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I am a basket case. I am proud of him for wanting to serve his country but I am not taking this very well. I think about it and as he gets more serious, I am in near tears all the time.
There is family background in the military, but nothing current that he would have grown up around. In fact he has never been around guns. My family does not hunt. I was protective of him as far as video games and toys. Did that backfire for me!!!
I'm going to have a hard time anyway, as he and twin sister are our onlys and having them both go at the same time is going to be major empty nest! But with college at least I can call, and see them.
He will graduate HS in May and I imagine he will be gone soon after. If he signs for 4 years will he be gone for all of it? Do they get to come home?
I guess I have lots of research to do as I am absolutely clueless to this lifestyle.
Gotta go and get some kleenex..........
I think it's more the unknown than anything. I don't know anything about the military or what happens/process and all that.
What will happen, initially, is that he'll be taken into the training process where his every physical need will be met. He'll be clothed, fed, housed and exposed to different people from different places, all the while embarking on a demanding physical regimen which will leave him looking like someone you don't recognize.
He'll also be prodded, poked, stuck and generally denied his humanity in order to make him a team player, rather than an individual. He'll be trained sufficiently to do his job well and he will be expected to do that job...period. No more excuses, no more screwing off, no hiding behind Mom or anyone else. He'll either become trustworthy and dependable, or he'll be sent home without so much as a goodbye. In other words, he'll mature and earn the valuable lesson about being a part of something greater than himself, about putting aside his own selfish desires for the good of the larger group. There is no better training for his future as a family man and productive member of society than to learn that others are more important than himself and that his responsibilities must be met.
After training, he'll be assigned to a unit somewhere, either in the US or overseas, where he will be accepted as a full fledged and fully qualified member of the group and where he WILL do his job to the best of his ability. He will learn self-reliance, self-assurance, compromise, responsibility, how to work with others, tolerance and the meaning of being a man.
He may be sent to the war zone, where he may or may not actually see combat, depending upon his MOS (Military Occupational Specialty). But, whether he does or not, he will return to you different, aged beyond his years and aware of things others never even think of. Yes, he may be hurt or even killed, but that's no more true in combat than it is crossing the street. The threat is just more immediate.
Overall, unless he's found to be a true slacker and coward, you'll forever be proud of his transformation. For the rest of your life, you won't have to make excuses for your son.
Give him room to grow up, Mom, and trust that the Army, which has been making grown men of little boys for generations, will be the best thing which ever happened to him.
I know its different being in the Mom's shoes, I can only tell you from my experience in a wifes shoes. My husband is the only for my in-laws. I never wanted to be a military wife because I grew up around a military installation my whole entire life. I was devistated when he joined. So its safe to say that what your feeling is completely normal.
During basic (BCT) he will have some chances to call home. Even when he is at his AIT (job training) there will be chances also. Depending on how long his AIT is, he may even be able to come home for Christmas Exodus (pretty much what a winter or Christmas break is). Like I said, it all depends on the legnth of his AIT.
After he gets out of AIT and into a regular unit, he can request time off and come home to visit. I can promise you that after he gets to that regular unit things are more relaxed.
My husband has matured and grown so much in so many ways. He has a sense of pride and he enjoys what he does. Its actually extremely close to what he started to go to college for. Looking at him now vs then...he is so much happier with things in general.
The military has been good for us. A growing and learning experience, sometimes hard, but totally worth it. Now, I wouldnt trade this lifestyle for anything. Here in the next year or so my husband will be making the decision on to stay in for the full 20 or not.
He is going to be trained to be the best at being a soldier and at his job. When he does go make sure you write him as much as you can, if he gets deployed write him, email him, send him care packages. With the care packages, make sure you include enough goodies for the other guys too (they share and BOY do they eat!)!!!
Hang in there Mom! You did something right for him to know this early what he wants to do. If he has the passion for it, let him follow that passion.
ETA: Something another Mom who was going through this told me years ago when we started going through this process is that he is not really officially in the Army until he raises his hand and takes the Oath at his BCT graduation.
You have to let him grow up. The military will be an experience he will never forget. He will be different the first time he comes home from basic. You will be happy and proud of him. He may even to decide to stay in and retire. That's what I did. No regrets. I wish I was young enough to do it all over again...
All three of my sons went into the Army, so since about 1988, I've lived in fear for their safety. By the time no. 3 decided to join we made him promise to get at least an associates degree first, which he did. We also got him laser eye surgery for a graduation present which delayed his enlistment be 6 more months (a tactic you could use if your son wears glasses). He was still adamant, so off he went. This about killed me, since he left me with an empty nest.
Here's the thing...all three have loved the Army (the eldest just retired at 39), have seen and done incredible things, and had great adventures (well, one got shot, but he's OK). They would do it again. If your son knows what he wants, that's a good thing. Just know that the recruiters (who have a tough job to do) will tell him anything, so whatever they promise him should be in writing on his contract.
Also make sure to warn him that a lot of young soldiers get into trouble with alcohol when they first get cut loose from home, and the Army doesn't tolerate this behavior the way it used to.
Good luck.
Yep;you have to cut them lose sometime.Its called adulthood and making your way in life. Your daughter and son will be much chaged in the next four years and become more independent;which is what you want really for their sake.You will receive calls form him even if he goes to Iraq or afganistan ;its the 21st century.A freind of mine in afgaistan calls his wife regularly.
To the OP be extremely happy that you have raised your children to be responsible and want to serve their country. The Military will allow for annual leave and often times long weekends so if he is stationed semi close to home he will be able to make it. As a former Marine I was able to make it home often enough but if I was not able to my family could also come to me. I want to say thanks to your family for being true Americans.
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