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Is anyone afraid to leave the house alone or be left alone? I have this terrible fear and it causes extreme panic attacks. I've gotten to the point where I've given up to get better because nothing including counseling works. I can't work and I feel like a prisoner. I can't enjoy life because this is a big issue. I believe this all stems from issues throughout my life. Parents separated at age 5, mother passed away at 11, 6 months later lost grandfather, lost my grandmother who raised me after mother's death, lost several pets, father passed away, and spouse picked up without warning for 3 months but returned. Loss, loss, loss! Now I have this fear being left alone. I hate it and can't stand to be alone. I can't get over it and it's only has gotten worse. I will not leave the house unless I have family member with me at all times. It makes me very depressed and I feel guilty for putting my family through this!
Wow, firstly I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I have separating anxiety, but it has gotten better with time. I don't ever feel like I am confined to the house, but if a loved one leaves me, than I start to get very anxious. Has your doctor spoken to you about the possibility of Generalized Anxiety Disorder?
What you're describing sounds like trauma and not only one episode but several.... maybe that it's the best solution that you have found to cope with the emotional distress . It looks like you're a child from an emotional point of view , even thou you might be an adult from a cognitive point of view. what therapy are you in?.
Unfortunately, I'm unable to tolerate meds. They make me worse. I've tried all kinds of therapy including CBT, desensitization, coping skills, breathing skills, just talking, you name it. I suffer from panic attacks, agoraphobia, and depression as well. It all started 31 years ago. It comes and goes in waves but lasts for many years. Counseling has helped on and off for short periods. Unfortunately, I don't have insurance either so the counseling isn't the best. The local mental health department only offers short term counseling for 6-8 sessions which doesn't even touch my issues. I can't afford counseling either. I just can't seem to beat it and it's so frustrating. I'm sick of it limiting me what I enjoy doing in life. I want to be able to go out with friends and have a good time but I just can't. I wish I could work again but at this point it's impossible. I'm sick of feeling like a prisoner.
When you say that ,, it comes and goes in waves,, what exactly do you mean?
Desensitization ... like emdr?
Tell me a little bit more on what you enjoy doing in your life.
When you say that ,, it comes and goes in waves,, what exactly do you mean?
Desensitization ... like emdr?
Tell me a little bit more on what you enjoy doing in your life.
I mean, it maybe manageable for 2-4 years. Then, the stress overload comes and it gets disabling for many more years 5-10 years. I can't seem to manage a work life balance. I can only handle so much on my plate and then it becomes too much where I just candle handle any stress. I think the last thing that was the straw that broke the camel's back was when my dh up and left 16 hours away (to go back home) with no warning. At that time, he got involved with another woman. He came back 3 months later and yes I allowed it. Keep in mind we've been together for 25 years and married 22 years. That was about 7 years ago. I don't bring it up because I forgave him but I didn't forget. It never happened before and I feel people make mistakes. He says he has severe guilt about everyday and regrets it terribly. He said he was going through depression at the time and couldn't take it anymore. No excuse but it's what happened. When he goes out on his own, I get terrible anxiety. He's come a long way but it's just very bothersome to me. I've become very controlling which is not good either.
I like going out with friends to eat, dance, on vacation, hang out and talk, listen to music, going to yard sales or whatever. We just moved to another state and we really don't know anyone and that really hasn't helped. Where we used to live I had friends who knew my situation. At least if they picked me up, I could manage to go to lunch. I quit doing that in the past 2-3 years. I also had a good friend who was a neighbor and we'd sit outside and talk. I don't have social anxiety at all. In fact, I prefer to be around friends and people. I like to talk to people. Unfortunately where we moved, people aren't too friendly. I'm not used to that. I'm unable to get out on my own to talk to people or meet friends because of my disability. My DH and I go out and frequent local establishments but most people don't acknowledge us because we are not locals. We talk to people but it's small talk and nothing ever comes of it.
Just so many loses and trauma in my life have caused me to feel this way I believe. I feel hopeless and frustrated. I just wish I could live a normal life and enjoy my life. The worst part of my panic attacks now is the feeling of not being able to concentrate and everything goes blank and it makes me panic more. I get tunnel vision. It's a really scary feeling. I feel out of control. I know and have learned I'm not going to have a heart attack and die. I know all the other symptoms are due to the panic attack and they will pass. When I get a panic attack I get the flight response and all I can think about is I got to get home with someone in my family to help me.
So you're married .. any kids ?
If I correctly understood Dh =darling husband ? ( english is not my mother tongue).
What about your personal projects.. you mentioned that you moved to another state. How come?
If any of my questions does not feel right for you.. I don't want to look like I'm interogating..
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I will not leave the house unless I have family member with me at all times. It makes me very depressed and I feel guilty for putting my family through this!
Keep in mind we've been together for 25 years and married 22 years. That was about 7 years ago. I don't bring it up because I forgave him but I didn't forget. It never happened before and I feel people make mistakes. He says he has severe guilt about everyday and regrets it terribly. He said he was going through depression at the time and couldn't take it anymore. No excuse but it's what happened. When he goes out on his own, I get terrible anxiety. He's come a long way but it's just very bothersome to me. I've become very controlling which is not good either. 
I'm unable to get out on my own to talk to people or meet friends because of my disability. My DH and I go out and frequent local establishments but most people don't acknowledge us because we are not locals. We talk to people but it's small talk and nothing ever comes of it. 
