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Hello all, so I have a question. Has anyone been able to overcome their self doubt, anxieties and fears? Ive been doing some soul searching recently and I came across the fact that I have ALOT of self doubt and anxiety and the fear of failing. I always second guess myself on alot of things and I doubt my own abilities and I am afraid of failing. I can sometimes overanalyze things to the point that it will get to me emotionally, thinking that the worst will happen. I am also an emotional guy as it doesnt take much to make me tear up, and I feel as of recently, its been getting worse. I am currenlty a recent college grad (BA in psychology) and i am 24 and a male. I am currenlty working part time but I might get promoted to supervisor and will be working full time if taht happens. I have no kids, significant other or any financial oblogations. I still currently live with my parents. A little history on me. I was born with a skin condition that made my skin more easily damaged on my knees and elbows. Because of this, my mother used to always worry about me and watch over me. After talking with my mom, her and I realized that she never really let me do things on my own. She was overprotective. She always chose what I would do and never gave me the chance to really try things on my own. My father on the other hand is your typical macho mexican guy, and would get on my case over little things and when I did something wrong, he would criticize me and said that what Im doing is wrong and the right way is common sense and he shouldn't have to correct me. Also, there is the fact that my mom and dad constantly argues almost everyday might play a role. Another thing about me as a kid, I used to be extremely confident, but there was an incident when I was chased down by some older kids who threatened to hurt me really bad took a toll on me for a while. For about two years, I was scared to go outside my house and to go on any field trips. I still think that this incident may have an effect on me today. I was also teased as a kid for my skin problems. Fast forward to high school, and I got my first job as a cashier and this forced me to be engaged with the public. I believe this may have helped me open up. However my confidence still lacked. I was always too afraid to ask anyone out for dances, and thus, I never went to any of my high school dances. My college experience was just ok as well. I really didnt get the full college experience but luckily I graduated with no debt. However, after graduating college, ive been having more self confidence issues, and I have even started crying at random recently. I feel taht I am a failure and that I have squandered so much in my life. I have alot of regret about the past that I cant seem to let go. So here I am today. The weird part of all this is that some of the people in my life that I truly respect always tell me and say to me that they see a truly great individual inside and they cant understand why I lack self confidence and why I have self esteem issues. One of them is a doctor and a friend who I admire greatly and who i highly respect. He is an awesome doc and probably one of the best docs i have ever met. He tells me that he knows that I am a truly capable guy and that I just need to believe in myself more. He is in my opinion, the pinacle of medicine in terms of treating people. The other person i spoke to is a family friend of mine who is a self made millionaire. One of the most humble guys I know. He told me the same thing, and said that he cant understand why I doubt my abilities. The other person who I highly respect is my manager at work. She is the probably the best performing manager in our region and everyone respects her. My district manager goes to her for help if that means anything. I had a one on one convo with her the other day. She noticed that i was on a slump and she wanted to know whats was going on. I told her about how I am strugling internally and I began to break down. After getting me to cheer up she reminded and told me how she knows I am a good guy and how she has alot in faith in me and my abilities. I asked her if she was sugarcoating. She told me if I knew her as a person who would blow air up someones rear end and to sugar coat things. Which is true, she tells things as it is. But yet here I am still struggling with my fear, anxiety, self doubt, self esteem and confidence issue. I want to truly believe that these people are telling the truth and I want to believ that they are being truthful. I have tried seeking counseling but it didnt work. Im going to be seeing another counselour soon so we will see if that works. But i want to hear from anyone who has been able to overcome these issues of self doubt and the fear of failing. Deep down somehwere in me, I truly do feel like there is an individual who is not afraid of failing and exudes confidence and doesnt doubt himself. However, my mind and my thought process has kept him in lockdown and Im struggling to free him. So does anyone have any suggestions. Any ideas to overcome all this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Well college can certainly WRECK a person's self-esteem!
I once took an English class in college and the instructor gave EVERY student an "F" on the first paper they turned in! Many of the students in that class were 4.0 students and always got an "A". (The instructor had "issues".)
And then a student may do reading/learning on their own and realize the correct "book answer" is no longer correct due to changes or advances in technology or whatever. So the student gives the new updated answer on a test and it is marked wrong! The instructor wants only the answer given in the text book!
Anyway the REAL world and the work world are much much better. You will be recognized and rewarded for your accomplishments. If you notice some new change in the world and incorporate that information into your work, you will be rewarded for your knowledge (not punished as in college).
Anyway you just need to be out in the real world for a while. You will be free to do a good job and be rewarded. And sounds like that is already happening with your potential promotion.
So just smile and be happy! You are doing a good job. They are telling you that. Just say "Thank You" and accept people's compliments.
Hello all, so I have a question. Has anyone been able to overcome their self doubt, anxieties and fears? Ive been doing some soul searching recently and I came across the fact that I have ALOT of self doubt and anxiety and the fear of failing. I always second guess myself on alot of things and I doubt my own abilities and I am afraid of failing. I can sometimes overanalyze things to the point that it will get to me emotionally, thinking that the worst will happen. I am also an emotional guy as it doesnt take much to make me tear up, and I feel as of recently, its been getting worse. I am currenlty a recent college grad (BA in psychology) and i am 24 and a male. I am currenlty working part time but I might get promoted to supervisor and will be working full time if taht happens. I have no kids, significant other or any financial oblogations. I still currently live with my parents. A little history on me. I was born with a skin condition that made my skin more easily damaged on my knees and elbows. Because of this, my mother used to always worry about me and watch over me. After talking with my mom, her and I realized that she never really let me do things on my own. She was overprotective. She always chose what I would do and never gave me the chance to really try things on my own. My father on the other hand is your typical macho mexican guy, and would get on my case over little things and when I did something wrong, he would criticize me and said that what Im doing is wrong and the right way is common sense and he shouldn't have to correct me. Also, there is the fact that my mom and dad constantly argues almost everyday might play a role. Another thing about me as a kid, I used to be extremely confident, but there was an incident when I was chased down by some older kids who threatened to hurt me really bad took a toll on me for a while. For about two years, I was scared to go outside my house and to go on any field trips. I still think that this incident may have an effect on me today. I was also teased as a kid for my skin problems. Fast forward to high school, and I got my first job as a cashier and this forced me to be engaged with the public. I believe this may have helped me open up. However my confidence still lacked. I was always too afraid to ask anyone out for dances, and thus, I never went to any of my high school dances. My college experience was just ok as well. I really didnt get the full college experience but luckily I graduated with no debt. However, after graduating college, ive been having more self confidence issues, and I have even started crying at random recently. I feel taht I am a failure and that I have squandered so much in my life. I have alot of regret about the past that I cant seem to let go. So here I am today. The weird part of all this is that some of the people in my life that I truly respect always tell me and say to me that they see a truly great individual inside and they cant understand why I lack self confidence and why I have self esteem issues. One of them is a doctor and a friend who I admire greatly and who i highly respect. He is an awesome doc and probably one of the best docs i have ever met. He tells me that he knows that I am a truly capable guy and that I just need to believe in myself more. He is in my opinion, the pinacle of medicine in terms of treating people. The other person i spoke to is a family friend of mine who is a self made millionaire. One of the most humble guys I know. He told me the same thing, and said that he cant understand why I doubt my abilities. The other person who I highly respect is my manager at work. She is the probably the best performing manager in our region and everyone respects her. My district manager goes to her for help if that means anything. I had a one on one convo with her the other day. She noticed that i was on a slump and she wanted to know whats was going on. I told her about how I am strugling internally and I began to break down. After getting me to cheer up she reminded and told me how she knows I am a good guy and how she has alot in faith in me and my abilities. I asked her if she was sugarcoating. She told me if I knew her as a person who would blow air up someones rear end and to sugar coat things. Which is true, she tells things as it is. But yet here I am still struggling with my fear, anxiety, self doubt, self esteem and confidence issue. I want to truly believe that these people are telling the truth and I want to believ that they are being truthful. I have tried seeking counseling but it didnt work. Im going to be seeing another counselour soon so we will see if that works. But i want to hear from anyone who has been able to overcome these issues of self doubt and the fear of failing. Deep down somehwere in me, I truly do feel like there is an individual who is not afraid of failing and exudes confidence and doesnt doubt himself. However, my mind and my thought process has kept him in lockdown and Im struggling to free him. So does anyone have any suggestions. Any ideas to overcome all this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
This post goes back to 2013. If you are feeling better today, I am sincerely happy for you.
Cheers.
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