Stress in Middle and High School- Millburn, Westfield, Chatham etc. Please help! (Cranford: 2015, top schools)
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I am trying to decide between many top school districts- millburn, westfield, chatham, new providence etc. I am having troubles deciding how different these schools really are when it comes to school stress. I want my children to work very hard and if they get into AP's eventually that is great, but I hear that each school presents different levels of stress even though they all are top schools. I have friends in Millburn, and they say the stress really picks up in 6th grade. This seems early and have a hard time thinking my 6th grader should endure this at such a young age. Is this true for Westfield, Chatham etc? Are they all the same in the end if your child goes into accelerated/honors and eventually AP programs. Or schools outside of Millburn make more an effort to keep the stress levels out of the middle school, and allow it to pick up in highschool if the child chooses to pursue higher level AP classes.
I don't know what to do as Millburn gives my family the best commute, has great services nearby (ie. traders joes, all banks, town center, library, train station etc), and more diverse. Other towns feel more removed as we both commute to city and would add about 15 minutes to our commutes.
Please comment on school stress for each district from middle school on....
Stress is a very personal thing. How can generalizations be made for an entire school district? Your kid might be very stressed while another kid in the same class handles it very well. It all depends on their personality. I remember taking AP classes back in the day and there was this one kid that was always a nervous wreck and looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack at all times. Meanwhile I was not stressed at all. Are you the type of parent that asks your kid why they got an A- and not an A+? That plays a big factor too...a stressed parent usually results in a stressed child...
Original poster here- I am not saying I want no stress. I completely accept that there will be stress in all good school districts especially if your child is above average and is able to get into honors classes. I just hear that some districts are more manageable than others even if it is a top district. And some districts start killing you with homework early. I wanted people's views on this. I am not the type of parent that expects perfection by any means. I want my kids to do the best they can, but I also don't want them to be in a system that the bar is so much higher than other top 10 districts.
I have kids in the Millburn school system. They are very different. One of my children is intellectually curious, sharp, scientific minded and observant. He's a little scattered but gets As and Bs. If he was my only child, my perception of MMS would be an easy one: Aplus. I'm forever amazed at the level in which he's being taught....from content to methodology. Lots of homework but not so that he doesn't have time for sports. He has nice friends....a little geeky but polite, responsible and self assured. Our experience with him has been beyond excellent and I think they've takrn a kid that might have been bored elsewhere and turned him into a responsible student with good command of himself.
My other child is artsy and she's struggled much more. She finds the work level to be too much....too detailed, too expanded, too much everything. She's struggled socially even though she's adorable and kind and a good kid. But she's absent minded and her sharp friends have little tolerances of it. This is not an easy place for a kid that has their heads in the clouds....
Good resources if you have an IEp. Nice kids. Kind teachers.....
The extracurricular stuff is all through town..which is ok other than it might have helped my daughter socially.
Many of the top schools in New Jersey put a lot of pressure and stress on the students. Not only is it for academic reasons, but for social reasons as well.
Millburn is notorious for this. They felt a lot of pressure to be the #1 high school in New Jersey.
Even though you didn’t ask about West Windsor/Plainboro, I found a recent New York Times article illuminating. Now the parents are at odds with each other, and it’s apparently broken down along racial lines:
I know people in all of them (with children in middle and high school).
MIllburn is the most competitive, and "diverse" in terms of huge % Asian and Indian.
Summit is the most diverse, economically. Schooling is good, not excellent, but with that parents may have more diverse expectations (vs. in Millburn where the type A parents all want the same thing - Excellence - and their student to be #1).
Westfield similar to Summit, but the lower-end economic group is smaller.
Chatham will have the "popular" types, ie, connected, social parents with excellent jobs (and many SAHM in all these districts). Very good schooling.
Madison will not be as competitive and is a smaller town, and good sense of community.
New Providence will be the most normal and is a much smaller school district than the others.
That's just my observations based on many conversations with residents of those towns.
Last edited by snuffybear; 12-30-2015 at 06:07 PM..
Regarding the NY Times article above, when I read it, I thought, wow that's exactly like what I hear about Millburn/Short Hills.
Impressive list of resources, NJMemories! And great these schools are dealing with the issue.
Thank you! It did occur to me that article could definitely be describing many wealthy, competitive communities (yes, I did think of Millburn). I read it on Christmas Day and it was the first article I thought of while reading the original post.
I am glad the schools are starting to realize that the pressure is a real problem.
Also, I forgot to say the Chatham is known for having a "Chattitude".
I'd prefer Madison myself if I was raising children. It is pretty, which an adorable downtown, and very good schools, but not as pressure-packed as Millburn and Chatham. The high school is excellent!
Actually, all of these towns are beautiful. I love the Revolutionary War history associated with Chatham, Madison, and Morristown.
Wow, just wow. Let the kids be themselves, and everything will work out. I could never be a helicopter parent. Let them be. Whatever classes they take are fine. I wish parents wouldn't put all these expectations on kids.
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And great these schools are dealing with the issue.
It did occur to me that article could definitely be describing many wealthy, competitive communities (yes, I did think of Millburn). I read it on Christmas Day and it was the first article I thought of while reading the original post.
