even if your mother isn't one of them.
That is why I responded to the first sentence of your post. Because that statement was a general one, and the rest was about your mother. But not all negative people are in the same situation as your mother. So I just expanded that perhaps many of them just don't want to know anyone even if your mother does.
Still it sounds like she doesn't value you very much. That has evidently been difficult to live with.
Last edited by Weatherfan2; 01-04-2012 at 05:20 PM..
I got you Weatherfan2. Thank you for clarifying that. I truly appreciate it. Also, thank you for understanding and validating my feelings. That was very kind.
In my mother's case - and only her case - I am almost positive she doesn't actually want friends. Everything she has done in the 50 years I have known her shows that having friends just isn't her thing. That's fine. I truly understand that. However, I am positive that she likes complaining about not having friends, too. I think she likes it a lot.
I don't think people that don't want friends are negative. On the contrary. They find something they don't like and make sure they don't do it. That's a positive response. I don't like wrestling so I don't watch it, talk about it, avoid it. That's taking steps to make sure I don't go around something that I don't like. Now, if I watched it on television and then complained about it, that would not only be silly but also very negative.
What I find ironic about my mom is she doesn't want friends or family coming around her. That's fine. But she also relentlessly complains that she has no one to help her in her old age. However, I can offer to move there, offer to move her here, offer to get a family member to help. Nothing doing. But even when she was young I can remember my mother lamenting the fact that she had no family, even while I was a child living under her roof so it isn't just a matter of having a friend or family member needed to help her.
Some people just like to complain. I think you somehow think that this discussion is about you and it is not. It's about negative people.
By the way, I'm an only child and I require a lot of down time, time alone. Although I am quite good at socializing, I really prefer time alone. So I really, really get where you are coming from. I've had a lot of very bad things happen in my life and I've known a lot of people that have done horrific things to me and others. Staying away from others is not, once again, a negative action. Pushing people away and then complaining that no one is in your life is negative and it is negative for the sake of being negative if you can follow that.
Another good example is of a person that I know that constantly complains about everything. If you give her a solution she immediately sets it aside and continues to complain. One time the woman truly had everything going for her for a a few hours. She had not one darn thing to complain about. Know what she did? She went into a panic. Seriously, she had a meltdown. That's someone that is negative and needs to be negative. Maybe it's force of habit but it is now her way of life.
I do find it interesting, though, that you seem to identify with this thread, with negative people. You say you are happy to not be around people - which I really get - but then say you are depressed. Maybe I'm reading more into this but I find it to be curious.
In my experience, people who are negative are negative because they're miserable in life. They usually have some sort of psychiatric disorder (usually depression) that is difficult to treat or isn't being treated at all. I have yet to meet someone negative who doesn't suffer from a psychiatric disorder. Even more interesting is that these people only became negative months after they began suffering from whatever psychiatric disorder they have.
However, I am very negative (a lot of that is due to depression), but at the same time I insist that I'm realistic. I have Asperger's syndrome and I have social anxiety disorder, plus I'm fascinated with pyschology. Because I have never fit in to society (because of my disorders) and because of my interest in psychology, I think I have a very unique outlook on life (or maybe I'm delusional). The reality of it is that this world does suck. People are becoming dumber and ruder. People don't have common sense like they used to have. Everything that I complain about is totally justified because it's realistic. I can't help that it's negative, the world is falling apart and that's not my fault. If everyone behaved like they did prior to 1990 or so, I don't think people would be as negative as they are, because the world wasn't as stupid then as it is now.
I can't figure out why more people aren't negative. There are some people who go merrily through life like it's the most awesome thing in the world and I don't understand that. I can only conclude that ignorance really must be bliss.
By the way, I'm an only child and I require a lot of down time, time alone. Although I am quite good at socializing, I really prefer time alone.
I do find it interesting, though, that you seem to identify with this thread, with negative people. You say you are happy to not be around people - which I really get - but then say you are depressed. Maybe I'm reading more into this but I find it to be curious.
I'm an only child, too. I'd better have my down time, else I get totally quiet, depressed, and even a bit mean. People get on my nerves, being around them daily with their shenanigans and rudeness. Plus, it is difficult to trust people. However, a few I DO trust - a little.
I'm an only child, too. I'd better have my down time, else I get totally quiet, depressed, and even a bit mean. People get on my nerves, being around them daily with their shenanigans and rudeness. Plus, it is difficult to trust people. However, a few I DO trust - a little.
This is funny, because I am the middle child of 7 and I need down time, too. When I was a kid I used to take my book and go hide in the woods and sit under a viney bush (where you couldn't be seen) to read.
My daughter is an only and she also needs her alone time. Yet there are some people who can't seem to stand being alone.
One should be cautious of the use of "negative people / negative person". Certainly, some people may be more pessimistic than others ("Debbie Downer" syndrome). Then, there are some people who view things very black and white (1 + 1 = 2 whether you and I like it or not). Lastly, there are the "negative people/person", who tries to bring negativity, (e.g., hurt, pain, and fear) into someone else's life.
I personally would not classify those with a more pessimistic outlook or more literal stance as negative. Their viewpoints are different from yours...big deal. You may be looked at as irrational for "hoping" for things that are not viable but people still befriend you ;-). True negative people do not mean well in their hearts and that is a completely different plane from a different outlook IMHO.
The obvious answer would be avoid them or cut them out of your life if you're so much better then they are. You can't 'do' anything about the way they think.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 12-02-2012 at 12:55 PM..
Given how bullshiiiit, vapid and cruel society has become, I don't begrudge anyone for having a negative view of how things are. That's far more realistic to me than the way most people tend to bury their heads in the sand or pretend that the human race is so damn great.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
