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Lately, for the past two months or so, I have had recurring thoughts regarding fear of death.
It is my personal conviction that our consciousness continues on after physical death.
My fear is that I do not know what to expect when I cross over (I am not religious and respectfully do not want to hear religious "answers"). I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to enjoy my life now but I am so scared of what comes after. "Fear of the unknown"
I have just recently graduated college and I think that this transition period in my life is causing this. My college friends are not local, I do not see them often. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have any strong passions at the time. I work as an engineer which I am proud of, but am feeling unfulfilled at my job. Overall I would say that I am bored and lonely, and having an existential crisis.
How do I get out of the habit of thinking about death? How can I become present and invested in my life again?
Warmly
LegendOfAMind
Last edited by LegendOfAMind; 10-27-2018 at 08:25 PM..
Reason: grammar
When I was in my early/mid 20's (a looooonnng time ago) I went through the same thing. I remember being terrified of death and what it would entail. This went on for months.
I can't really explain it but I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the fact that I was going to die. I actually got a very comforting feeling after that and since that time I have had no fear of dying at all. I am not ready to die but I am not at all fearful of it coming now.
When you are my age you will realize that you waste so much time worrying about things that you truly have no control over. Most of the things you worry about will never happen. You will die but until then - enjoy your life.
Lately, for the past two months or so, I have had recurring thoughts regarding fear of death.
I have just recently graduated college and I think that this transition period in my life is causing this.
How do I get out of the habit of thinking about death? How can I become present and invested in my life again?
Warmly
LegendOfAMind
Over the years I've recognized a pattern in myself. When I am anxious and worried about something specific like my career (that I do have some control over if I really focus on teasing out what's wrong) but I don't sit down and face it, I start worrying about bigger and bigger things like national politics, climate change, fate of the planet, etc. Sort of like expanding ripples in a pond. I've finally concluded that what I was actually worrying about wasn't death or what might come after, but CHANGE I didn't want to face. When I was uncertain and second-guessing decisions in my "real" life, it got worse; got more control over me. I felt I had to change something but was too anxious to actually DO it. The feeling would ebb into the background again when I was more confident about what was going on in reality.
In other words, it might not be fear of death at all. Death is often symbolic for change in direction, change in state.
In one of my favorite novels the main character makes a horrible mistake and is terrified and ashamed by the result. He leaves everything he knows, hoping to bury himself in solitude. He starts feeling that he is being stalked by a mysterious figure. The more he flees from it the more ominous it gets, the more he fears it, the more powerless he feels, so he flees faster. It keeps getting larger and larger in his mind. The chase consumes his life sending him hundreds of miles over years. Finally he is so exhausted he can't go any farther, turns around and waits for it to consume him. Stands and waits but it doesn't come closer. As he walks up to it, it shrinks from a huge indistinct figure down to a size very much like himself, he doesn't want to touch it but reaches out. So does it. The hands are identical and so is the mysterious figure. He recognizes himself.
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-28-2018 at 01:37 AM..
Lately, for the past two months or so, I have had recurring thoughts regarding fear of death.
It is my personal conviction that our consciousness continues on after physical death.
My fear is that I do not know what to expect when I cross over (I am not religious and respectfully do not want to hear religious "answers"). I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to enjoy my life now but I am so scared of what comes after. "Fear of the unknown"
I have just recently graduated college and I think that this transition period in my life is causing this. My college friends are not local, I do not see them often. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have any strong passions at the time. I work as an engineer which I am proud of, but am feeling unfulfilled at my job. Overall I would say that I am bored and lonely, and having an existential crisis.
How do I get out of the habit of thinking about death? How can I become present and invested in my life again?
Warmly
LegendOfAMind
I dwell more on the subject myself when Im feeling low with health issues.. as it affects the mind too , and sometimes leaves us with a hopelessness about life.... maybe your not too well recently and need some help or support.... The way I see it is that were getting older and its inevitable at some stage.... but we all have to do this.. its part of life...try and be positive and find things to do to lift your mind...
I so wish I had never read anything about reincarnation, and that is what I fear the most about dying, being reincarnated. I so worry about it, that's one reason I moved to Tucson at 68YO. I was afraid if I died in Las Vegas I'd be reincarnated in that city, and I'm perfectly comfortable with the idea of being reincarnated here in Tucson. But what if I'm reincarnated on the Gaza Strip, Somalia or Yemen?
IMO, the luckiest people are those that were killed unexpectedly, killed instantly in head-one crashes, as these people had not one second to think about death or the afterlife. Go to a nursing home and you may have many years of torturing yourself with thoughts of death and the afterlife.
I would so love to die with someone, that would be of great help. I'm hoping some day, there'll be a website, with those that are considering suicide but want to commit suicide with someone else. And ideally, others may want to join in and you go as a group!
I so wish I had never read anything about reincarnation, and that is what I fear the most about dying, being reincarnated. I so worry about it, that's one reason I moved to Tucson at 68YO. I was afraid if I died in Las Vegas I'd be reincarnated in that city, and I'm perfectly comfortable with the idea of being reincarnated here in Tucson. But what if I'm reincarnated on the Gaza Strip, Somalia or Yemen?
IMO, the luckiest people are those that were killed unexpectedly, killed instantly in head-one crashes, as these people had not one second to think about death or the afterlife. Go to a nursing home and you may have many years of torturing yourself with thoughts of death and the afterlife.
I would so love to die with someone, that would be of great help. I'm hoping some day, there'll be a website, with those that are considering suicide but want to commit suicide with someone else. And ideally, others may want to join in and you go as a group!
Why would you want that.. to hold hands to go into the happy hunting ground together... oh behave..
When I was in my early/mid 20's (a looooonnng time ago) I went through the same thing. I remember being terrified of death and what it would entail. This went on for months.
I can't really explain it but I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the fact that I was going to die. I actually got a very comforting feeling after that and since that time I have had no fear of dying at all. I am not ready to die but I am not at all fearful of it coming now.
When you are my age you will realize that you waste so much time worrying about things that you truly have no control over. Most of the things you worry about will never happen. You will die but until then - enjoy your life.
I feel that this must be a thing that twenty-somethings are susceptible to because of it truly being a weaird transition in life. I also find that most things I worry about do not ever happen. Obviously death is going to happen - and yes you are of course correct that we can do nothing about it (besides be healthy and prolong life). So, just realizing that there is nothing that you can do comforted you? Tell me more.
This helps me to extent but I think my bigger fear is CHANGE as parnasssia is talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
Over the years I've recognized a pattern in myself. When I am anxious and worried about something specific like my career (that I do have some control over if I really focus on teasing out what's wrong) but I don't sit down and face it, I start worrying about bigger and bigger things like national politics, climate change, fate of the planet, etc. Sort of like expanding ripples in a pond. I've finally concluded that what I was actually worrying about wasn't death or what might come after, but CHANGE I didn't want to face. When I was uncertain and second-guessing decisions in my "real" life, it got worse; got more control over me. I felt I had to change something but was too anxious to actually DO it. The feeling would ebb into the background again when I was more confident about what was going on in reality.
In other words, it might not be fear of death at all. Death is often symbolic for change in direction, change in state.
In one of my favorite novels the main character makes a horrible mistake and is terrified and ashamed by the result. He leaves everything he knows, hoping to bury himself in solitude. He starts feeling that he is being stalked by a mysterious figure. The more he flees from it the more ominous it gets, the more he fears it, the more powerless he feels, so he flees faster. It keeps getting larger and larger in his mind. The chase consumes his life sending him hundreds of miles over years. Finally he is so exhausted he can't go any farther, turns around and waits for it to consume him. Stands and waits but it doesn't come closer. As he walks up to it, it shrinks from a huge indistinct figure down to a size very much like himself, he doesn't want to touch it but reaches out. So does it. The hands are identical and so is the mysterious figure. He recognizes himself.
I think that you are right. Because when I think of why I am scared I think of 1.) having no control over it and 2.) that I will not be HERE anymore. I do not want to leave Earth as a human. I am grateful that life does continue somehow but I am so damned scared of what that may be. I can only assume that it is just as suitable to our conscience as Earth is to our human-ness, but I enjoy being a human. It is all that I know. I guess that I need to be brave and carry on. I cannot change the fact that I will die, I can only change my attitude about it. But man it scares me.
I think that you are right. Because when I think of why I am scared I think of 1.) having no control over it and 2.) that I will not be HERE anymore. I do not want to leave Earth as a human. I am grateful that life does continue somehow but I am so damned scared of what that may be. I can only assume that it is just as suitable to our conscience as Earth is to our human-ness, but I enjoy being a human. It is all that I know. I guess that I need to be brave and carry on. I cannot change the fact that I will die, I can only change my attitude about it. But man it scares me.
Another thought that might help put this in perspective. We grow INTO as well as OUT OF fears over time. A personal anecdote to explain what I mean:
When I was very small we lived in an older house that had a huge area of well established English ivy in the back yard. It was like a jungle. All that could be seen of the family Scottish terriers when they rooted around in it was the tips of their tails. I clearly remember times being so afraid of what I couldn't see I wouldn't step in it. I also clearly remember overcoming the fear of the unseen and romping through the same leaves without a care in the world. Later, after I'd learned something new about the world such as the existence of large spiders, that ivy was once again something to stay out of. In turn, once I knew that bites from large spiders weren't that bad, I would wade into the leaves without a qualm.
The point I'm awkwardly trying to make is that fears come and go with learning and awareness.
Another thought that might help put this in perspective. We grow INTO as well as OUT OF fears over time. A personal anecdote to explain what I mean:
When I was very small we lived in an older house that had a huge area of well established English ivy in the back yard. It was like a jungle. All that could be seen of the family Scottish terriers when they rooted around in it was the tips of their tails. I clearly remember times being so afraid of what I couldn't see I wouldn't step in it. I also clearly remember overcoming the fear of the unseen and romping through the same leaves without a care in the world. Later, after I'd learned something new about the world such as the existence of large spiders, that ivy was once again something to stay out of. In turn, once I knew that bites from large spiders weren't that bad, I would wade into the leaves without a qualm.
The point I'm awkwardly trying to make is that fears come and go with learning and awareness.
I understand.
There is a quote by Marie Curie that goes something like "Nothing is to be feared, only understood"
I feel that the more I entertain the thought of the afterlife, although it feels terribly at the moment, the better I feel in the long run. This has been happening to me for about two months now. I am better off now than I was when this all began. I just have to face it (as in accept it) and contemplate it.
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