Why is it so difficult to find loyal friends in Miami? (2014, credit card)

[Live0101]

I'm not from here,I came here is my late 40's. I've been here for a long time now. I have very loyal and true friends in the N.E. where I am from. Its seems that people here are not that genuine when it comes to..."Doing what they say and saying what they mean. Why tell someone you are going to meet them somewhere and not show up,more than once? Showing up at your house when you have already told them not to call when they show up outside. Getting a new lover and totally ignoring the friendship until they're single again. Where I'm from,you always tell someone enough in advance that you are coming over,especially if they aren't best friends yet. (People still, do like to clean before they have company) IF they are weak enough to have a mate that doesn't want them to have certain friends,should they really be creating new friendships? If your married,is it really necessary to be double teamed because they both think they are right,when the other spouse was not the one you made friends with in the first place? Should married people have single friends if that's the case? What about sharing personal information that you don't want the other spouse to know? Can you really trust that it was not revealed to them? I on the other hand,wouldn't tell my spouse anything my best friend instructed me not to say,but its not the case down here. When this happens and the other spouse doesn't like their friend,I think it gives them power to alienate the friendship. (When they get mad or drunk and mention that personal tidbit to you,the smirk on their face the entire time.)
Now,these incidents have happened at different times and with different people. Speaking of that,If you didn't like someone,would you tell your mate not to speak to them,or else? That is bizarre to me! Only if that person has done something to the couple as a whole,other then that,would you want a puppet like that for a lover? ( Don't answer that sociopaths and predators!) Influence is one thing,but random friendliness? I'm not just talking about couples either as far as the negaties experinces I've had here trying to make Friends.but hey,I'm not going to kiss your ass either when I can Skype my real friends!

I found one really good friend a few years ago,military guy,but he had a stroke and lost all memory of me,and had a different persona after his stroke.(racist like) I'm not crying over spilled milk here,but I've lived here a long time and nothing has changed,it doesn't matter where I work,live or play. I meet a lot of bull****ters in this area. Almost as if I live in a mass of poisonous gases like a "MIASMA" Doesn't matter what county either.S.E.FL period! I'll say this much though,I don't have people being too nosy though either...LOL (Sarcastic)

It can be very frustrating,I know I can move but I just can't afford to right now... Am I being too picky about friends down here? Should I just settle for people that talk the talk and never walk anywhere? I mean, GEEWIZ!

[ace587]

tell me about it. Real friends are the ones overseas especially ones i met while i travelled. We still keep in contact

[TriCounty]

It's not just Miami.

[StarfishKey]

This thread has been asked multiple times before. Do a search for Miami and friends and you'll see it plenty of explanations. Miami is a superficial city, focused on a party culture. Anyone who didn't know that's what it's known for shouldn't be living here. It's not known for its compassion, dedication, punctuality, or formality. Many Cuban friends have also explained to me that it is an expected part of the culture to flake out on friends from time to time, when you can't deal for whatever reason - and then to avoid them for a month or so out of awkwardness. This may not span all classifications of Cubans of course, but it's what I've been told by various Cuban people. It's a very casual kind of place, not known for its intensity of long-term relationships.

[TriCounty]

Originally Posted by StarfishKey

This thread has been asked multiple times before. Do a search for Miami and friends and you'll see it plenty of explanations. Miami is a superficial city, focused on a party culture. Anyone who didn't know that's what it's known for shouldn't be living here. It's not known for its compassion, dedication, punctuality, or formality. Many Cuban friends have also explained to me that it is an expected part of the culture to flake out on friends from time to time, when you can't deal for whatever reason - and then to avoid them for a month or so out of awkwardness. This may not span all classifications of Cubans of course, but it's what I've been told by various Cuban people. It's a very casual kind of place, not known for its intensity of long-term relationships.

I have found this with all races of people in different parts of the U.S. Especially flakiness.

[StarfishKey]

Originally Posted by TriCounty

I have found this with all races of people in different parts of the U.S. Especially flakiness.

I didn't say anything about races. I said a culture specific to people in this city who share a particular nationality, according to some members of that culture. Regardless, it is silly to deny that Miami has a more superficial culture than most other towns in the US - Miami and LA are far and away the most superficial cities we have. Everybody knows that. So it is bound to affect one's interactions with actual people. In my experience, I have had no such problems with anyone in Miami that so many people complain about, except in the case of Miami Cuban friends. And I asked them directly why, and this is what they told me was the reason. They also said they were sorry, that it was not meant to offend and was not personal, it's just what they grew up to expect, from others and from themselves. I have never experienced this anywhere else I have lived at all, and I have lived in multiple cities, towns, and states. It's not just in Miami, but it's here more than other places.

But generally speaking, if you make friends with superficial and flaky type people, they will treat you in a superficial and flaky manner. If you live in a city where that is encouraged, you may come across it more than in a city where that type of behavior is discouraged. Very simple.

[TriCounty]

Your source:

Originally Posted by StarfishKey

Everybody knows that.

[StreetLegal]

Tough to move to any new city in your late 40's and establish roots/make friends....

[straight shooter]

A smart old person once told me that the problem was that deep inside many people in Miami are miserable and that is the reason why they superficial, fake, and shallow. It's possible, who knows.

[James XV]

Originally Posted by straight shooter

A smart old person once told me that the problem was that deep inside many people in Miami are miserable and that is the reason why they superficial, fake, and shallow. It's possible, who knows.

They're also just generally stupid. I lived in Miami for years

Miami is the most illiterate city in the U.S.

Illiteracy in the USA

The city isn't exactly known for sophisticates with depth of character and knowledge. Just bling and being fake people with massive credit card debt pretending to be something they're not.

South Florida rated most cash-poor in nation - Sun Sentinel

You would never know seeing all of the "bling" in the area. Such a sad place and leaving was the best thing I ever did.