2 years later and still not meeting people!!?? (Hendersonville, Germantown: fit in, transplants)

[kelsupastar]

Hello all,
I struggled with what to title this post, as I don't want to come across desperate. Was thinking about "bored in the 'burbs", but that sounds WAY too much like a personal add.

My husband and I moved here from WI about 2 years ago, and are STILL having such a hard time acclamating to the area. We live in a large apartment complex where people do more ignoring than socializing. We have no kids, so don't have that to connect us with others. We are not religious, and not attend church.

We live in Hendersonville, and it is not a good fit. I like East Nashville, but question if we are young (29 and 32) or "trendy" enough to live there, or other popular places in the city. We love live music and a good cocktail (or 3 ), but also love hanging out at home.

I am wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences. It is getting so bad that we are thinking of moving back home, which would be a shame because we really do like Nashville. Can anyone suggest groups or activities to try, or have any ideas about neighborhoods where I don't have to wear 300 dollar jeans to fit in?

I really appreciate any and all opinions!

[BirdieBelle]

I am sorry you feel so disconnected. Nashville is in the Bible belt and is very family-oriented, so those two categories you mentioned are big connectors.
So if you don't fit in with those groups, I would say you should think about moving to East Nashville because you are definitely in the 'burbs. If East nashville is where you think you belong.
But why do you think that? Have you spent a lot of time there? I am curious about the "$300 jeans" comment. What does this represent?
At any rate, I say who cares how old you are? You certainly are not geezers. I know people who live in East Nash who range from 20s to 50s. It doesn't strike me as a college crowd. If you like what the area has to offer and you get out into the community to get involved, you should be fine.
Also, maybe look at the different groups on meetup.com to find people with similar interests.
Good luck!

[Anony-Momma]

We are preparing to move to Nashville, more than a decade older than you, with kids - so I don't know what is there, actually, BUT I have been in your shoes. When I was your age, with no kids, we were new in another state (not in the Bible Belt), and I looked for unusual places to volunteer and also we jumped in at a church (we are Christians).

We moved around a lot with jobs before we had kids - and I tried to do things that were unique to the area, things I could not do anywhere else.

Do you have time to volunteer at a local museum? Does the zoo need docents? I met wonderful people in a docent position and had experiences I would never have had, otherwise.

What about classes? Are there local community education classes? What do the two of you like to do? Usually, community ed and sometimes community college offers a variety of classes. Cake decorating. Cooking. Finances/stock market. Public speaking. Learning about wines. Home brewing. Adult team sports (baseball, volleyball, etc).

I know you say you're not religious - is that set in stone? The idea of small groups through local churches gives you a ready-made support system to socialize with, too, and you'll find people in all different places, spiritually, from folks who are solid in their faith and what they believe to folks who question everything and haven't figured it all out, yet. Most people are somewhere in between.

Is there a newcomer's club in your area? Supper club?

Have you looked at charities and church web sites for ministries you could join - I'm talking about where you deliver meals to shut ins or other community service, "doing" kinds of things where you'd be meeting other people and interacting with them. A church based service group might be a nice compromise for a non-religious couple.

Good luck - I have been in your situation, and yes, I agree, building that social network can be a challenge - and not just in Nashville.

[Anony-Momma]

Is Welcome Wagon still around?

Here's what I found when I searched "Welcome Wagon":

· www.newcomersclub.com/tn.html

[Anony-Momma]

Is there a performing arts group in Hendersonville, something with "Players" in the name, where amateur actors and creative people are needed to perform and make sets etc?

[yank283]

I lived in Antioch, Bellevue, and Hermitage (in that order) and have never found the sense of community I have since moving to East Nashville. I did live (rent) in Sylvan Park, which I did love, but I couldn't afford to buy there at the time. There are lots of northern transplants that live in East Nashville/Inglewood as well. You should check it out, just be aware of any issues that you might have with a urban inner ring neighborhood as it won't be a ho-hum experience like renting in a apt in Hendersonville/Bellevue/Brentioch/Cool Springs. I can walk to restaurants/bars (and not chains located in every other city), music venues, Shelby Park, take a bus downtown, or a $10 cab ride. My two cents, I will never live in the suburbs again, it's either the country or near the city for me. Your definitly not too old, there's plenty of non-pretentious 20, 30, 40, 50+ somethings over here, it's part of what makes this neighborhood so great. You do need to be wary about the large apt complexes in East Nashville/Inglewood though, they can be pretty sketchy, I would look for a house or duplex on a good street on Craigslist. Anyway, I would give it a shot before you move out of town. Good luck.

Check out this website -

http://theeastsidestory.com/

[vivelafrance]

Originally Posted by kelsupastar

Hello all,
I struggled with what to title this post, as I don't want to come across desperate. Was thinking about "bored in the 'burbs", but that sounds WAY too much like a personal add.

My husband and I moved here from WI about 2 years ago, and are STILL having such a hard time acclamating to the area. We live in a large apartment complex where people do more ignoring than socializing. We have no kids, so don't have that to connect us with others. We are not religious, and not attend church.

We live in Hendersonville, and it is not a good fit. I like East Nashville, but question if we are young (29 and 32) or "trendy" enough to live there, or other popular places in the city. We love live music and a good cocktail (or 3 ), but also love hanging out at home.

I am wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences. It is getting so bad that we are thinking of moving back home, which would be a shame because we really do like Nashville. Can anyone suggest groups or activities to try, or have any ideas about neighborhoods where I don't have to wear 300 dollar jeans to fit in?

I really appreciate any and all opinions!

I'm a Hendersonvillian and agree with you that it can be hard to "fit in" if you're not over 35, have 2-3 kids, and drive an SUV! Moreover, most of the nicer apartment complexes are just families waiting on homes to be built so residents don't have much of an interest in getting to know each other. A lot of the social activities here are centered around women's clubs, little league, school, and church.

You are definitely young enough for East Nashville and you might consider other areas too like Belmont/Hillsboro, Germantown, Sylvan Park, 12 South, or the Gulch.

Although, I have loved living in Hendersonville, I am moving to Germantown next week. I'm ready for a change of pace. I know that there will be a lot of adjustments to make...like installing a security system for the first time ever! Hopefully you'll find a place you "fit in" and are happy.

[kelsupastar]

A big "thanks" for the replies. I completely understand that this happens to lots of people in all cities, in lots of different life circumstances. Add to that a big dose of holiday nostalgia, and its a recipe for disaster! My husband and I are going to start looking seriously in East Nashville, and I think it might be a lifesaver.

As for some of the suggestions, I have looked into meetup groups, unfortunately the ones we got involved in pretty much fizzled out right away. I do volunteer as well for a local organization but recently finished the biggest event of the year, so everyone is taking a break it seems. Also, the great people I met through that live in....wait for it...East Nasvhille.

Either way, I have been doing some reading on the great information shared here, especially about specific neighborhoods and am feeling more "educated" about what might work for my little family!

Thanks again all! I will continue reading and offer any help I can to others with questions

[Steve_TN]

I never got beyond a polite nod at the 2 apartment complexes I lived at in the Nashville area. When we bought a house, things got much more social.

[paulalanr]

To original poster: haven't read the rest of this thread, but I can totally sympathize with your situation. I'm 34, single, professional, have no kids, and also don't attend a church. I've been in Nashville a year now, and haven't met a single person that I've done anything social with. I admit I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, but I have put some effort into finding people! Nashville seems like an incredibly cliquish, disintegrated, and disorganized town socially. There seems to be plenty of potential here, but friendliness is in short supply, and the obsession with status and appearance is really disappointing. I'm actively trying to move away myself, but I do wish you better luck!