Young Family Making Friends in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis, St. Paul: 2013, home)

[chrisroane]

So we haven't actually moved here yet, but we still are wanting to move here as early in 2013 as we can.

With the help of this community, I think we have a very realistic look in what to expect when moving here. The biggest concern we have is how difficult it will be to meet new people.

My wife and I are in our late 20's and we have a 3 year old and a 14 month old girl. My wife is a stay at home mom and I work for a company located in DC out of my home office. We don't know anyone in the twin cities area and we don't have any family in the area.

Hearing how most people in the area have been there all their lives and are in tight nit social groups, I'm not sure how we are going to make friends. I'm a compulsive planner, and I want to have a plan of attack in how to integrate our family into the area as soon as we relocate. Do you have any suggestions for a family in our situation for meeting new people?

[MnMomma]

Your wife will have no trouble meeting other moms through ECFE, Moms Club, MOPS, music classes or any of the other popular kid activities. We didn't know too many people when we first moved here but our kids were definitely the key to meeting a ton of people.

[uptown_urbanist]

I think you will be fine. A LOT of people in your position move to the Twin Cities every year, and most of them don't already have friends or family in the area. You have the added bonus of having young kids, which gives you an even easier way to connect with other people. Even people who grew up in the Twin Cities and who suddenly have young kids likely need to expand their friendship circles, especially stay-at-home parents who want to have other people to hang out with during daytime hours when their other friends are likely at work.

With that in mind, I suggest:

(a) sign up for ECFE classes (early childhood family education) -- these are offered everywhere in the metro area. Check with whatever school district you land in to get the class schedule. In Minneapolis they have classes during both the daytime and during the evenings.

(b) join meetup groups. This will likely be especially relevant for your wife. There are SAHM (and just parents in general) meetup groups for all over the metro area. Some have a broad geographic focus, others are more specific. Sign up for a couple, if you can; maybe one for your immediate neighborhood or city, another more regional. They tend to have a range of activities, from casual potlucks or playgroups or playground playdates, to "moms night out" and that kind of thing. Some have stuff for men, too, while other local groups are more mom-centric.

(c) get involved in your neighborhood. This seems to vary more by specific location within the metro area, but in Minneapolis and in some suburbs (and I think St. Paul) there are very specific neighborhood organizations. A lot of them have facebook pages, have local newspapers, email lists, plan events, and otherwise just offer the opportunity to get to know your neighbors. Obviously you'll want to get to know the neighbors on your own block, but the organizations make it easier to get more instantly connected to people who live near you that you might not otherwise as easily meet.

If your oldest child goes to preschool you'll likely have opportunities to meet other parents there, too. Also with luck you'll have some nice coworkers. And there are meetup groups and lots of volunteer activities for the two of you without the kids. You won't become best friends with everyone you meet, but it shouldn't take too long to at least start to know people. Your wife can check out activities at local libraries, too; in addition to storytimes they often have other programs, usually free. You may or may not meet people through those venues, but parents with kids tend to be pretty chatty, and I've noticed that a lot of the parents with kids that I've met come from other places, so either are in your shoes (i.e. new themselves) or have been there before. Don't expect instant best friends, but get proactive and you should start to feel comfortable and settling in pretty fast. And I don't want to overly focus on the family aspect, but I really do think that having young kids gives you a big instant in that the people who DO complain about meeting people simply don't have. I think it becomes tougher when you're older or have older kids (and are therefore likely to have an overflowing schedule with work/family/school obligations and with little time left over), but as a young couple with young kids it's a completely different scenario. It will probably be a bit tougher for you than for your wife (although that will depend on your work), but with luck she'll make some good friends through the daytime kid stuff and you'll like her friends (and their spouses), too.

[golfgal]

I agree, ECFE is the place to start. We are still friends with people we met in ECFE over 15 years ago. MN is no different than any other place, if you are outgoing and make an effort, you will meet people, if you sit back and wait for people to come to you, no, you won't make friends. One of our best friends is someone we met at a McDonald's play land many years ago on a rainy day. They had kids the same ages as our kids and we started chatting and ended up doing a lot of things together with the kids. It is not hard to meet people here if you are friendly.

[1stpontiac]

Good suggestions already, so I'll add to also just be patient. I'm going out with a coworker's family tonight for the first time, and it just took some time to get to know people well enough to hang out outside of work.

[chrisroane]

Thanks for all of the useful information! I'll make a note of this for future reference.