Transplant, mid 40s, single - how to build a social circle (Minneapolis: transplants, rental)

[Jodie603]

I've lived here nearly 3 years and have been very active in trying to make friends through meetups, volunteering, singles groups, church. I've lived other places - Colorado, Calif, Md., DC, Va., and Ohio - I've always made friends easily til I moved here. I know Minnesotans are generally well heeled with family and friends and I'm sincerely glad for you. However, for those who aren't from here, I'm finding this to be a very lonely place to live. So I thought I'd post this question.

A social worker/therapist told me this is the way Minnesota is - don't take it personally - people don't need to welcome outsiders as they have enough family and friends.

OK, so then is the best answer to move away to a place with more transplants? Before I leave, I want to try as many new ideas as I can.
Jodie

[uptown_urbanist]

In Minneapolis, anyway, most of the neighborhood associations are pretty active, and depending on neighborhood include a lot of people either from other places or who are natives but still open to new friends. At the very least everyone has a shared interest in the neighborhood in common. If you're at all political there's always volunteering at the very local level. I've met people in Minneapolis through community education classes (you could also sign up to teach one; that plugs you into a network both of fellow teachers as well as students) and by volunteering. I know you've said you've done the volunteering thing without luck, but don't give up. I've found (both in Minneapolis and elsewhere) that some volunteer sites are better suited to making friends than are others. In general I think smaller, more grassroots places are better than the big places, at least from the pure friend viewpoint. Consider trying to join a board of a nonprofit you value, especially (if you have the time) a smaller working board that needs board members to actively get involved. The nice thing about board membership (of the working variety) is that it involves a set number of people, you meet on a regular basis, and you all have a shared interest in common.

I don't know if this always holds true, but I've found language classes (either community ed or at a college) are a great way to meet people; the classes themselves are all about communication, and you can invite your fellow classmates to meet up outside of class for informal dinners or coffee and language practice.

I know from previous threads that not everyone agrees with this, but I think some parts of the Twin Cities are easier to "crack" than are others. I think it's easier in the city (at least outside of the most family-oriented neighborhoods) than in the suburbs, especially if you're not married with kids.

[Jodie603]

Thanks Uptown. You gave me some great new ideas.

I've been taking a community fitness class in Roseville for 18 months - I should add a language class too.

I live near Roseville - and people have said where I live isn't helping my situation. But I'm just not up for home ownership or a single family rental (snowblowing, shoveling, etc - I travel a lot for my job) in those cool neighborhoods like Longfellow and Como Park which don't have many apts, and I'm not as urban as Uptown or Downtown, though I work in downtown Mpls and really like working there.

How do I find out about board openings? I'm on the board of my professional association - I should look into nonprofits as well. Also not sure what you mean about grassroots volunteering... I'll have to look into that.

Thanks much for your input.
Jodie