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Hey,
This is pretty difficult for me. Life changes. Especially good ones. For the last two years, I've been living on my own. I moved out of the nest two years ago and moved 1,000 miles away from home. A few months ago, I then, packed up again and moved 1,000 further away (so 2,000 total). I am 27, and an only child. I would go home for a week once every few months because I had a good amount of PTO and scheduled allowed me to combine days off with PTO to use a very little amount. Since getting this new job, I've had to build up my PTO, and have a "normal M-F schedule", which will not allow me to go home anytime soon. This past week I have had off due to the holidays and my parents finally made the trip down to see me. Its been a new experience. They helped out with a lot (bought me a table and a few other miscellenous items) for my apartment. It's odd to have noise in my apartment because its just me, but its been great. They leave on Saturday, and that will leave me alone again. Frankly, I am not looking forward to it. The combination of that along with work starting up again after the holidays (eg "normal life") sent me into a mental tale spin this morning. The trouble is, like always, I've counted down, looked forward to these days off since Thanksgiving (the previous time I had a few days off), and before that, it was Labor Day! Since September I was looking forward to this...and now its over.
I was hoping to go back to visit them in April, but have been sick recently, which had to eat into my PTO (no sick time), so it looks like I might not have enough time to go back for a full week as planned for Easter. I might have to push that back even further. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. How does one deal with this? I know the obvious is "book your ticket (even if its for June) and look forward to that". Always have something to look forward to?
It sounds like you need to find a way to change your life. Maybe a new job in a place closer to home. I know easier said than done. But not impossible.
Well, it's not like you tried moving away for a week and want to go home. You gave this experiment to live far away from your folks 2 years. That's a very fair trial period.
So, you learned you don't want to live far away. That's good news! Now, you need to put your energy into figuring out how to move back closer to your family. It will give you a mission and much more to look forward to than just visiting them again.
It's quite alright to want to be close to family and your support system. And it sounds like you have a good one. You're lucky :-)
Well, it's not like you tried moving away for a week and want to go home. You gave this experiment to live far away from your folks 2 years. That's a very fair trial period.
So, you learned you don't want to live far away. That's good news! Now, you need to put your energy into figuring out how to move back closer to your family. It will give you a mission and much more to look forward to than just visiting them again.
It's quite alright to want to be close to family and your support system. And it sounds like you have a good one. You're lucky :-)
Great advice. OP should also determine if it's solely the distance that is causing distress or how the new job changed his/her lifestyle. Also, as you make friends/acquaintances, you'll have other people to "lean on" when you are unable to visit your family.
There isn't anything wrong with wanting to be near family If that is what you value most, considering relocating closer.
No, the anxiety and unhappiness isn't new due to the distance. Its actually improved being further away.
I'm going to try again: (1) while you are okay living alone and away from your family, currently you feel lonely and (2) the structure of your job (routine 9 to 5) is making you unhappy and/or does not gel with your lifestyle wants. Possibly you have not established a "home" feeling in new city. Have you tried to make friends/acquaintances through your work or through pursuing a hobby? As you build a reputation at your job and increase your time, is there openness in work flexibility (compressed-work week or telework)?
I'm not a fan of short-term solutions and typically one's psyche is not a fan of such things. If you cannot afford a whole week off, why not meet your parents in-between and just make it family weekend trip.
OP, I hope this is helpful and you find some resolve in your concerns
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If that is what you value most, considering relocating closer.
