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I have a dysfunctional relationship with my father (almost 70, and lost his job last year) and we (me, my sister and him) are financially struggling right now. Obviously not the funnest of times but he is beginning to act odd; he keeps saying that he will "blow his head off" under his breath to punish me and my sister, with that said he acts like we are being ungrateful *******s because we can't or sometimes won't comply with his random unreasonable desires (mentioned suicide as punishment for my sister because she couldn't join our New Age prayer circle last night because she was at work, also called her a "*****"), is like a broken record of negativity and complaining about the world, conspiracy theories and the neighborhood we live in, and tries to physically corner me/or her to complain for hours even if we have to go to work. There is a lot of other miscellaneous stuff like him peeing on my sisters bathroom seat and not cleaning it up, and going through her things or rearranging things in her room.
He has always had a lot of personal demons, which made our upbringing tough, and causes me to hold some resentment to him, but he began to mellow out and become likable until recently. No one is a saint so i don't expect him to be perfect during the stuff we are going through, but he is beginning to worry me.
Yes, and make sure he doesn't have access to guns. If he does, then you might want to try through law enforcement to figure out how to get him into a hospital for examination.
If he is threatening to kill himself, he could go one better, taking others out with him.
My dad is a paranoid schizophrenic so it's hard for me to know how much of his behavior was from that and how much was the beginning of Alzheimer's, but strange comments and mistrust of the people he lives with or who were caring for him were some of his early symptoms, back when he could still express himself well.
Does he have a doctor that he's seen for a long time? Would it be possible for you to communicate with the doctor? The doctor wouldn't be able to tell you anything, but you could express your concerns and maybe the doctor could make some suggestions to your dad. The problem would be, if it's the beginning of dementia, that your dad wouldn't remember what the doctor had said to him. If you or your sister could go to his doctor appointments with him, that would help.
My father did that muttering thing under his breath when he was going into the middle stages of Alzheimer's. He said the most vile, nasty, ugly things that were shocking coming out of my straight-laced dad.
He needs an evaluation. Since you and your sister seem to be enjoying the benefits of still living rent free at the family home in middle age, I would say that it is your duty and responsibility to get him the help he needs.
I'm not an American but I'm a regular reader of the Caregiving forum here at C-D where American posters talk about resources available to help the elderly. This is one such post:
Another poster once mentioned a "Department of Aging" but I suspect the name changes from state to state.
Your father definitely needs to be assessed. If he breaks completely with reality he could become a danger to himself and others.
My mother has been tested for dementia a number of times. It's a simple loss of memory test so the type of issues your father has wouldn't show up in the test.
How old are you and your sister? Do you all live in the same house? Who is working?
26 and 28. Yes. I am working two jobs and my sister is a seamstress.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
My father did that muttering thing under his breath when he was going into the middle stages of Alzheimer's. He said the most vile, nasty, ugly things that were shocking coming out of my straight-laced dad.
He needs an evaluation. Since you and your sister seem to be enjoying the benefits of still living rent free at the family home in middle age, I would say that it is your duty and responsibility to get him the help he needs.
Beings he has always had some personal demons, I would not say he is becoming mentally ill, but the deeper aspects of it are now rising to the surface.
Things can trigger more irrational reactions, thoughts and words. Beings he lost his job, it makes sense that depression would set in and be part of the trigger pulling. (Hmm...maybe that is not such a good term to use? Trigger?...sorry...)
He needs to be evaluated right away and hopefully find some medication that will ease all this for all of you.
Try the "Area Agency on Aging". This is a federal program and all states are divided into districts and should have services. That would be a starting place for finding somewhere to get an evaluation. You could probably just say it was a medical exam but be sure they do some psychological testing.
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