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I think with two kids and that sort of household income you're undoubtedly better off staying in NC...lifestyle will be much better. You can always go vacation for a week in NY to get it out of your system. Unfortunately your wants and desires take a back seat to 3 other people at this point.
The answer quoted below is the best answer. Visit often. But don't move.
Both of you are in jobs that aren't high in demand (anymore). If not for that, I'd say, go. But it's a bad time to increase your expenses.
What is best for your kids? Go with that. And don't buy into the "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." You should be happy if your kids are happy.
They'll be out of the house before you know it (trust me), and then you can do what you want.
As for living in NC, try harder to bloom where you're planted. I've lived it (NY to NC), and I know it's very, very difficult. But it can be done. Try Meetup.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer
I think with two kids and that sort of household income you're undoubtedly better off staying in NC...lifestyle will be much better. You can always go vacation for a week in NY to get it out of your system. Unfortunately your wants and desires take a back seat to 3 other people at this point.
I am liking all the different opinions on the board. For those who feel that 'lifestyle' will be better in NC than NYC why do you say so? I know about Rent, but hopefully my brother will be moving out of the old apartment in Harlem I used to live in and I could possibly take over there for $900 a month. or my Auntie will be moving downsouth and she has a condo in the Bronx that she might let me rent out. But even if those opportunities weren't available when ready to move, we should still be able to survive with a combined income of 80k right. I know NY got outrageous since I have been gone but it can't be that bad. I am not trying to be 'Sex in the City'. Opportunities in NY are so much better than here.
I have considered DC area but so far no jobs. He has been applying there and Maryland. I will start applying this summer. Fingers crossed. The only thing about DC is the govt and getting security clearances there.
The bottom line is do what makes you happy. (I know, this is different than what I said, but it's true.)
If you and your husband can find jobs, a place to live that you can afford and feel comfortable in, and your kids can go to a good school and have friends, go for it!
There IS a whole lot more to do in the NYC area, and if you have friends and relatives there, and your husband is up for the adventure, then you'll probably be happy you made the move.
His family only helps out sometimes and it is with money if need be. His family barely comes to see us, we always have to go to see them(his mother, father, sister, cousins). My mother comes to NC more often than his family does.
I know his family will think I am selfish, but hey. I remember his mother saying if he moves past Virginia then she will not help him out etc...
So you can barely afford to live in North Carolina, and want to uproot your family to NYC, which is far and away the most expensive place to live in the United States?
I am liking all the different opinions on the board. For those who feel that 'lifestyle' will be better in NC than NYC why do you say so? I know about Rent, but hopefully my brother will be moving out of the old apartment in Harlem I used to live in and I could possibly take over there for $900 a month. or my Auntie will be moving downsouth and she has a condo in the Bronx that she might let me rent out. But even if those opportunities weren't available when ready to move, we should still be able to survive with a combined income of 80k right. I know NY got outrageous since I have been gone but it can't be that bad. I am not trying to be 'Sex in the City'. Opportunities in NY are so much better than here.
Sure, if you really want to try raising your kids in Harlem or the Bronx...since you're from NY I don't see why anyone should need to explain the "lifestyle" part, but I suppose since you've not lived there in a long time, or perhaps were never old enough when you did to appreciate all of the real-world challenges and concerns of day to day living, certain points should be stressed. It's a tough place to exist in countless ways compared to some easy going suburb in the Carolinas where basically everything you need is cheap, you can pack your kids into the car and drive and park pretty much anywhere without hassles of public transportation or expensive cab rides, and the public schools are typically adequate to pretty good, to the point where really only the wackos consider shelling out big bucks to send their kids private schools. $80k/yr can buy a pretty nice little life in that sort of environment...nice house with back yard and garage, a couple decent cars to make getting around a breeze, money to save or invest, and plenty of the extras that middle class affluence allows. A family of 4 I'm sure could *survive* in NY on that amount of money, but there would be some hell to pay in terms of lifestyle. You'd find not nearly as much money left over at the end of the month to actually go enjoy life a little. Without the kids it's a different story of course.
Right, I moved from NY when I was 23 without kids, so I meant the lifestyle with kids. Yes I can buy a nice house out here that is true, but its boring and cultureless, so tired of driving everywhere. I actually like walking. But yes, the thought of struggling on public transportation with kids is there. That is why maybe Queens could be good. But good points.
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(I know, this is different than what I said, but it's true.)
