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Your kind message is so empowering, you don't have a clue. the slightest bit of support equals to rays of light and hope, thank you. I'm also so sorry you've lost your daughter. thank you for the support. much appreciated. I actually cried when I read what you mentioned about your daughter. I've known that pain and feeling to want to die for so long.
OP, if you're in college, go to the counseling center. It's free.
If you're not in school, google trauma counselors, and look for ones that offer a technique called EMDR, or Somatic Experiencing. These techniques can at least resolve the worst of the symptoms efficiently. Then you'll be calm enough to talk about family issues. A good trauma counselor will have techniques to do not only in the session, but at home, to help you process your emotions and move that energy out of your system. When you're looking up counselors, you can call them and ask them about what techniques they use. You can also peruse their websites to glean info from there, to help decide whom to try out.
Right now, your emotions, your outrage, pain and grief, are all trapped inside, rattling around in your body/mind, causing these cutting outbursts. You also probably have unresolved Post-Traumatic Stress. Look for counselors that have experience diagnosing and treating that. Also, some counselors offer a sliding scale for payment; you can negotiate a fee with them.
Help is out there; it's right around the corner, in fact. You just have to know which corner to look in.
OP, if you're in college, go to the counseling center. It's free.
If you're not in school, google trauma counselors, and look for ones that offer a technique called EMDR, or Somatic Experiencing. These techniques can at least resolve the worst of the symptoms efficiently. Then you'll be calm enough to talk about family issues. A good trauma counselor will have techniques to do not only in the session, but at home, to help you process your emotions and move that energy out of your system. When you're looking up counselors, you can call them and ask them about what techniques they use. You can also peruse their websites to glean info from there, to help decide whom to try out.
Right now, your emotions, your outrage, pain and grief, are all trapped inside, rattling around in your body/mind, causing these cutting outbursts. You also probably have unresolved Post-Traumatic Stress. Look for counselors that have experience diagnosing and treating that. Also, some counselors offer a sliding scale for payment; you can negotiate a fee with them.
Help is out there; it's right around the corner, in fact. You just have to know which corner to look in.
awww man thanks! its time for me to pick and choose my corners! lol, but yes, I do need to start taking life into my own hands and get myself help. in the past, I was so lethargic and afraid to get help. Now i'm brave to admit that I do need it. I'm tired of running away from problems. What I had to learn the hard way was that the longer you wait to solve problems, the more the problem lengthens.
I mean, yeah I was diagnosed and did get mental treatment and such but I never stayed persistent with the plan( which is my fault). but I feel like my dad's touchDNA prints is still on me from when I was sexually abused. I don't know what that feeling means but it just comes into my brain. I want to stop cutting so badly, but when I have sharp mood swings, I feel as if I don't have any choice.
Look for a group which specializes in adult survivors of sexual abuse. There are groups for teens and kids, Sons United and Daughters United, and contacting one of them might help you find one. Especially if this is an issue stored away in a quiet hiding place, it leaves landmines. Groups where everyone understands can not only create a safe space to talk, but help uncover issues deeply buried. Also, keep track of when the deep mood shifts come, and what might have triggered them. Being aware will of how your mind reacts to triggers gives you a way to head them off. Also, you could contact the DBSA, which meets once an month and is a safe haven to talk. It's discussions are private, not to go beyond the group, and when I was having horrible problems with sudden mood swings, they helped me more than any 'official' person.
Don't expect pills to fix it. Pills are to temper the shifts and give you some space before you fall off the cliff. But they also have a lot of other effects which might not be so good. Use them to provide a soft landing but don't let them be your only helper. What I found was when I discovered what lay underneath the pile of anxiety and fears, I could cut the cord and begin to deal with the source.
And on some source of meds or not, find a friendly place to talk where the listeners get what you feel and let yourself grieve and some day, let go. Burying issues may feel better at the time but are ready to sneek out when you think its okay, so don't let them.
Look for a group which specializes in adult survivors of sexual abuse. There are groups for teens and kids, Sons United and Daughters United, and contacting one of them might help you find one. Especially if this is an issue stored away in a quiet hiding place, it leaves landmines. Groups where everyone understands can not only create a safe space to talk, but help uncover issues deeply buried. Also, keep track of when the deep mood shifts come, and what might have triggered them. Being aware will of how your mind reacts to triggers gives you a way to head them off. Also, you could contact the DBSA, which meets once an month and is a safe haven to talk. It's discussions are private, not to go beyond the group, and when I was having horrible problems with sudden mood swings, they helped me more than any 'official' person.
Don't expect pills to fix it. Pills are to temper the shifts and give you some space before you fall off the cliff. But they also have a lot of other effects which might not be so good. Use them to provide a soft landing but don't let them be your only helper. What I found was when I discovered what lay underneath the pile of anxiety and fears, I could cut the cord and begin to deal with the source.
And on some source of meds or not, find a friendly place to talk where the listeners get what you feel and let yourself grieve and some day, let go. Burying issues may feel better at the time but are ready to sneek out when you think its okay, so don't let them.
Thanks, those sound like good ideas to me. one thing that I realized that can really get my emotions( like falling off the clip like you said) is when I become "hangry" and don't eat. when I get stressed I forget that I need food and nutrition to deal with such things and to maintain my emotions and health.
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