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Today we received a message on our answering machine from St. Joe's that there had been a car accident involving my grandmother and we needed to call them. Upon doing so, we were told my grandmother had been killed in a crash near Valley Road in Paterson this afternoon
As you can imagine... devastation set in. They didn't have any other info for us other than that. All we knew was that we had to deliver this catastrophic news to my stepfather (her son) who was shortly returning home from an afternoon of golf. This was particularly hard for us all, as his father too was killed in an automobile accident 20+ years ago.
Needless to say, it was painful. We all began mourning and planning.
Then over an hour later, we got another disturbing phone call, from the son of the woman who DID die: the sister~in~law of my grandmother. Through a conversation and turn of events that I could have only ever expected to take place in a MOVIE, the facts started to come out. The hospital mixed up the 2 women. Both women were involved in the crash, and though my grandmother was badly injured, she is in fact alive and expected to recover.
I can not even begin to express how much pain St. Joe's caused my family today. We are still trying to sort out how and why this error was made, not to mention we are having a hard time learning details about the crash itself.
I don't even know why I am posting this... to vent, to encourage you all to hold your loved ones a little closer tonight.... but I felt the need to put all this frustrated energy I had into something semi~productive.
Did you watch Oprah today? There was a girl who was misidentified, and the parents had a funeral for her. They didn't find out for 5 weeks. And the parents of the girl who HAD died, thought for 5 weeks that their daughter was alive.
Did you watch Oprah today? There was a girl who was misidentified, and the parents had a funeral for her. They didn't find out for 5 weeks. And the parents of the girl who HAD died, thought for 5 weeks that their daughter was alive.
No I didn't see that... but my heart surely goes out to them.....
How did their daughter die? Did they never have to ID the body? Or was she burned or something....? =(
My stepfather was waiting for his sister to arrive from Manalapan before going to ID my grandmother, where I imagine the mistake would have been discovered had it not been for the phone call....
How did their daughter die? Did they never have to ID the body? Or was she burned or something....? =(
It's an unbelievable sorry!
The two girls involved in the confusion covered on Oprah today were friends, and both were blondes of similar build. They were involved in a traffic accident in which five people died -- including one of the two girls.
Both girls were very severely injured -- making a visual identification nearly impossible. The medical examiner made the initial determination -- and incorrectly identified the dead friend.
When her family was notified, they were told that the identification was absolute -- no reason to view the body. None of the family members wanted to see the girl in so injured a state, wanting to remember her as she was -- quite beautiful. So they passed on identifying the body.
Meanwhile the family of the girl who actually was dead, kept a vigil at the bedside of the girl they thought was their daughter -- 24/7 for more than 5 weeks. The girl was also very badly injured and in a coma.
It wasn't until the girl awoke from her coma and slowly began regaining her memory that they determined she was not whom she had been identified as.
Of course, the family who had been at her beside was completely traumatized to learn that their daughter was in a mismarked grave. And the family who thought they had lost a daughter and buried her suffered a different trauma when they discovered they had not been at their daughter's bedside through her recovery.
Amazingly, both families have become very dear friends, and nobody sued anybody. They've co-written a book about the experience -- which is why they were on Oprah -- the episode was repeated today
My Nana has a broken back & broken ribs.... she is probably going to need surgery & definitely rehab, which will be a lot for her since she is over 80 years old, but we are very glad she is alive. Thank you for the sentiment.
Now that I hear the details, I believe I remember reading about that story about the blonde girls in People magazine not too long ago. Truly amazing!
That's some crazyness. Seems like that could have easily been prevented by simply looking at an ID card in your grandmother's purse or asking the son first.
...I don't even know why I am posting this... to vent, to encourage you all to hold your loved ones a little closer tonight.... but I felt the need to put all this frustrated energy I had into something semi~productive.
I can empathize with your distress. It's a terrible emotional time to go through.
Though in her late 80's at the time, my grandmother died unexpectedly on March 8, 1985... her pre-deceased husband's birthday. She'd told me at Christmas time that she didn't want people to wait for her funeral to send her flowers because what good were they to her then? She wanted to enjoy flowers while she was living! So that winter, I sent her flowers and a potted plant. She enjoyed them for a month or two before she died, and the last time I saw her was a very special time for us since at least one the younger generation took notice of what she'd said. Amazingly, nearly a quarter-century later, I still remember this.
What good can you take from this terrible misunderstanding about your grandmother? Remember that life is fragile. Every new day that grandma has is a gift from God.
Make your grandmother's homecoming really, really, special. Throw a party celebrating her life. Your entire family has a renewed chance to make the most of it with her!
Today we received a message on our answering machine from St. Joe's that there had been a car accident involving my grandmother and we needed to call them. Upon doing so, we were told my grandmother had been killed in a crash near Valley Road in Paterson this afternoon
As you can imagine... devastation set in. They didn't have any other info for us other than that. All we knew was that we had to deliver this catastrophic news to my stepfather (her son) who was shortly returning home from an afternoon of golf. This was particularly hard for us all, as his father too was killed in an automobile accident 20+ years ago.
Needless to say, it was painful. We all began mourning and planning.
Then over an hour later, we got another disturbing phone call, from the son of the woman who DID die: the sister~in~law of my grandmother. Through a conversation and turn of events that I could have only ever expected to take place in a MOVIE, the facts started to come out. The hospital mixed up the 2 women. Both women were involved in the crash, and though my grandmother was badly injured, she is in fact alive and expected to recover.
I can not even begin to express how much pain St. Joe's caused my family today. We are still trying to sort out how and why this error was made, not to mention we are having a hard time learning details about the crash itself.
I don't even know why I am posting this... to vent, to encourage you all to hold your loved ones a little closer tonight.... but I felt the need to put all this frustrated energy I had into something semi~productive.
Oh good Lord, I read about this accident in the newspaper this morning--both women have the same last name but it said they weren't sure if they were related or not.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. My thoughts are with you. All I can say is that lately, in dealing with less life-changing situations than yours (a move of residence specifically) it's become apparent to me how many people JUST DO NOT DO THEIR JOB. I'm talking about banks, DMV, the cable provider--constant mix-ups, constant errors...it's appalling.
I wish your grandmother a full and speedy recovery.
I can't believe I'm reading this. Two years ago I was having an ongoing problem with Newark Beth Israel's ICU calling me at all hours of the night. Because it was the middle of the night, and I wasn't answering fast enough, so the call was going to voicemail. They were leaving a message for me to call them about "Somebody."
This went on for over a week, I was getting woken up every night. When I would call back they could never put the person who had called me on the phone, and were ususally very rude. It was ridiculous. Sometimes they left very specific medical information about their patient on my voice mail.
Finally I faxed a letter to the administrator of the hospital telling them that the phone calls were harrassing at this point, I didn't know that person, and the calls needed to cease immediately or I'd be filing a HIPAA complaint because of the information they were giving me.
It was ridiculous that I had to go to that extreme, and at the same time heartbreaking that this person was probably very ill and the staff wouldn't take one second to comprehend that they were dialing a wrong number and maybe they should try a different contact.
That's some crazyness. Seems like that could have easily been prevented by simply looking at an ID card in your grandmother's purse or asking the son first.
Not to make an excuse for the hospital, but in accidents people frequently become removed from their ID. In addition, the focus at the accident scene is on treating their most serious injuries to stabilize them enough to be moved where they can get more comprehensive care. Unfortunately, identifying the individuals can't always be top priority -- particularly in cases where the accident victims cannot identify themselves to the rescuers.
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Every new day is a gift from God - celebrate!
