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I lost someone who was so important to me, it’s really hard to deal with this, I know I’m being stupid, but I am so heartbroken over everything and I’m trying to figure things out.
Alcohol and drugs won't help. They'll mask the pain temporarily..but in the long run they'll cause far more problems. My condolences and sorry for your loss.
Do you have a religious or spiritual friend who can help you?
Any friend, really.
If you need some help, go see your doctor - they can prescribe something that may be better for a temporary depression. Or even a long term one.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of a friend of mine who got a phone call this morning that I think means her mom passed away. And I think of losing my dad two years ago.
This time of year is particularly hard for a loss.
Heck, even just posting here might help you. I know there are plenty of compassionate souls on this forum.
Suicide help lines need all kinds of info, they also need you to go to a psych ward. Sorry, not doing it, I’d rather be dead.
I worked on a suicide help line and that's simply not true (at least not the one I worked on). We never asked for all kinds of info. We didn't need you to go to a psych ward and I never sent anyone to one. In the year I volunteered, I only had to involve the authorities (in this case, the police) once. That was when the person was drunk, had a gun, and was considering using it.
I am sorry Hapa that you are going through this kind of grief. Loss is so very hard to deal with and this looks like a huge unspeakable loss for you. I feel you would find comfort/answers with a grief support group. It can be an independent group or through a church. I have found that support groups through the church are not pushy but actually pretty comforting. Here is why - you will be with people that are going through like or similar situations as yours. You will find that there are others that feel as equally crushed as you. Usually the group is led by someone that has gone through like experiences themselves and have been vetted and are very professional. Often times there will be lessons that can help you think through and figure out your current state and the journey you are about to go on. You will have people to lean on, talk to, cry with.
You are experiencing a "dark night of the soul" experience. Though you will not believe this today, there is a light (over time) that comes after groveling face down in the valley of hopelessness and wanting to die. Someday you will look back and you will not believe that you actually walked through all of this and are doing okay.
With that said - there are others like you, that are not wanting to go on. So many. If you can persevere through this trial, you will be used greatly to help others you come across that are facing daunting and dark times like you are today and you can provide them a priceless treasure of insight and hope. Imagine being able to do that.
Thanks everyone, I have just been sleeping, drinking alcohol, and using drugs. I’ll get through everything I think, you have all helped me so much.
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