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From my experience what will happen in a divorce decree if there is debt, is that assets will be ordered sold in order for both parties to come out free & clear. If there is equity above and beyond that then it's split.
The hardest thing to learn is that the living standard for both people will be greatly reduced. Living expenses will only slightly go down, but income will greatly so. The sooner people accept this the easier it will be from an emotional and financial standpoint. It's not unusual for a woman with children to have to move to cheaper accomodations and it's not usual for a man to complain about diminished spending capacity due to child support. Encourage him to make sure he lives up to his responsibility in that regard.
He's got no issues with CS, he doesn't want to begrudge his children anything and he's planning to set it up so it goes straight out of his paycheck into the "system" in Texas; that's often how it's done anyway. Money is taken out from the payor's check and sent to a state agency, then it is disbursed to the payee. That way there won't be any fights about late/delinquent child support. He'll always be able to prove that he paid it just by showing his paycheck stubs.
He knows he'll be worse off after the divorce, but she can't seem to accept that SHE will be too.
It's a shock to the person who's being left, and by what you're saying I'd presume it's her. The whole thing takes time to digest. Life won't be the same from any standpoint.
If he's amenable things might go smoother if he helps her find a place and assists in the move. It's a scary thing having to take care of these things yourself when you suddenly feel helpless and lost.
It's a shock to the person who's being left, and by what you're saying I'd presume it's her. The whole thing takes time to digest. Life won't be the same from any standpoint.
If he's amenable things might go smoother if he helps her find a place and assists in the move. It's a scary thing having to take care of these things yourself when you suddenly feel helpless and lost.
He left her, yes...but it should not have come as a shock to her. They'd been in and out of counseling, he'd been sleeping on the couch for a long time, and they fought constantly. She's eager to be rid of him, but she wants to take him for all he's worth in the process.
He has offered all kinds of help to her only to have it thrown back in his face. He is trying to be amicable and he's trying to keep communication civil but she just screams at him.
I should reiterate that I did not meet him until after they had separated and decided to divorce, so I am not the impetus for it.
I don't understand. If you are so touchy about comments regarding you private life, why even bring up all the drama and details, esp. dishing out about how lazy etc. the ex is (coming from your biased viewpoint)? How is it material to the mortgage discussion, that there is a boyfriend, an ex, you? Meow!!
Also, it isn't rude to point out the conflict potential. She still is his wife and you are just a girlfriend. It is good advice to keep out of that powder keg. Why do you care about her financials, anyways?
You can wrap things like alimony in a neutral income summary and leave out the juicy details or be prepared that people comment on them, even if you don't like it.
Screw her over and take away the house, and you're only really hurting the kids. Those CS payments should cover the mortgage and then some, so why do you care if she can get a mortgage or not?
Screw her over and take away the house, and you're only really hurting the kids. Those CS payments should cover the mortgage and then some, so why do you care if she can get a mortgage or not?
It's not up to me; I'm not a decision-maker in this negotiation and I've done my best to stay out of it. I was merely curious whether she could actually get a mortgage.
I'm going to ask the mods to close the thread; thanks to the people who tried to answer my question.
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