Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I haven't found Manhattanites to be any more/less friendly than folks from anywhere else in this country. That could be because I am always friendly. I start conversations. Yup, looks like the cashier is having a rough day, I commiserate with him/her. The customer in front of me was really rude or obnoxious; apologize to the customer service rep for having had to listen to it or compliment him/her for how it was handled - instant friend. Next time I go, I'm treated like a special customer. I've struck up conversations with folks on the subway, standing in a ticket line, you name it. I noticed an elderly man with what appeared to be Parkinsons trying to cross a busy street - everyone in the crowd had pushed past him and he was the last as the light changed - so I ran into the street and blocked traffic while helping him, 3 others came to help. New Yorkers can be friendly and helpful, often are.
And there are just as many nasty, vile, arrogant folks too. It's no different in the south except that there's more physical space for fewer people. Personal space is at a premium in NYC, so people have a larger "do not enter zone" around them. It isn't necessary in the south. Each take time to adjust.
You've been a big fish in little ponds and getting used to being the guppy in the ocean takes some mental adjusting. If you prefer being the whale in the lake, then NYC is not for you and even an outerborough is not going to help much.
I stay in Manhattan in my upper West Side (70s) Apartment. I am pretty much stuck here because I have a lease and would hate to commute in from the suburbs or Brooklyn or Queens. It is an easy commute to my office in midtown which is a plus. I talk to coworkers who commute in from Westchester (which has lots of trees and grass and huge lawns) but they appear burned out from the long commute.
I love my job but hate living in a dog eat dog culture of NYC.
* Yes, there are a few nice folks in NYC who I can chat with but if you took 1000 people at random here in Manhattan and rated them for niceness and compared them to 1000 people from Athens GA, the Georgia folks would win out 10 fold!
I wonder if there are other people on this board that live in NYC for the great paycheck, corporate office job, power, prestige but hate living in NYC for all the reasons I mention.
Honestly, Midtown to either LIC or the neighborhoods closest to Manhattan in Brooklyn (excluding Williamsburg due to a necessary transfer) aren't a particularly long trip from Midtown than the Upper West Side. My commute from Borough Hall to Grand Central is around 20min, which is perfectly reasonable.
Quite frankly, and I've said this before on other threads regarding the "niceness" of New Yorkers, I think New Yorkers are among the more genuine people in the US. If anything, I dislike Southern hospitality immensely. It's so fake.
I have to agree with one of the comments, this is a "cute" thread- and I don't mean to sound patronizing at all, OP! My cousin came to visit me last summer from North Carolina. SHE HATED NYC! Her sentiments were exactly like what the OP is saying. NYC is not for everyone. It's a big, busy city. It is the city of all cities and some people are just not city folk. My suggestion to the OP is to tough it out for a year, maybe two if you can manage. Perhaps in the second year move to a much quieter suburb in NJ. The reason I say two is so you can get a good two years of work experience under your belt. This, plus the fact that you are coming form one of the big 4 will be a great advantage in the job hunt. Move to a southern city with a new job- you'll probably be happier in Charlotte, Atlanta, Richmond, etc. Also, while you are toughing it out here, it might help to join a meetup.com of people who are southerners living in NYC. It might be helpful to be around others who have a similar experience.
As a side note, my friends husband HATES northern cities. He had to go to MIT for grad school and was literally counting the seconds until he graduated. The minute he was done, they moved to Charlotte. Interestingly enough, I have a friend from the south who moved to NYC after college and LOVES it here. She was transferred to Charlotte for work a few years ago and was absolutely miserable so she quit and moved back to NYC within a year of being transferred to Charlotte. Certain atmospheres just work well for certain people and personalities. NYC is not for you but just make the best of it that you can. Try not to be bitter about the situation and use your experience here to move to another opportunity that is better suited for you.
Quite frankly, and I've said this before on other threads regarding the "niceness" of New Yorkers, I think New Yorkers are among the more genuine people in the US. If anything, I dislike Southern hospitality immensely. It's so fake.
Absolutely. Where as native New Yorkers will break your balls right away and test for weakness constantly but at the end of the day, under the tough exterior, they are some of the most good hearted people I've ever met.
They told me that I was the best student in my High School class and I was rewarded by a full scholarship to collge. In college I excelled and got a 4.0 at the University of GA and a degree in Accounting. Many employers expressed interest in me and eventually I went to work for one of the large BIG 4 Accounting firms. They said they needed me in their huge office in New York City and like a good solider I accepted their offer and took a job in Manhattan in NYC.
I am miserable in New York City!
It is a mess here and most people are so harsh and unfriendly. I miss the southern hostility of Athens GA. I miss small talk with people in public, smiles from grocery clerks, I miss people who like to hunt, fish and camp, I miss yards with big trees and grass.
But what really can't stand about living in New York City is the attitude so many of the people have here. The brashness, the ego, the rudeness and how many people treat anyone outside of their circle like they don't exist. People won't look you in the eye even if they have business with you. There is a feeling of mistrust. I walk the streets and it seems like everyone looks so beaten down and tired. I see it in their eyes. Lots of lonley people. I don't see as many people with their family and everyone is in a hurry. They talk fast and walk fast.
I can understand why. There is over 10 million people here, many with their own agenda and everyone seems to be in their own little clique. Every person breaks down into their own ethic group, social group, economic group, age group, hip factor group, fashion group, etc. Everyone else is invisible.
Back in Athens GA most people came from a similar mind set, spoke English, were long term Americans and were middle class. While we all had our differences in personality, we were enough alike and shared a bond through culture, language and southern hospitality that I had an easy time making friends and chatting with regular folks like me.
Anyone else just overwhelmed by New York and want out?
It's perfectly ok to feel that way. Just find a few nice activities to occupy your time outside of work, put in 2 years at your job, and look for a new job in the South during your second year of work.
Now I'm a bit confused since the west 70s are full of families, and you've got Central Park right there...maybe the city isn't for you. If you do want to make a go of it, you'll have to drop some of your preconceptions. Most New Yorkers ARE "regular folks" and as others have said they are among the friendliest people you'll find anywhere.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
