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Oh wait-wait-wait... I just experienced a person with delusions of grandeur!
My son, in response to my saying, "What are you going to eat when I'm no longer around to cook for you?" said he knows how to cook... and claimed he could even make pancakes!
OMG!
It might seem mean to joke about this... but... this kid... sheesh... my other son loves to help out in the kitchen and learn to cook things. But not big brother. He is great about taking out the trash and recycling though.
OK, so here's the philosophical question I've been grappling with all of my life: how responsible are these people for their actions when they so obviously have mental problems? Should we be angry and strike them out of our lives or should we pray for them? (Assuming it's a family member that you must deal with--I wouldn't keep one for a mate no matter how loving I was.)
ps: by pray, I mean your version--not trying to turn this into a religion thread.
OK, so here's the philosophical question I've been grappling with all of my life: how responsible are these people for their actions when they so obviously have mental problems? Should we be angry and strike them out of our lives or should we pray for them? (Assuming it's a family member that you must deal with--I wouldn't keep one for a mate no matter how loving I was.)
ps: by pray, I mean your version--not trying to turn this into a religion thread.
Yes, I feel bad for people that have them as family members.
My dad is a psychopath that pathologically lies, especially about other people. He makes up some of the craziest stories about others and it took years for me to figure that out. But he generally does not make up stories about himself.
Some of this stuff I've read in on this thread is jaw-dropping.
I think that deep-down they know their stories are lies. I know my ex, if cornered, especially if he needs something from me, will drop the pretense and admit to the lie. I think they are very good at convincing themselves, the better to tell the lie with a straight face, but I think they know about it deep-down.
Years ago, a social worker told me that no matter what someone is afflicted with, even if it is physical, it is not an excuse for the negative actions that they commit against others. That always stuck with me. At the time I was living with my in-laws. My mother-in-law liked to make a lot of excuses for her husband - and her son, my husband at the time - for things that he did because of a neurological disease that he had. The social worker said that sorry, that was not an excuse for harassing someone and verbally and physically abusing others and it was not acceptable, even in the eyes of the law.
In my opinion, even if it is a family member you have to mentally and physically distance yourself from that person. Pathological lying is crazy-making behavior and no one should be subject to that. Praying for others is all well and good but I have to be careful of that, personally. I've always had a hard time drawing the line between empathy and being taken advantage of. I find it best to try to put the offender out of my mind as best as I can and move on.
OK, so here's the philosophical question I've been grappling with all of my life: how responsible are these people for their actions when they so obviously have mental problems? Should we be angry and strike them out of our lives or should we pray for them? (Assuming it's a family member that you must deal with--I wouldn't keep one for a mate no matter how loving I was.)
ps: by pray, I mean your version--not trying to turn this into a religion thread.
This is NOT a religion thread. Delusions of grandeur is a serious schizoid quality, I guess your sister has it?.
It is NOT fun to be around someone like this. People like this as you said, really believe they are "entrepreneurs" or as your sister was a 'stand up comedian"...bizarre. Its scarier when they are older too.
Not a thread about kids, I am talking about serious delusions adults have.Ii should add this guy sits home all day on FB, bcs he was always on chat last year when I was, so I deleted it. He actually has one employee and lives above a friends garage. Yet thinks he is the next ted turner, and "creating" a new networking/tv station idea...it is so bizarre.
I think that deep-down they know their stories are lies. I know my ex, if cornered, especially if he needs something from me, will drop the pretense and admit to the lie. I think they are very good at convincing themselves, the better to tell the lie with a straight face, but I think they know about it deep-down.
In my opinion, even if it is a family member you have to mentally and physically distance yourself from that person. Pathological lying is crazy-making behavior and no one should be subject to that. Praying for others is all well and good but I have to be careful of that, personally. I've always had a hard time drawing the line between empathy and being taken advantage of. I find it best to try to put the offender out of my mind as best as I can and move on.
I think they may only drop the pretense if they think it will manipulate something out of you--so maybe you're right, they do know. I'm glad to know what your therapist said b/c I'm inclined to just strike her out of my life and will as soon as the estate is settled. I tried empathy though I kept my distance so she couldn't take advantage of me and glad i am I did b/c she used anyone she could. To hear her talk, she's never been at fault for any of the negative things in her life, though she has to twist the story quite a lot to make that conclusion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey
This is NOT a religion thread. Delusions of grandeur is a serious schizoid quality, I guess your sister has it?
I'm guessing that she does, but how many of these people actually get dx'ed? I mean, they're never at fault--the world conspires against them. Oh, I just got the book The Sociopath Next Door from the library and will surely learn some interesting things. It will probably say to get away, very far away, from these types.
So I started reading that book--The Sociopath Next Door and it says that 1 in every 25 people is sociopathic. 4% of the population! Scary--you probably know several but unless you actually have much contact or get on the wrong side of them at work, you won't know it. I do know some telltale signs--there was a guy at a dance one night that was trying to impress me by telling me about his big house in Lafayette Square and his vacation house at Martha's Vineyard and some other stuff and I was just turned off b/c I know what it means when they start talking like that. I mean maybe he really was rich, but most rich people don't really come right out and tell you stuff like that right away and are wary of people trying to take advantage of them and their money, so it's a dead giveaway.
So I started reading that book--The Sociopath Next Door and it says that 1 in every 25 people is sociopathic. 4% of the population! Scary--you probably know several but unless you actually have much contact or get on the wrong side of them at work, you won't know it. I do know some telltale signs--there was a guy at a dance one night that was trying to impress me by telling me about his big house in Lafayette Square and his vacation house at Martha's Vineyard and some other stuff and I was just turned off b/c I know what it means when they start talking like that. I mean maybe he really was rich, but most rich people don't really come right out and tell you stuff like that right away and are wary of people trying to take advantage of them and their money, so it's a dead giveaway.
Sounds like a good book. Ever hear of this story? Alot of men will re-create a new identity and lie about their past careers, in this case it was a former Air Force deserter....(movie also made in mid 90's starring Gary Cole)
James Douglas Pou (http://www.lieshetoldtruestory.blogspot.com/2009/05/los-angeles-times-november-16-1992.html - broken link)
The good news was that her son, James Douglas Pou, 32, had resurfaced in California five years after his mysterious disappearance from a Air Force base in New Mexico. The bad news was that he was being held in the brig at March Air Force Base near San Diego on charges of desertion, larceny and bigamy.
What I find interesting is that some people see right through the line of BS, while others just admire the person more. Almost like a "Jim Jones" cult ideology. My Mom's BF, always had these grand schemes, and was planning his next business he was going to buy, while sponging off my Mom. He always had some fantastic "deal" in the works, but was working as a manger of a fast food place, to "learn the business" from the "inside". Okay. He always acted like he was smarter, better than everyone. His illusions of his own grandiosity were like a complete picture of a narrasistic personality disorder, full blown. He obviously beleived he was all that, that is the most amazing thing to me. He was oblivious to his reality.
lol. working at a "fast food place" but to "learn"...the guy I mentioned owned one shack with a transmitter in it. It was almost like something you would see on Investigation Discovery channel, and yes they truly believe in their delusions.
Alot of them like to trawl the internet, and create fictive personas on it as well, I have noticed. This is good reason for me to not use FB. Everythings a fake facade, lifes complicated enough!.
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my other son loves to help out in the kitchen and learn to cook things. But not big brother. He is great about taking out the trash and recycling though. 
