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It requires a lot of work and a lot of understanding but those 5% who do make it are pretty happy. It can be done if the couple understands it is not going to be a fairy tale romance or conventional marriage.
Considering how much happiness marriage can bring to any man's life, I hope for your son that he has a chance.
You are completely freaking me out! You seriously think it's a good idea just to let this be? Doom him to living with his mother for the rest of your life, and then he's a totally dysfunctional adult, all alone?
This is the fate of my brother, and the entire family wishes that what is suspected to be Asperger's had been caught and treated to whatever extent it could have been.
This is a weird thread. People don't seem to actually be reading the OP at all
He can live with his Mother if they so choose. When she passes, he'll get the house and any other money
Who knows if he can hold a job eventually so she has time to sort this out. She seems like a loving mother
My son has this too no doubt. It worked itself out. He's in a job he can do just fine. Moved up once so far
It's not my job to decide whether he can marry or whether he'll "make it"
Lots of assumptions here which are assuming the worst
My only assumption is that OP has been truthful in her posting.
What are the chances this man who can't hold a job now will be able to get one in 30 years when mom dies and he needs to support himself?
An old house that needs repairs, 100K in investments and a few thousand in life insurance will last him, what, 10 years?
And if mom needs long-term health care? She makes less than 20K a year and is currently only working part time. Health insurance is probably minimal if there at all. Medicare won't pay for much.
This is the risk I was talking about. Mom going broke and son being left homeless.
It is utterly irresponsible to sweep this disability under the rug because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings with a diagnosis that she feels is stigmatizing. Get over it.
There is help available. Job training. Life coaching.
My only assumption is that OP has been truthful in her posting.
What are the chances this man who can't hold a job now will be able to get one in 30 years when mom dies and he needs to support himself?
An old house that needs repairs, 100K in investments and a few thousand in life insurance will last him, what, 10 years?
And if mom needs long-term health care? She makes less than 20K a year and is currently only working part time. Health insurance is probably minimal if there at all. Medicare won't pay for much.
This is the risk I was talking about. Mom going broke and son being left homeless.
It is utterly irresponsible to sweep this disability under the rug because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings with a diagnosis that she feels is stigmatizing. Get over it.
There is help available. Job training. Life coaching.
With all due respect, It would take take a long time to educate you on this.
Not trying to be rude but there is so much here to address I am not sure where to start so won't bother.
OP do what you feel is right. You're doing great. I Pm'd you one suggestion regarding how to handle your estate after your gone with regards to your son
I have asperger's (mild) and I am grateful to know it. It explains so much about my life, and why I always felt like such an oddball. I have a phenomenal one-in-a-million memory and I can memorize detailed photographs with relative ease, but I suffer terribly with prosopagnosia (inability to remember a face). That's quite humiliating.
My body interprets loud noises as physical pain, and that's not fun. When I see colors, my brain sees them as having numerical value, and then I add them up. I really thought everyone did that, and it was late in life I realized that this was not common.
I'm an expert in my niche field, and were it not for that, I am not sure what would have become of me, so I am very grateful to know about this.
I think society is still a long way from educating the public about what Aspergers/autism entails. I birthed one. He is 32 now. I have no contact with him either.
I also unintentionally married one. Why? Because by the time I met him, at his age of 52, he had long ago figured out how to mask his social deficiencies. Well, not exactly. He used love bombing. Kept me inundated with constant contact etc, to keep me from recognizing those Red Flags. He didn't allow that mask to fall till AFTER the marriage vows were said.
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