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My family and I just got back from having dinner. We ran into a friend of ours we havent seen in many years. He asked what we were up to, I told him about our plans for moving to Keene, and before I could finish, he was like NO dont do it!!! He then proceeded to give a list of reasons for us not moving out there. I guess tonight it really got to me. For the first time I actually feel confused. Can someone from So Cali really be happy back east? Sigh, I dont know. I am just really tired of people always telling me we are making a HUGE mistake by moving. Yes I know it will be a different way of life, but that is what we are looking for. One of my daughters wants to stay back here in Cali, and we are fine with that (well not fine, I will miss her very very much!! But she is 22 and time for her to live her life). I understand it gets cold in NH, I personally love the cold. I love cloudy days, I prefer them to just plain sunny skies. I love rain (when we get it). Yes we arent experienced with snow, but should that be a reason for not moving? There are mother nature issues in EVERY state. I dont know how many of you have been through an earthquake, but let me tell you, I have never experienced a more terrifing(sp?) feeling in my life. And I dont want to be out here for "The Big One", the thought of it keeps me up at night. So dealing with snow to me, seems like not that big of a deal. Haha, I say that now, only because I have never dealt with it. Ask me again, after my first spin out or driving off the road...LOL
Out here we have heat, heat, and more heat, then we have heat mixed with smog. I am just tired of the whole Cali way of life. Sigh, I dont know what I am really saying, I am just confused I guess I am looking for someone to say hey, that is a great idea, and I wish you and your family luck on your move. I am tired of people making me feel like I am nuts for wanting to move.
Suzet, you are definately not crazy. Moving across country is scary...if it weren't then all of the nay sayers that feel it is their duty to tell you all about the differences between your current and future state would have the courage to do it!!! Sure you're going to have culture shock, that's inevitable, but you are not going into this with your family without doing your homework. You have been on here asking questions, checking websites, you're planning a trip in December. Don't let them get you down! I'm in the same boat. I know it's going to be hard. I have four children and live within three blocks of my mother and father, my sister and her husband and three kids, and my grandmother. Leaving them is going to be the hardest, but I have to look out for my own families well-being and happiness. I'm tired of the crime, the failing school system, the illegals, the cost of home owners insurance rising, and the fear of the next big hurricane down here in FL. We took 2 direct hits in 2004 from Frances and Jeanne and I don't want to go through that again!! Hold your head up and focus instead on what you and your family will be gaining by making this move. You can send your "friend" a postcard of your family enjoying the seasons while he's suffering from heat exhaustion!
Location: On a back country trail just toodling along...
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What is right for YOU, is not always right for someone else. For me, my heart is in New England, and I think yours is too. You are letting other people get to you. Don't let them.
Boo and Kelley, thank you so much for your kind words to me. I actually started to get all teary eyed.....i'll blame the hormones. I know it shouldnt matter what others think, but for some reason it got to me tonight.
Boo, I find it hard to prepare for quakes too. I do have my flashlight and water though. It is the emotional stuff that happends after the main quake is over....That is the hard stuff to deal with, for me anyway. Because they keep coming, one after the other, you cant calm down. I dont want to be here for the next. I agree, the final chapter isnt written until I am six feet under.
Kelley, I think we have some of the same issues in our states. The illegals, heat, smog, over crowding, etc.... The hurricanes, I can only imgaine how scarey they have to be. Wow, I am sure it will be hard for you to leave all your family members. That will be the toughest part for me too. I told my daughter when she comes to visit she will fall in love with Keene and then want to move to be with us. Haha, I like the idea of sending all my friends who said dont move, a big fat postcard and telling them how happy we are in our new home!!
A nice thing about moving to Keene is that you are a half-hour from Brattleboro, Vermont!
Don't let the naysayers get to you. There are people who naysay everything, so when they do, it's about the naysaying and not about the content of what they are naysaying.
Naysaying is like criticizing. You have to think about the substance of the criticism and also about the critic's motivation. Two different issues. Some criticisms deserve to be heeded and some do not. Some people who criticize are trying to help and some are acting from their their own issues or agendas. Some people criticize to control people or to put them down. Some people are just negative or oppositional and criticize everything. But the substance of the criticism and the motivation for the criticism need to be considered separately.
So I suggest you listen to what the naysayers say and then analyze it, as you are already doing. Know that you will have some culture shock. New England is very different from southern California. The people, their values and their attitudes are probably very different. You have already decided that the cold is better than the heat. And, although earthquakes can happen anywhere, you do not really have to worry about serious earthquakes in New England. In Keene, you do have to think about flooding, but I would imagine you can discuss that with your realtor and find a place out of harm's way.
Change is hard. I know. I have been on these forums for a year, researching a move to Brattleboro. I am still in Brooklyn, and I may be for some time. I can't seem to tear myself away from what is familiar.
I got my hair cut today, at a neighborhood hair place. I listened to the Brooklyn accents and forceful speech. Instead of getting annoyed, I actively enjoyed the sense of place. Thoughts of moving have sensitized me to what I would be leaving behind. I think this is part of the resistance to change, or at least to the anticipation of change.
Follow your gut. And if you dislike New England, you can always move back to southern California. A lot of people do leave northern New England because of the cold, even people who have lived there for a long time. But some people really love the winter. I'm used to 4 seasons, but I don't like the humid summer heat hear in NYC, and I don't really like the intense cold of the winter. Nor do I like driving in the snow, although I can do it. (Ice is another matter.) But you can bundle up in the cold and be comfortable outside. You can't bundle down in the heat. You have to escape to someplace with air conditioning. Or go swimming.
Suzet, drag these people to the computer and sit them down in front of the Keene Pumpkin Festival thread... maybe they'll "get it"
I agree Valerie. I have so enjoyed the pics Tara put up, and am looking forward to some more (hint hint Tara). After thinking about this situation, I still feel in my heart as Green Man stated, that NE is in my heart, and then I found Keene. It seems strange that a place can effect you, that you never really spent time in. But it feels like the right place for you. The only place I have been to in the East is NYC. Wow that is way too much for me to handle. Talk about feeling anxious... Yes Green Man, I did let them get to me tonight, but now that my head is back on straight..lol, I will let them say what they feel they need to, and I will take it in stride. After all, I will be the one in beautiful Keene , and they will be the ones stuck in smelly smoggy traffic that goes on forever, and have to deal with this crazy heat we get out here.
A nice thing about moving to Keene is that you are a half-hour from Brattleboro, Vermont!
Don't let the naysayers get to you. There are people who naysay everything, so when they do, it's about the naysaying and not about the content of what they are naysaying.
Naysaying is like criticizing. You have to think about the substance of the criticism and also about the critic's motivation. Two different issues. Some criticisms deserve to be heeded and some do not. Some people who criticize are trying to help and some are acting from their their own issues or agendas. Some people criticize to control people or to put them down. Some people are just negative or oppositional and criticize everything. But the substance of the criticism and the motivation for the criticism need to be considered separately.
So I suggest you listen to what the naysayers say and then analyze it, as you are already doing. Know that you will have some culture shock. New England is very different from southern California. The people, their values and their attitudes are probably very different. You have already decided that the cold is better than the heat. And, although earthquakes can happen anywhere, you do not really have to worry about serious earthquakes in New England. In Keene, you do have to think about flooding, but I would imagine you can discuss that with your realtor and find a place out of harm's way.
Change is hard. I know. I have been on these forums for a year, researching a move to Brattleboro. I am still in Brooklyn, and I may be for some time. I can't seem to tear myself away from what is familiar.
I got my hair cut today, at a neighborhood hair place. I listened to the Brooklyn accents and forceful speech. Instead of getting annoyed, I actively enjoyed the sense of place. Thoughts of moving have sensitized me to what I would be leaving behind. I think this is part of the resistance to change, or at least to the anticipation of change.
Follow your gut. And if you dislike New England, you can always move back to southern California. A lot of people do leave northern New England because of the cold, even people who have lived there for a long time. But some people really love the winter. I'm used to 4 seasons, but I don't like the humid summer heat hear in NYC, and I don't really like the intense cold of the winter. Nor do I like driving in the snow, although I can do it. (Ice is another matter.) But you can bundle up in the cold and be comfortable outside. You can't bundle down in the heat. You have to escape to someplace with air conditioning. Or go swimming.
Hey there Arel!! Haha, yes I wont be too far from Brattleboro. For the last year, I didnt think I would end up in NH either. I thought I found my home in Manchester, VT. But I dont know, the more I researched it, I found things lacking that I felt I needed to be comfortable. Someone suggested Keene, and that was all it took. I fell in love. I was concerned about the flooding, as that scares me as much as quakes do. The homes I have been looking at so far have all said N for flood zone. There were a couple that were U, I crossed them off my list!
I know you have been dealing for awhile making the decision to move to Brat, I think you eventually will make that move. From all your posts, it is in your heart too. I know what you mean about familarity (sp?), it will definitely be hard to not be able to go to a fave restaurant or the place where you have gotten your hair done for the past 15 years, or even driving down a road that you learned how to drive on. That does make me a little sad. But it isnt like I will never be there again to visit. My oldest is staying here, and my hubby will be doing the bi-coastal thing for awhile. So there are 2 reasons to visit. Driving in the snow has me a bit nervous, but also excited to learn something new. You guys just have to have patience with me. LOL. If you get behind someone driving 10 miles per hour, it just might be me. So try to not honk too much. I have always told everyone who tells me why would you want to freeze to death out there, that you can always pile on, but cant take it all off (well you can in some places..haha, just like in Brat) when it is roasting outside.
From the people I have talked to on this board, I think I have gotten a good feel for how people are in NH and in VT. I find most everyone to be very helpful and happy to give their thoughts on what is what. I am grateful for that. I have learned alot.
Suzet I had the same exact thing happen to me.. My announcment that I was moving up north was always followed by a *gasp* and why would you want to leave paradise (Florida).. To which when I was done hysterically laughing like a little girl I had to then proceed to tell them why when its 83 on Christmas day like it was last year its not paradise to me.. My family told me don't do it.. My mother gave me constant guilt trips about never seeing my brother grow up, he's 8, leaving my sister behind, and leaving her.. People said they'd give me a year and I'd be back. I didn't get goodbyes I got see ya in a year. Everyone tried to scare the crap outta me with the cold weather, and snow. Thats all they could focus on.. They didn't wanna mention the beautiful mountains, the much nicer people, the festivals, the parks, soft grass, awsome homes, changing colors, slower pace of life etc. Nope the best they could do was oh its cold.. Well if thats the worst thing coming out of this, snow and cold well ohhhh I'm sooooooo scared. I'm pretty sure that I've dissapointed a lot of people becasue I've lasted this long. I've actually had two family members visit and are now moving up, they're fed up with the heat and misery of Florida too... EEK sorry all you Keeners, I'm making the population grow!!!! I dunno why people feel the need to put other people down when they say they're moving.. Jealousy maybe. Perhaps for them they've found their Keene and can't imagine why anyone would leave. Don't worry about what other people are saying, do what makes you happy. I did and as terrible as it is to say it, I do not miss my family enough to ever move away from here. There would have to be a major event to make that happen, and even then I don't know if I'd move. If the move is what you want then its not a mistake to you. You only live once.
Suzet - We did not make as "drastic" a move as you did, we only moved about 300 miles, but you would have thought we were moving to the moon! We suspected there would be a lot of "negativity", so we didn't even mention it until we had our rental secured and hubby had a job - then we told everyone and off we went.....which made everyone think we were crazier than we really are - they thought we moved on a "whim" and hadn't thought about it at all <g>.
We "left behind" family and friends - some have been to visit us, some haven't. That's their choice. We are happy where we are and that's what matters. We were not happy in NY - no matter how much family and friends we have there - we knew we had to make the move for US. Was it selfish? Maybe, but we went with our gut.
You will have more "culture shock" and "weather shock" than we had, but if it's the right move, you'll know. You may feel out of place for awhile, it took us a little less than a year to truly become "comfortable" in our new area....that's normal.
What I would suggest is that you rent first - not because you may want to move back to California, but to explore your new state and decide where you want to put down your roots. I'd be willing to bet that once you finally get out here, you will love it and will wonder why you ever doubted the move in the first place. Things will be different, but it's such fun learning new customs, new places, new people, new phrases. The other day I found myself describing something as "wicked good" - I stopped and laughed - that's a common expression up here and I had never used it before....guess I've made the "transformation"
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. Can someone from So Cali really be happy back east? Sigh, I dont know
). I understand it gets cold in NH, I personally love the cold. I love cloudy days, I prefer them to just plain sunny skies. I love rain (when we get it
. I know it shouldnt matter what others think, but for some reason it got to me tonight.
. I dont want to be here for the next. I agree, the final chapter isnt written until I am six feet under.
). After thinking about this situation, I still feel in my heart as Green Man stated
