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Well, I'm from the old school so in my opinion, a wife needs to go where her husband feels would better the family or couple, whatever the case may be. It sounds like you're doing your research and will make the right decision. I may have missed it, but where do you now reside? I just looked at your other posts, so I'm assuming it's Connecticut.
So for what it's worth, it's really your decision and hopefully, she will agree to it in due course.
Yikes! Dont move anywhere where your wife doesnt think she'll like. Especially if you have kids! Its a family decision b/c the FAMILY has to live with it. We left NM a short time ago to move to Raleigh and myself and the kids HATE it. My hubby is OK with it, he likes his job well enough but the schools are terrible and theres no opportunities in my field. To be brief, we are coming home to NM! My husband would never dream of expecting us to stay in a place where the family as a whole is unhappy!
As someone who lived in New Jersey for my first 38 years, (and have been to Connecticut frequently) I can relate to your wife's trepidation. We moved here almost three years ago, and on our first visit here, we were aghast over the amount of visible poverty we saw, everywhere we went. That's considerably different than what we were used to living in suburban New Jersey. Like Connecticut, you can conduct your day-to-day work-live-play lifecycle without the reminders of poverty, unless you made the foray into places such as downtown Bridgeport, New Haven, Hartford, etc. This was something that I took for granted living my entire life on the East Coast. If you can get over this initial shock, however, you can begin to assimilate especially if you make friends quickly. And that is easier to do here. My wife had that same initial fear moving here, and after three years, that has evaporated. She would never move back to the East Coast now. She has friends, and has adapted to the stark differences in weather, as well as terrain. Incidentally, she is a dental hygienist. Her difference in pay scale here is minor (she was at $38 an hour in NJ, and she is $34 an hour here), however, she has also indicated to me that the difference in dental assistant salaries here vs NJ are more disparate. For instance, an assistant with 5 years experience here, working in her office is making $16 an hour, which is really low. If your wife went to school to be a dental hygienist, she could be out in 2 years, and be making a comfortable salary.
Well, I'm from the old school so in my opinion, a wife needs to go where her husband feels would better the family or couple, whatever the case may be.
As someone who lived in New Jersey for my first 38 years, (and have been to Connecticut frequently) I can relate to your wife's trepidation. We moved here almost three years ago, and on our first visit here, we were aghast over the amount of visible poverty we saw, everywhere we went.
I'd have to agree that this is a common impression. It really hit me once during my wandering days when I'd spent the early spring in NM then drove to IL in one day. I was shocked by the contrast of greenery, manicured lawns, and well kept properties even in the lower-middle-class neighborhoods. A lot of NM looks like old Mexico. It does have more poverty than many states, plus something about the desert makes it look more obvious.
It's hard to say for sure, but most likely your wife will appreciate the benefits of living here after she has been here awhile (like climate for one). Initially it looks like she is focusing on what is missing and ignoring what is better. It isn't surprising that she is reluctant to move... that is a big deal for anybody. My advice would be to be gentle with her and involve her in researching the area, take some more trips out, etc.
Sounds like what you both could agree on is that Santa Fe is beautiful: why don't you start in Santa Fe, explore the areas & culture within and around there, and see if it feels good to you both? At that point you can explore housing, but before doing that spend some time getting comfortable with the area. It is a BIG move - NM is different culturally and socially. Some people - including your wife - just may not like it - in which case just come here on vacation!
Let me know if you want more information on SF properties.
Oh goodness, I realize it's a family decision but if the reasons aren't valid, such as no shoe stores nearby, the food is lousy, and other things that don't matter, I believe a wife can adjust if she's with the man she married. She thought there is too much crime. That's a valid reason in my opinion and as I stated, the husband was checking into things well. If the crime were bad, I'm sure he wouldn't decide to live there. She said it was dirty. Every place is dirty some place so whether that's a valid reason, I'm not sure.
Well, I'm from the old school so in my opinion, a wife needs to go where her husband feels would better the family or couple, whatever the case may be. It sounds like you're doing your research and will make the right decision. I may have missed it, but where do you now reside? I just looked at your other posts, so I'm assuming it's Connecticut.
So for what it's worth, it's really your decision and hopefully, she will agree to it in due course.
As Dr. Phil would say, "how is that working out for you?"
If you guys visited LATE in the year, when it was dead, dry, and dusty out I urge you to return in the spring/summer. NM is MOSTLY Spring/Summer and the city is nicer looking IMO during that time of the year. Either way, NM is one of those states that you either love it or you hate it. It's not for everyone. I'm from Alaska and this place suits me and the independent soul. I enjoy the diversity, the run down adobe's, the long stretches of land, the old souls who live here. I moved from a state where you won't like it unless you like the outdoors, I think NM is the same way. Most of the people I meet who say they don't like it here, have never been past the last stop light in town, they have NO IDEA what makes New Mexico, New Mexico. Just my humble opinion.
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Wow. I guess I have to counter with:
