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Old 05-13-2012, 03:27 PM
 
16 posts, read 25,114 times
Reputation: 15

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It's a complicated situation, one I don't fully understand myself. Officially my dad is our guardian. Some of my siblings go stay with him from time to time but never for any long periods. They have full choice over where they go/who they stay with. I pay the rent for our flat to an old friend of my dads. My brother isn't a child and wasn't a child when he had a brain injury. I didn't see him really during that period of time as I was staying with my grandparents although not officially. They all lived with my mum and dad execpt me, one sister and one brother who stayed with my grandparents although on paper we still stayed at my dads. My grandparents are both dead as is my mum. I have my reasons for wanting nothing to do with my dad and they go back a while. At times my dad is a decent parent, he has a decent income and a decent house. It is to a degree my choice to take care of my siblings, it's not a case of wanting to though, it's more a case of not trusting my dad and being unable to see an alternative.
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:36 PM
 
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,297 posts, read 14,164,711 times
Reputation: 8105
The alternative is to call the cops and turn him in.
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Old 05-13-2012, 05:18 PM
 
38 posts, read 60,003 times
Reputation: 107
Look, I'm a Brit living in the US and agree with the previous poster who said that the US is not going to happen, immigration wise. I admire your moxie, but it's a tough road. The US is not forgiving of failure and with that many dependents, you need to be in a country with a stronger social safety net than America. No one has even mentioned the fact that none of you could ever afford college in America.

HOWEVER

Firstly, I think you have many more options in the UK than you think. As a born and bred Northerner, I don't understand why you think London is your only UK option! What about Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham, Newcastle, Leeds, Loughborough, Leicester etc? There are tons of cheaper cities in the UK than London in which you could have a higher standard of living. You pay 470 quid a month? You could easily get a nice 3 bedroom in Liverpool for that. You could probably even get it in Scotland in another area.

Secondly, like I said, I'm a born and bred Northerner and I get the (somewhat class based) opposition to intervention from the "social" or whatever, but you need to speak to someone (a children's charity, social worker etc) about what is going on with your family. You are probably entitled to more benefits and things and I know it's tough, but you need to make sure you have access to them.

Lastly, I know this is tough but I think you should look a bit harder at local moves. You rent a crappy apt from your dad's friend for which you are overpaying.

Glasgow | Flats & Houses for Rent | Gumtree.com

I know the fantasy. Everything is really tough "back home" and so you want to move away and get a fresh start in somewhere amazing. I can't judge you - I moved to the US. But with your siblings, you really need to do the much tougher thing and work out how to improve your life where you are now. If they go back and forth from your dad's house then you will need that support. A lot of your social benefits are coming through local and regional offices and getting them changed is probably a bit of a pain (esp Scotland to England). I'm guessing you have a social worker and case notes and stuff. I bet if you looked hard you could find a nicer better place to live, some good local courses to qualify as a nurse and if you work really hard, a better job. Same for your brothers and sisters.
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Old 05-17-2012, 03:23 PM
 
16 posts, read 25,114 times
Reputation: 15
Cheers for your advice, I'm really grateful. The main attraction I guess was the ability to earn more in the US, plus when you convert pounds to dollars the numbers don't half look nice

I'm already looking to make changes, I've spoken to my old boss and there's a vacancy at my old work for a trainee manager, since I worked there since I left school, she said I met the criteria. I've just finished the application, it's got higher wages so will make things easier even if it's further away from what I want to do. For now it'll allow me to save a small amount so we can find a better flat, in the future it'll allow me to work less hours and study part-time. No guarantee I'll get it but fingers crossed

I've got you guys to thank for a lot of that, I wasn't really thinking straight and was just looking for a way out really when I posted my request for info. It was a wee bit of a low point you could say.

Hey, one day when I'm all rich we'll all come visit New York, you do seem a friendly bunch!

Thanks again
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Old 05-17-2012, 04:34 PM
 
Location: USA
2,112 posts, read 2,596,686 times
Reputation: 1636
Quote:
Originally Posted by nei View Post
I can't imagine US immigration would let a family of 7 in with little in the way of obvious financial support, especially by an 18 year old. They would think they are letting an obvious welfare case.
I agree. For the most part they only let a small amount of family come in at a time, especially if they have no one to sponsor them.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,914 posts, read 31,400,832 times
Reputation: 7137
That's GREAT news that you have some new employment prospects at home that will allow you to continue your studies in the future. As I said before, NYC will be waiting for you, be it a visit, or should you decide to relocate in the future.

Immigration would be hampered for the younger siblings with a living parent, since they are minors, so best to stay put for now, but in a few years, you will have more freedom to decide where you want to live. Best of luck.
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