Help me with my suburban vs. city predicament (Minneapolis, Bloomington: apartment, renter)

[theprincefan]

Ok. I really need some decision-making help. I'm a teacher and a single mom. I was born and raised a big nasty city and really don't want my kids to grow up with the same rough upbringing that I had. I thought I did everything right--graduated, got a career going, got married, had kids, bought a home (and a dog), etc. Well, basically 8 years, two kids and one drunk husband later....it all blew up in my face.

So, then I found myself, technically "homeless and highly mobile." I moved 6 times in 2008 due to my now ex-husband's job relocation and our eventual divorce (couple with the fact I had no home, money, or job at the time as I was staying home with babies). My father talked me into coming to MN to start over. My ex actually followed as he had nowhere to go anyhow, and his kids would be here.

Now, it's two years later. I've had my own apartment for 2 years(lived at dad's the first 4 months I was in MN). The kids have been in the same school system/daycare for 2 years. I have had a good job in my profession for 2 years. HOWEVER...I am finding something I didn't see much of in Los Angeles, there is sort of a prejudice of home owners vs. renters out here in Eden Prairie. I'd LOVE to buy a home out here, but given my situation, I'm lucky if I can get the basics on my salary. I pay an arm and a leg for childcare, and I'm penniless at the end of the month.

I dream to give my kids a home with a puppy and a garden, the whole bit. Heck, throw in the apple pie cooling on the windowsill too!

I work in the Longfellow neighborhood. I've thought about buying there, maybe enrolling my kids in school there. The only issue is I've seen some of the all-to-familiar big city style element there. And I'm not talking about color. I LOVE LOVE the diversity in the Longfellow area schools. I'm talking about kids with foul mouths, saggin' pants, fights at the middle/elementary schools, grafitti, gang talk/movement, etc. I'm so terribly sick of it from having grown up with it.

What do you think? I wonder if I should just keep on renting in the burbs so my girls can live in this sheltered place, go somewhere in between like Bloomington or St. Louis Park, or check out the Longfellow neighborhood more closely.

HELP!!!

[uptown_urbanist]

Yes! I totally agree that there is a strong anti-renter sentiment in the Twin Cities. Unfortunately you'll find it in the city, too, often even in neighborhoods with large numbers of renters. There's definitely the idea that renters are all just passing through and don't care about the neighborhood; renting seems to be seen as something that's just for young people, or maybe people new to the area, but there's something wrong with you if you're older and with a family and don't own a place. I think that's because in MN housing has been so affordable compared to what you find in LA. My brother bought a house just a year out of college, and that's not unusual around here.

I'd check out the Longfellow area more carefully, along with the specific schools. I don't think the suburbs are all that isolated these days, anyway.

[theprincefan]

uptown, yah, in LA, it was opposite because houses are so out-of-reach for most people. If you bought a house, people were like, "How the hell did you manage that??!!"

Anyhow, I was really hurt because I read this family newsletter thing that came out here in Eden Prairie with thoughts from people about the new proposed school boundary changes. One person said that they should only move the renters because they don't contribute to the community. I mean, really? So, I don't take part in fundraisers at my kids' schools? I don't volunteer at the school? I don't give money at church? I don't pay community center fees or childcare fees at the local daycare center? I don't shop here? It is totally absurd. I WISH I could buy a home. I have a great job and great credit, I even have some savings. But does it matter? Not really, because I also have rent, medical insurance, child care, food, clothes, electricity, life insurance, car insurance, car payment, etc, etc to pay. We should all be so lucky to have marriages that last and spouses who can help us pay for a nice cozy home.

Too bad this exists in the city as well!

[uptown_urbanist]

Wow. I don't think it exists anywhere near that bad in the city, or if it does, most people wouldn't dare to say such a thing out loud. It's far more subtle than that, and more like a general belief that "of course" most renters don't care as much about the community because they don't have a long-term financial stake in the area. (there was a thread that touched on that topic on this forum a couple of weeks ago, actually) On the plus side, the view that all renters either should or want to be homeowners means there there are some really good benefits out there to help make it happen!

[theprincefan]

yah. I should add, also, that I pay taxes. I know it's not property tax, but still! RRRrrrr. It just irritates me. And it partly makes me feel like I'd actually rather not be a part of this community. If another area is more "forgiving" of my lowly renter status, I'd rather live there. I hope I can make home ownership a reality soon, but many people I know who own homes and are single seem to have help from family in some kind of way. Either the parent lives in the home, the parents bought or help paid for the home, a family member rents a room in the home, etc. Either that, or they just don't have many expenses other than a home and their own bills (no kids, etc).

Here, they are only outspoken when putting it in writing about these boundary issues in this district. When they're in your face and you say you rent somewhere, you get that cold, "Hmm. Oh, right." Usually I don't mean to say I'm even a renter, but people are good at figuring out where you live by asking what cross streets you live on. THe minute they put it together, there it is...

Ugh.

[Cruz Azul Guy]

Yup, I think you need to get out of Eden Prairie.

[northstar22]

I don't have kids, but in my personal opinion (which doesn't mean much) I wouldn't raise kids in the city. I wouldn't even consider it. There's too many negative elements in the city (crime, drugs, gangs, etc.).

Of course, I can also see that Eden Prairie is cost-prohibitive. One option that you may want to look into is moving further out. You can buy a house somewhere like Le Sueur, Belle Plaine or New Prague for a fraction of the cost of an equivalent place in Eden Prairie, raise your kids in a nice, safe community and have less than a one-hour commute into work.

Besides the three cities I mentioned, other places you may want to look into are:

Jordan
Gaylord
Green Isle
Hamburg
Henderson
Glencoe
Cokato
Maple Lake
Annandale

All are nice, safe small towns/exurbs within an hour of Minneapolis.

[Camden Northsider]

Kazoo- did you realize that you forgot to mention Hamel and Nowthen on your list???

OK, you got me- I just wanted to play the game of arbitrarily throwing out random small towns/exurbs in the west metro area with absolutely no connection to anything the OP stated.

To the OP- don't listen to the fear-mongers and move to the city. Once you're here you'll wonder why you (or others) ever thought it was necessary to live in the 'burbs in the first place.

[golfgal]

You can't judge an entire city on one person's letter to an editor in a paper. That is a VERY heated issue in EP and it is going to bring out the worst in people. Your true friends don't care one way or another where you live and as for the rest of them, who really cares what they think? You are going to run into "attitudes" everywhere be it renters, what color your car is, how you style your hair. You just need to learn to let it slide-and it is a good lesson for your kids to learn as well.

Honestly, for the instability your kids have had over their lives I would be very hesitant to pull them out of another school unless THEY want to move.

[golfgal]

I just saw on your other post that you could probably afford a home in the $175K range. Have you considered looking at townhomes in EP area? As a single mom, it would be a great situation not having to worry about lawncare, outside maintenance or snow removal and it would allow you to buy a home like you want. I just did a quick search and there are 94 townhomes in the EP school district for under $175K, there are SEVERAL that are under 100K (they are more condoish though and probably not great for kids). If you could find something you liked it would probably be LESS than rent. Just a thought.