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I need help! Now, in trying to resolve this matter, I have turned to many of my friends and they have proven to be helpful to varying degrees. Yet, I figured, at this late hour in the decision process, why not turn to such a wonderful community of New Yorkers...
I have lived in the city for ten years now having moved here from Louisiana (I was 30 then). I have a job that I absolutely love and I am paid nearly 80k a year. Yet, years ago when I first moved here, I moved here with the mindset that this NYC experience was to be only temporary and I would return to Louisiana after a couple of years. Well, a couple of years has turned into ten... But due to this "short-term" mindset, I prevented myself from getting close to people because I always knew that it would be short term (at least I thought I knew). So now here I am, only two days from leaving the city and leaving my job for Louisiana...
Why Louisiana (NOLA)?
Well, my family and life-long friends are there... My brother is very sick and my mom just turned 65, so I feel I should be closer. I have secured a job in the same field (education) but will be making about 28k less. More importantly, the new job will not allow me the autonomy and creative control that my current one does, so I fear that I will not be as inspired, will not love the position as much. Also, tonight, I think it struck me for the first time that in addition to loving my job here in NYC, I also have developed a love for the city. Within a few hours, a friend and I had dinner at Shake Shack, chilled at Lincoln Center, stumbled upon A Midsummer's Night Swing just around the bend at LC, then sat under the trees at LC, then finished up with a pint at PJ Clarkes! We did all of this without having to hop in a car...we simply walked. It was beautiful...
As I am up against the day of departure (I haven't purchased a ticket yet but plan to fly out on Thursday), I have serious doubts about leaving the city...serious. On one hand I fear that at 40, I should return home as I have seen so many people come and go in this great city...one that I have always seen as a transient place. In my mind I have created a psychological paradigm wherein 40 is too old to begin to lay roots in the city (sure, I have been here 10 years, but I have never allowed myself to "buy a couch," to settle in and be at home here). It seems odd to grow through my 40s and into my 50s in this city where I have no family and few close friends. Additionally, the whole time, all ten years, I have had roommates. I wonder, sometimes aloud, that I wish I could have experienced the city living in my own apartment, furnished with my own couch establishing my own home. As for my family and friends, every year I spend about 3 months out of the year living with my mom and brother. That seems to be a nice 9 to 3 month ratio (NYC/Louisiana). So here I am...confused. Moving home, yet wondering if in reality I am leaving home...
I can't understand why you would make such a drastic move when you are not at all unhappy with your life here and already have the flexibility to spend a lot of time there but good luck to you.
Seems like a tough decision, but I would say follow your instincts.
The money part seems reasonable since the cost of living in Louisiana is probably way lower.
But like you have said, there will be a drastic changes in terms of potential career development, lifestyle and more importantaly (IMO) the mentally of the people in both places.
The deep south is a world of difference from the north east, especially NYC.
Even though you will be earning less, keep in mind that you probably lose more then half of that thanks to NY city and state taxes, and consider that the cost of living is lower in Louisiana.
It sounds like your heart is in NYC. If that were the case for me, I would choose to stay. But you have a sick family member in Louisiana that effects the decision. Since you're already committed to moving, and just having cold feet, I'd see how things go in Louisiana. Someone else mentioned that you can always come back to NYC if things don't work out, I agree with that.
I have known two close friends who after a LONG time left the City to go "back home." Both lasted less than 4 years and came running back and having to face the AWFUL task of being newbies again...one sold a HUGE beautiful condo for a song when she left and now can only afford a crummy studio rental at the same money.
Both left becasue they were tired of the vagaries of the job market...good money in good times, and layoff at every downturn...it sucks the soul. But both found out that things were not much different in the burbs, only the pay is less.
As Thomas Wolfe so famously titled his novel: YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN. It is SO very true. YOU are not the same you and HOME is not the same home.
One of the friends went back to Western PA in the depths of a funk to be with "my family who loves me." She left PA with the attitude if she EVER never saw her family or the state again it would be too soon.
I too have entertained seeeking the far away burbs for a cheap retirement but then when I think hard on it or GO anywhere I say to myself "I could NEVER love here." And that goes for the place I was born and raised...and I even INHERITED it, so compared to NYC living it would have been practically FREE.
But then I DO have another pair of friends who sold their tiny dump of a home in Berkely Heights at the top of the market for $675,000 and bought a farmhouse and 5 acres in Pennsy for $250,000 cash and are loving the life of country squires in a teeny town that barely makes it to the highest zoom-in of Google Maps. So NYC, and it's suburbs, isn't for everyone.
I recommend you STAY but I am assuming that 2 days is too little time for my recommended change of mind for you so all I can do is offer you Good Luck wishes.
i forget where i heard this from but it's the best advice i've ever heard when you need to make a decision on two things where you need to trust your gut.
Flip a coin. tell yourself that if it lands on heads you'll move to Louisiana, and if it lands on tails you'll stay in NYC. While it's in the air, which ever one you hope it lands on is the choice you make. not what the coin tells you.
Have you already quit your NYC job? If not, I suggest you STAY!!! You currently have the best of both worlds, 9 months and 3 in La. Get a couch and an apt and live life every moment to the fullest! Sorry your brother is ill. Good luck!
New York will always take you back, no matter how many times you abandon it or badmouth it or write it off.
I get horribly fed up with the city every winter. I've left several times. After being back for about a week, it was like I never left. It sounds like you haven't put down any permanent roots anyway, so it's not a big deal.
However, the people who seem to do the best as permanent residents are those who either have an urban addiction (can never imagine being anywhere else for any reason), and/or have their family nearby, and/or have a regular getaway somewhere. Sounds like you'd have a pretty good setup (as someone else mentioned) with a 9/3 in both NY and Louisiana..
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