Need advice! Living with a friend & her boyfriend in a 2BR apt in nyc

[timeofseasons]

Its New York I am sure there are other options out there, just thoroughly search the market. In this case you are better off taking 50/50 knowing the situation and with drama if B gets a job, A & B may do 50/50. Since its New York just compare different options.

[maxx233]

What ceecee said about the solid written agreement is an absolute - NEVER go into something like this without a written agreement that everyone gets copies of. It should include more than just monetary issues too, it needs to include chores, privacy expectations, or any other weird items you all come up with based on your relationship. If you guys aren't able to sit down and hash out an agreement on paper before there are any problems (and there almost certainly will be problems) then it'll never work when the storm hits. Couples have their advantages and disadvantages to live with in my opinion. I'm married now, and have lived with couples while single too. It can work fine and even be good for all parties - but what you really need to keep in mind is that you shouldn't be granting each other any huge favors, the closest you can get to it being a business deal the better IMO. You're all human beings that will be using the conveniences that utilities provide - that should be an equal split 33-each in my opinion. The fact that one person *may* be gone sometimes doesn't change that. Nor does it factor into the rent unless the agreement is that she *will* be gone on days you'll know of in advance - that way you have something worthwhile (enjoying the apartment to yourself) that you can count on with certainty, since you're essentially paying for it by agreeing to lower their portion of the rent and thereby increase yours. Also, there's another good point - you need to determine who this agreement is with. Is it with A, who is responsible for B? Or is it one agreement with A+B? In other words, if they split up and he moves out - is she still going to continue paying the same amount of rent and retain rights to keep a random future boyfriend in the apartment or are you going to suddenly be expected to pay another several hundred $$$ a month (which you may not have since you weren't planning on them breaking up) because of no action or choice of your own when it goes to an equal 50/50 split?

[seikenkeiai]

Originally Posted by maxx233

You're all human beings that will be using the conveniences that utilities provide - that should be an equal split 33-each in my opinion. The fact that one person *may* be gone sometimes doesn't change that. Nor does it factor into the rent unless the agreement is that she *will* be gone on days you'll know of in advance - that way you have something worthwhile (enjoying the apartment to yourself) that you can count on with certainty, since you're essentially paying for it by agreeing to lower their portion of the rent and thereby increase yours. Also, there's another good point - you need to determine who this agreement is with. Is it with A, who is responsible for B? Or is it one agreement with A+B? In other words, if they split up and he moves out - is she still going to continue paying the same amount of rent and retain rights to keep a random future boyfriend in the apartment or are you going to suddenly be expected to pay another several hundred $$$ a month (which you may not have since you weren't planning on them breaking up) because of no action or choice of your own when it goes to an equal 50/50 split?

Interesting, thank you maxx. However, "may be gone" might be stretching it. Although I might not know
for SURE when she will be gone, I do know that her job requires extensive travel.

I think the difference between a fixed cost (rent) and a variable cost (util) is that util is based on usage. So yes, the fixed cost (rent) should not have anything to do with her "may"-be-gone-sometimes situation but having each individual have a split for util according to usage would be the most fair IMO.

To be completely honest, she will be home maybe 20 days out of the month,
So if it was just me and her, it would have been a 60/40 split with me paying 60%.
(# of days using utilities = A spends 20 days/mon + I spend 30 days/month = 50)
(Split = 20/50 + 30/50)
(40% = Her split ... 60% = my split)

No, if B moves out, it will strictly be a 50/50 split on rent and usage split on util, yes.
GOD this is confusing haha ... not as easy I thought previously .. .
If I wasn't good friends with them, this would all be a total waste of labor on my part, yeah?

[StaggerLee22]

Friends and money don't mix.
You'll loose both.

Happens all the time.
If you value either of the two then...

Keep Em Separated!!

[Henna]

Many utilities are a fixed cost, or nearly a fixed cost. I know that when I've been gone for an entire month, I still have a gas bill to pay that brings gas to the stove, my internet bill (same cost whether I'm there or not) and electric bill, which, while slightly lower than when I'm staying in the apartment, is still a significant bill when I'm not staying there.

You have to understand that having the electricity on means that your refrigerator is powered up, etc., and unless you unplug everything from the wall, there is still electricity being consumed when you're gone.

IMO, utilities should be split 3 ways, with no consideration whether one person is there a lot or not.

[EmeraldNYC]

There was a recent instance where a friend of mine wanted to get an apartment with me and my fiance. She also was with someone and wanted them to move in as well. Since the apartment was to be in my fiances name because he had the best job and credit, we thought we should create an agreement which would be signed by both parties. We explained to her that her boyfriend would have to look for and acquire employment and pay his portion along with his girlfriends when he found a job. They first refused to sign the document, stating that it was unfair and my friend also said her boyfriend does not need to seek employment because she will be paying the bills for both of them. Now i had a real problem with him just lounging around the house all day while everyone else worked and he had no desire to work anyway. It did not work out and we no longer speak.

I know this is your friend but be very careful of living situations. Nothing ever goes as planned and when money is involved everyone starts to feel awkward discussing finances such as percentages of bills and especially rent. For example, if you stood home more often and had an AC for the summer, your friend could argue that you should pay more of the electric than she, etc. it can work out though, I have heard success stories of friends and boyfriends living together in peace, but to be honest it isn't too often.

[Kefir King]

The 60-40 split is not unreasonable.
But here a method that is a bit more precise.

Measure the square footage of all the common rooms. Measure the square footage of each bedroom.

Example:
So you have something like 500 square feet common and 150 for each bedroom for a total of 800 square feet.

Caclulate the charge for the common area <(rent x 5/8) /3 for each person> and add the bedroom breakdown for each of you:
(rent x 150/800) for you.

and for each of them: (rent x 5/8) /3 + (rent x 75/800) for each of them.

Obviousy if boyfriend cannot pay his share then she must pay double. Do not let him get a free ride....that's what his parents are for.


Obviously some accomodation must be made for a shared bedroom or a small bedroom BUT everyone should pay the same amount for all the common areas...living room, kitchen, bath, dining room, etc.

[silverbullnyc]

Get yourself a bf or gf and convince your friend and bf that bills/rent will be lower this way lol