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Just remember all the traffic you have to sit in to get to the shore! Cars overheating, everything backed up, getting to the beach and driving around another two hours to find a parking spot.
We've been contemplating the move to NC for so long now. It's me that has been hesitant because of my family.
Your post really hits so many truths. A lot of times I'll read posts from people who just moved to a new area, and they go on about how wonderful and perfect it is. I always wonder how it goes for them when that "newness" you referred to wears off. Great post!
I am not from NJ, I live in NY Brooklyn to be exact but this post caught my eye. We too are looking to leave and go to NC. This post hit me in the heart but only because I will miss my family and my friends. However with this said, I won't miss everything else about Brooklyn, the dog **** on sidewalks, alternate side parking, no one speaking English anymore, every job posted in the area paper saying russian speakining preferred, the disgusting High Schools that we are "zoned" for. Also homes here are untouchable, how crazy it is to pay over 500thousand dollars for a home with no land and no pool. IS IT ME??? If all my friends and my folks moved with me I would never look back or miss anything about this place, and that's sad since I have been here forever. But I can understand the part of missing people because that is what is going to make me sad, probably for a long time. But as a mom I have to do what is best for my kids and this isn't it!!
Location: Some got six month some got one solid. But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer16
Brian, I got teary reading your post.
Just remember all the traffic you have to sit in to get to the shore! Cars overheating, everything backed up, getting to the beach and driving around another two hours to find a parking spot.
We've been contemplating the move to NC for so long now. It's me that has been hesitant because of my family.
Your post really hits so many truths. A lot of times I'll read posts from people who just moved to a new area, and they go on about how wonderful and perfect it is. I always wonder how it goes for them when that "newness" you referred to wears off. Great post!
I almost miss that backup to get across the river to get into Point Pleasant or leaving early to get to Seaside in order to avoid the traffic on 37.
Don't get me wrong, it is wonderful here. I can't stress it enough that this is just my experience, your mileage may vary. Concord is more or less a city and many people down here are from the northeast (the people who live downstairs and over from me are from Edison). It's one of the more "northernized" areas of North Carolina. Go to Concord Mills Mall and you're almost guaranteed to see New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania plates in the parking lot every time you go. It's one of the spots that gives you every opportunity to ease yourself into a new area because the chances of running into someone who lived in your old state are so good, at the same time giving you that dash of country. For anyone from the northeast considering the move, the best advice I could give is to move to the more city-like areas to lessen the culture shock.
There's a lot I was convinced I would be happy to get away from...the over development, the congestion, the higher cost of living. So many people have this impression that North Carolina is a sort of promised land that magically makes all of your problems go away (one can only imagine how much longer it'll be before North Carolina turns into NY/NJ south in terms of congestion, development and cost). There's no doubt we can afford a really nice house here, a decent amount of land in a nicer area. Still, at least for me, there something to be said for how you feel when you leave every single thing you've ever known behind and when that realization inevitably sets in. This ain't "it's almost the end of the vacation trip and I'm getting a bit homesick". I've read articles where it's considered a sort of traumatic experience and by my experience I believe it. It obviously works for many but it doesn't work for all. Finding out the hard way is, pardon the expression, a real b***h. For all of the smiling faces and friendly people you would think it would be really easy to adapt.
You'll have no idea how much you took for granted once it's no longer at arm's length.
Family and long time friends are irreplaceable. To say it's painful to be far away is an understatement. Some places you wish you could go back to and some places can be like the book you've been putting on hold or the DVD that you haven't yet watched: it's just nice to know it's there whenever you want. You can find new friends, develop new routines and even duplicate the older ones (and trust me that helps a LOT), but as it goes, and tap your heels together, "there's no place like home".
I think it mostly has to do with how well people can adapt and how much we get used to the known. My husband and I always comment on how most people in this country seem to grow up and end up living in the same state (even city/town) they grew up in and we always wonder why this is the case. I think most of it has to do with familiarity and adaptation. I didn't grow up here and my close knit family is in different locations. There are a number of states and countries I can see myself living in and some I can't (due to weather and other social factors). I think if we just try to adapt more and stop thinking about what we miss in where we left, we'd end up just fine.
I'd sure like to add my buck fifty into this. If it's too long I apologize in advance, I just feel the need to chime in on this one. This would apply to anyone but since we moved from New Jersey to Concord I'll just go by what I've gone through.
Before anyone makes any long distance moves out of state or out of region, I can't stress enough how long and hard this should be considered. By my experience the first two or three weeks are the weeks where you're in what I'd like to call "exploratory mode". Everything is new and you're still looking around in wonder at the place you now call home. It's like a vacation in a sense and all the while you're also comparing what you've got now to what you had ("oh wow..they have this store too"). That's the easy part. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you for what it's like when you actually get down to just living. When it hits you just exactly how far you are away from family, friends and places. When the newness wears off and the whole, "wow, this is now home" comes into play, everything that seemed small and trivial takes on such great importance. The corner bar takes on a huge significance. The magical, almost mythical Jersey shore takes on a Disneyland-like status. The short trips to New York that you may have taken by bus, car or train that now need a plane ticket or an eleven hour car drive and you wish you could've done them more often. The Starbucks you may have been visiting because you liked the atmosphere and the one girl who would make your caramel macchiato just right. Going to a sporting event to cheer for your favorite team. It may all sound insanely trivial but it's a matter of leaving behind the comforts of the familiar and what you loved more than you thought you did.
Forget family and friends. You can have your spouse and kids with you, you can make new friends. There's no replacing the family and long time friends you leave behind. My sister emailed me a set of pictures of the Polar Bears at Seaside Heights. She took her son, my nephew, with her and snapped all of these shots. How I wish I could've gone just to be with everyone. When you factor time, travel, and expense it's not as easy as saying, "Well I'll just go back up every chance I get". It sounds good when you say it but real world at times will dictate otherwise.
Honestly I'm tired of going through the daily fits of anxiety and depression that don't seem to get any better. If it keeps up I have to think at some point that relocating just isn't for me.
North Carolina is as beautiful as you've probably heard, most likely moreso. The sunsets here are beautiful, after the give and take it is cheaper to live here (with housing it's a LOT cheaper). The people are more relaxed and friendlier. For a lot of people relocating works and I've had enough people say that what we're going through is normal. It may very well be and for those of you who were able to adapt, who got through the hard times and wound up calling NC home, I raise my glass to you. I'm not about to talk myself into wanting to call it home because so many others were able to. However deserving or undeserving of the bashing it takes, New Jersey was my home, I still consider it home and contains all of the people and places that shaped me to who I am today. That's a very difficult thing to leave behind and even harder to leave for good.
If I were to leave here tomorrow I'd be heartbroken because North Carolina truly is a wonderful place. It's that beautiful down here. However I'd cry tears of joy if I saw the sign "New Jersey Welcomes You" with my stuff packed in the back of a Uhaul all the same.
Hey Brian,
Sounds alot like me. I was born and raised and lived my whole life in Monmouth County and loved going to the Boardwalks among other Jersey things. I used to ride my bike around all the towns and knew all the back roads to every whichway. I was used to patronizing all the favorite places to eat with my wife when we would go out for dinner. Loved walking around Red Bank down by the River.
So anyways, we sold the house in Eatontown for twice what we payed for it originally and came to Texas. In DFW land we have a brand new house that we'll never have a mortage on cause we payed cash. The weather is alot sunnier then Jersey. The soil in N.J. is something I really miss. Is that weird? Back home anything you planted grew like crazy because it was all rich brown moist soil. Here in Texas do you know what the soil is? Its clay!!! Hard, red brick like and unmercifull. You can't dig down into it you'll break your shovel. I also spend alot of time on the net looking at the Jersey papers namely the Asbury Park Press.
We moved from NoNJ to NC/SC in July 2006. It was tough - we LOVED everything about NoNJ, but we just couldn't afford to stay there. That is the ONLY reason we left.
However, I don't regret our decision to move. I love our new town (Fort Mill, SC just outside Charlotte, NC), my job is amazing, my commute is a fraction of what it used to be, and my kids are thriving. We found a new church home, and we're slowly meeting people and getting involved. My husband is going through a withdrawal right now since he's a born-bred Brooklyn guy used to having just about everything at his disposal. But he's adjusting and knows the area better than me at this point!
We moved from NoNJ to NC/SC in July 2006. It was tough - we LOVED everything about NoNJ, but we just couldn't afford to stay there. That is the ONLY reason we left.
However, I don't regret our decision to move. I love our new town (Fort Mill, SC just outside Charlotte, NC), my job is amazing, my commute is a fraction of what it used to be, and my kids are thriving. We found a new church home, and we're slowly meeting people and getting involved. My husband is going through a withdrawal right now since he's a born-bred Brooklyn guy used to having just about everything at his disposal. But he's adjusting and knows the area better than me at this point!
Can I ask what you do? I'd like an amazing job too! Really.
Brian- I feel for you, and the others in your position. I live in a nice NJ town and love it. A few years ago we moved to Western NJ (Pa border), to get a larger house for less. I HATED IT! I felt like a baby, but I missed my friends, the type of people I was used to, and my daily routines and conveniences. It was stressful. After 2 years we moved back to the original town, and I swore I would never leave. I love it here.
Now (gulp) we are relocating to Washington, DC, (with my husband's job), while I think this will be a much easier transition than NC- my stomach is in knots. I feel the same as you- NJ is my home, I want it to be my children's home. I imagined them growing up here. My family is here. I hate to go through that anxiety all over again, and reading all of the posts is not helping...
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An amazing job?
