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I ahve 5 older brothers. I remember when I was little my dad had open heart surgery and after that he was on medication and he was never the same after that. All the years he was just abnormal. Saying things normal dads wouldn't say and on lots of medication. This year it seems to be getting worse. He will read stories or watch movies about vietnam and claims he was a sniper, sargeant, ranger, greenboro in the army. Which the whole he was really a mechanic which we looked up.
He runs a very small cattle farm and he says he manages 5 farms. And whenever my moms friends comeover. He doesn't say hi or anything he just walks up to them and tells him about himself and walks off. He drives an old beat up nissan truck and he put the tags on there farm use which aren't registered he has been pulled over many times and my mom is worried that if he gets in an accident they can be sued. He claims that he has diabetes and that my mom is trying to kill him. And now the truck break is not working but he still wants to drive it down the road to get it fixed which is miles away and he's paying the guy 400 or something and we have told my dad why not buy a used truck which is cheaper but he says he doesn't want out help. And the cattle farm he doesn't know what he is doing how to run a business. He made business with his name on it and with assicates along with it and then put on there president.
One day he changed the tire of his truck and a few minutes later he calls us and tells us that he forgot to put the bolts back on the truck. then yesterday he told my brother that he paid his eletric bill to verison.Everybody down the road or the county knows he's crazy.
And so we kept in touch with his doctor but she cannot tell us hardly anything but she did mention she has notice alot of things about him. And he won't sign the papers because he blames all of his problems on my mom saying she is crazy. finally one of my brothers just started to notice how crazy he is. My dad cussed me out one day and still doesn't remember, claimed that i cursed him out.
Has anybody else dealt with their parents going off the deep end?
Yeah, mom's got a dx of AD. It's not a bit fun to deal with I can tell you. But, if I were you, I'd get a complete list of your dad's meds and take them to a pharmacist and have them look for cross reactions or any meds that could cause dementia symptoms, b/c I believe that I've heard it's the most common cause of dementia that isn't alzheimer's. I've heard stories of people having really bad problems with statin drugs, and I suspect that the tylenol pm that my mom took for years could have accelerated her problems. I've often wondered if the anesthesia of surgery could cause some people problems too, as my ex's g-father became really forgetful after his heart surgery.
My sister told me today that she thinks my Dad might be showing signs of the onset of Alzheimers.
But the thing is, we both realize it's really hard to tell with him, because he was always a bit "off".
When you are dealing with someone like that, it makes it extra hard to determine whether it's dementia, just "normal" for that person.
At the beginning it was hard to tell with mom too b/c it seems like at first the AD intensified some of her more negative personality characteristics. For instance, she's always been a bit on the greedy side and when she began hoarding, it was a natural extension of that. Then she would start to get really paranoid that people were trying to take her stuff from her and she'd say hurtful things to her sister and brother about how they'd better not try to take her stuff and she accused my g-mother of outright stealing. Even my brother, her baby darling, was accused of trying to rip her off. For some strange reason, I was never accused of any of that that I know of, for which I'm thankful b/c I know it was very unsettling for my relatives. We've had to lie to mom about the auction that we had in October to get rid of a large chunk of property that was going to deteriorate if we didn't sell it, or she would really lose her mind. Nowadays she spends a lot of time thinking she's at that other property anyway.
They say that AD causes personality changes early on, but I don't think it's so much that as it is a stripping away of the "social veil" that we all wear to be acceptable, which is probably why you see the negative characteristics with this. I knew someone else who had this and she was the nicest lady you ever could have met, but she turned mean, really mean. Could she have been covering the mean part of her up all those years? That's my theory, but I don't claim to be right.
At the beginning it was hard to tell with mom too b/c it seems like at first the AD intensified some of her more negative personality characteristics. For instance, she's always been a bit on the greedy side and when she began hoarding, it was a natural extension of that. Then she would start to get really paranoid that people were trying to take her stuff from her and she'd say hurtful things to her sister and brother about how they'd better not try to take her stuff and she accused my g-mother of outright stealing. Even my brother, her baby darling, was accused of trying to rip her off. For some strange reason, I was never accused of any of that that I know of, for which I'm thankful b/c I know it was very unsettling for my relatives. We've had to lie to mom about the auction that we had in October to get rid of a large chunk of property that was going to deteriorate if we didn't sell it, or she would really lose her mind. Nowadays she spends a lot of time thinking she's at that other property anyway.
They say that AD causes personality changes early on, but I don't think it's so much that as it is a stripping away of the "social veil" that we all wear to be acceptable, which is probably why you see the negative characteristics with this. I knew someone else who had this and she was the nicest lady you ever could have met, but she turned mean, really mean. Could she have been covering the mean part of her up all those years? That's my theory, but I don't claim to be right.
That is interesting.
In her Nineties, my grandmother, a very religious woman, became angry when she was in a nursing facility after she'd had some surgery because of the "dirty picture" on the door to her room. The nurse was trying to figure out what she was talking about, because there was no picture on the door. Finally she realized that Nana was seeing a penis in the wood grain. LOL.
I'm having that issue with my mother. It's so hard to tell with her because she has been odd her entire life. In fact, I knew someone that went to school with her and said she acted crazy even in high school.
She has never liked anyone, has pushed them all away. She has no friends. She does have some people now circling her because she has money but that's about it. She has had paranoid bouts where she thought someone had bugs or that a wall smelled and she needed to have a new stove. Just really strange things occurred. But for the most part she was functioning. Now though, she is forgetting much, much more. But it is so difficult because she has always been paranoid of people and secretive. I'm an only child and if she were to die I have no idea how to get into her condo let alone what to do.
I've talked to her doctor and he says he can try to give her a test but if she refuses then there is nothing he can do. I should hire a lawyer and get power of attorney but I don't have the money and she knows that.
My husband exhibits odd behavior as well, but he is 42. He does some really odd things such as throw his trash on the floor even though he walks by two large garbage cans. This is in his own business and he will just throw paper, coke bottles, you name it on the ground. He had a pile of trash, about four feet high, on the floor inside the shop. I asked him why he would do such a thing and he doesn't have an answer. He just stares at me or turns away.
His actions don't make sense and he has this odd sense of self, as if he is the most fabulous person in the world, yet his life is crashing down around him. He didn't rake the leaves in the yard for two months and then claimed it was because it was always raining. Far from true but you can't tell him anything. He'll go to sleep with the doors wide open, left small, expensive things in the shop that he could have easily took home and they got stolen. He left a small, hand-held scanner in the shop. I don't mean he forgot it one day. I mean he NEVER took it home, despite my harping. It was worth $12,000 and it is now gone. And no insurance. Of course not.
And absolutely everything that happens to him is my fault. I have no idea what is wrong with him. He's always been strange but it is getting so much worse. And I'm afraid to say too much to people because I'm afraid they will think I am crazy.
I'm having that issue with my mother. It's so hard to tell with her because she has been odd her entire life. In fact, I knew someone that went to school with her and said she acted crazy even in high school.
She has never liked anyone, has pushed them all away. She has no friends. She does have some people now circling her because she has money but that's about it. She has had paranoid bouts where she thought someone had bugs or that a wall smelled and she needed to have a new stove. Just really strange things occurred. But for the most part she was functioning. Now though, she is forgetting much, much more. But it is so difficult because she has always been paranoid of people and secretive. I'm an only child and if she were to die I have no idea how to get into her condo let alone what to do.
I've talked to her doctor and he says he can try to give her a test but if she refuses then there is nothing he can do. I should hire a lawyer and get power of attorney but I don't have the money and she knows that.
My husband exhibits odd behavior as well, but he is 42. He does some really odd things such as throw his trash on the floor even though he walks by two large garbage cans. This is in his own business and he will just throw paper, coke bottles, you name it on the ground. He had a pile of trash, about four feet high, on the floor inside the shop. I asked him why he would do such a thing and he doesn't have an answer. He just stares at me or turns away.
His actions don't make sense and he has this odd sense of self, as if he is the most fabulous person in the world, yet his life is crashing down around him. He didn't rake the leaves in the yard for two months and then claimed it was because it was always raining. Far from true but you can't tell him anything. He'll go to sleep with the doors wide open, left small, expensive things in the shop that he could have easily took home and they got stolen. He left a small, hand-held scanner in the shop. I don't mean he forgot it one day. I mean he NEVER took it home, despite my harping. It was worth $12,000 and it is now gone. And no insurance. Of course not.
And absolutely everything that happens to him is my fault. I have no idea what is wrong with him. He's always been strange but it is getting so much worse. And I'm afraid to say too much to people because I'm afraid they will think I am crazy.
I'm thinking that unless he's really forgetful or repeats all the same stories a lot of times, it's probably not AD though some people can get it really early. Your mother very well could be getting it though cuz my mom's always been kind of crazy too. It's going to be a tough holiday too b/c she won't even know it is xmas and her mother, who was taking care of her, passed away last January and I sure do miss her.
In her Nineties, my grandmother, a very religious woman, became angry when she was in a nursing facility after she'd had some surgery because of the "dirty picture" on the door to her room. The nurse was trying to figure out what she was talking about, because there was no picture on the door. Finally she realized that Nana was seeing a penis in the wood grain. LOL.
LOL--mmm hmm, now we know what granny's been thinking about.
I'm thinking that unless he's really forgetful or repeats all the same stories a lot of times, it's probably not AD though some people can get it really early. Your mother very well could be getting it though cuz my mom's always been kind of crazy too. It's going to be a tough holiday too b/c she won't even know it is xmas and her mother, who was taking care of her, passed away last January and I sure do miss her.
I know what you mean. This past November my mother didn't know it was her birthday. I had to call and tell her. I called later on to let my daughter talk to her and she didn't remember that I had called her earlier. In fact, due to the snowstorm, Halloween trick-or-treating was cancelled. My mother didn't notice. Then kids started showing up at her door five days later and she thought that then it was Halloween.
It's so hard because when they've been crazy all of their lives you can't tell the difference, except for the remembering situation. Even then, my mother forgot a lot of things. But she certainly remembered her birthday (she's a narcissist, for crying out loud!) and she wouldn't forget her doctor's appointment (a hypochondriac, too!), but she forgets both now.
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