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That is a joke, incidentally, I could never feel comfortable using in the NM forum. If you want a reason why I miss NJ, this is it. I can tell a joke like that to anyone at home. Here, there would be instant rebuke.
I don't exactly consider that PC...could get many Catholics's knickers in a twist
An English, Scottish and Irish couple decide to go out golfing one day... the woman get to tee off first so the English woman steps up to the tee, sets her ball and takes a swing...she go flying up in the air...lands on her backside and there she lay all exposed. Her husband says, "good grief woman... you haven't any panies on!"..she replies "with the house keeping money you give me, I can't afford any panties!". So husband hands her a ten pound note and say "go and get yourself some panties!" Next, the Scottish woman gets up to tee off and the same thing happens... and her husband says "for God sakes woman... you have ney knickers on"... she says "with the hoose keepin' money you give me, I canny afford ney knickers"..so hubby hands her a 5 pound note and says "now go and get yourself some knickers hen". Next the Irish wife steps up to the tee..same thing! The husbands say "for goodness sakes woman, where's ya knickers!"..she also states "with the house keepin' money you give me, I can't afford no knickers!".. so hubby responds.."well here's a colm, at least tidy yourself up".
Sue and Janet, two married girls go out to the bar for drinks one night. The end up having too many and decide to walk home instead of driving. As they are making their way home, the realize that they have to pee really badly, so they stop off in the cemetery to pee. They grope around in their purses for a tissue or anything else they can use for TP and they find nothing, so they decide to use their panties. They squat down and pee, use their panties to wipe and then discard them in a garbage can in the cemetery. The next morning Sue's husband calls Janet's husband and says, "Do you have any idea what the girls were up to last night? I'm really worried, Sue came home without any panties on!" Janet's husband says "You think that's bad, not only did Janet come home with no panties on, she also had a ribbon stuck to her a$$ that said....from all the boys at the firehouse, thanks for the memories!"
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
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