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I haven't fully come out of the closet yet (only a few close friends know),
Good for you even coming out just a little bit. It can be very difficult even for people in supportive situations--and in situations where many people are not supportive, even more so, of course. How old are you? Coming out at any age is a great achievement, but many things are different at one age than at another.
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but I'm thinking about embracing the "gay life" after moving to NYC.
You should think about what this means first. Does that just mean you plan to be out? Or do you have a very specific image of what it means to be gay and out in your mind? Because there are a lot of stereotypes out there, including many believed by gay men, and you don't need to change yourself to fall into those stereotypes if you don't want to.
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Is it normal for gay guys to flirt in public? Do they give you their numbers if you strike up a conversation and there's a connection?
Definitely, to the extent you know or think someone is gay. That can be hard to tell in NYC sometimes, given that many contexts are socially mixed, and gay stereotypes often don't help as many straight men in NYC are relatively flamboyant and fashionable. But it definitely does happen, though you may have to get used to the awkwardness of accidentally giving straight guys your number sometimes (and they have good humor about it).
Once you're dating/in a relationship, being openly affectionate is simply not an issue.
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Is most of the population open-minded?
Definitely. There are homophobes everywhere, but in NYC they are quite tamed. You may be heckled, but mostly by people no one takes seriously, especially the random crazy person who also heckles, say, every woman and every Asian person who walks past. But it is a rare experience, and the vast majority of people you never really need to "come out" to--you just mention a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend or a husband or something similar in conversation and it passes without an eyelash batted, though you may get the eyeroll-worthy request to go shopping together later.
In my home country, most people are homophobic. I haven't fully come out of the closet yet (only a few close friends know), but I'm thinking about embracing the "gay life" after moving to NYC.
Is it normal for gay guys to flirt in public? Do they give you their numbers if you strike up a conversation and there's a connection? Is most of the population open-minded?
Many if not most people in the U.S. are homophobes so you pick the level on which you want to deal. You can "come out" and fight the good fight or not.
You can have one night stands, affairs, live together, or even marry.
It's up to you.
After 40 years I finally married but I need not put an ad in the TIMES...unless I choose.
Yes, there are still psychopaths in the City who would beat you to death if given the chance to prove to themselves that they are not *****...hmmm, the word rhymes with FEAR.
Last edited by Kefir King; 04-04-2014 at 12:49 PM..
I'm 24.
What I meant by "coming out" was that I'd have no problem saying I'm gay given the situation. Not that after coming out I'll be talking like a girl or introducing myself as "Hello, I'm gay".
For example, it happens that I have a group of male friends who start talking about girls and their bodies, so I feel very uncomfortable during the conversation since I'm not attracted to them. Or someone tries to hook me up with a girl. I want to avoid those kind of things. If they know I'm gay, I feel more comfortable in situations like that and I don't have to lie.
I'm 24.
What I meant by "coming out" was that I'd have no problem saying I'm gay given the situation. Not that after coming out I'll be talking like a girl or introducing myself as "Hello, I'm gay".
For example, it happens that I have a group of male friends who start talking about girls and their bodies, so I feel very uncomfortable during the conversation since I'm not attracted to them. Or someone tries to hook me up with a girl. I want to avoid those kind of things. If they know I'm gay, I feel more comfortable in situations like that and I don't have to lie.
I understand that, but that is when you could say something like, (depending on how you talk, or your phrases you use). You dont have to lie....of course not.
Me, I would say something like, ugh, that dont work for me. that ain't happenin'
um, no, not unless she sprouts a ten inch dikk and a beard....
(I'm a native Brooklynite, what can I say).....besides, every gay man, has an inner black woman.....
they will get it after a while. If someone asks, "are you", then I would say yes....but I just dont get the , "Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you thing", sorry.........................
Yes, generally gay men can be open in public (hold hands, flirt etc) without a problem in *most* parts of the city. There are several neighborhoods that have concentrations of gay bars and businesses such as Chelsea, Greenwich Village, Hell's Kitchen and the East Village.
NYC is largely a very progressive city and its easy to be openly gay here.
One note, there are a few homophobic people on this forum who may try to shame you --but feel free to ignore them. They are in the minority now.
I understand that, but that is when you could say something like, (depending on how you talk, or your phrases you use). You dont have to lie....of course not.
Me, I would say something like, ugh, that dont work for me. that ain't happenin'
um, no, not unless she sprouts a ten inch dikk and a beard....
(I'm a native Brooklynite, what can I say).....besides, every gay man, has an inner black woman.....
they will get it after a while. If someone asks, "are you", then I would say yes....but I just dont get the , "Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you thing", sorry.........................
I'm with Jacks. People know I'm gay and I openly tell them so no one is going to try to hook me up on a date with a girl or there's just certain other things I can avoid by being open.
And just because you personally don't get why someone wants to confession to their parents doesn't mean you should put people down who do it. Perhaps that person wants to control the situation as to how their parents find out about their sexuality. Sometimes when people keep their business to themselves, someone outs them and it shatters their person and professional lives which were based on a lie. Better to be in control of the situation and come clean yourself, where you don't have to worry about exposure.
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