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What's in the nature of being in NY that makes it so easy to discard relationships/friendships or people in general? Is it part of being an American or is it the constant turnover and steady stream of people in NY that makes it so hard to connect and stay connected?
What's in the nature of being in NY that makes it so easy to discard relationships/friendships or people in general? Is it part of being an American or is it the constant turnover and steady stream of people in NY that makes it so hard to connect and stay connected?
Seems to be a problem specific to the Manhattan, below 96th street crowd. I have no problem keeping friendships/relationships. I have friends who I've known since highschool and we still hang out.
Now if you're living down in the city in a nice neighborhood, there are tons of transients there. Manhattan is possibly one of the most transient places in the country, so I think you'd be correct in your assesment there.
This city makes you become very independent. It takes a certain degree of self-sacrifice to make relationships work. A lot of people once they reach a certain degree of independence aren't willing to make those sacrifices in order to make it work.
Seems to be a problem specific to the Manhattan, below 96th street crowd. I have no problem keeping friendships/relationships. I have friends who I've known since highschool and we still hang out.
Now if you're living down in the city in a nice neighborhood, there are tons of transients there. Manhattan is possibly one of the most transient places in the country, so I think you'd be correct in your assesment there.
Ok, assuming you don't have roots in this immediate area. If you're from here, of course your life is gonna be a piece of cake relatively speaking with family and longtime friends in your network of support.
And yes, Mead you are observant thank you, I meant to refer to Manhattan as the demographic area (my fault for generalizing "New York").
My point is after the novelty of being a newcomer here starts to wear off, it can be draining to go through trial and error to find people who are sincere about what they say to you. There is a high rate of forgetting about people not to mention the high failure rate of connecting with people unless you cultivate them at work or at school. And even that can be challenging. I just know the behavior seen here is not typical of most other places around the U.S. - and here goes another one of my "sweeping" remarks but people here in Manhatttan (as compared to elsewhere) just seem to show more insincerity by their lack of action, etc.
Ok, assuming you don't have roots in this immediate area. If you're from here, of course your life is gonna be a piece of cake relatively speaking with family and longtime friends in your network of support.
And yes, Mead you are observant thank you, I meant to refer to Manhattan as the demographic area (my fault for generalizing "New York").
My point is after the novelty of being a newcomer here starts to wear off, it can be draining to go through trial and error to find people who are sincere about what they say to you. There is a high rate of forgetting about people not to mention the high failure rate of connecting with people unless you cultivate them at work or at school. And even that can be challenging. I just know the behavior seen here is not typical of most other places around the U.S. - and here goes another one of my "sweeping" remarks but people here in Manhatttan (as compared to elsewhere) just seem to show more insincerity by their lack of action, etc.
So you have lived elsewhere in the US where you didn't have roots or family, and you found it easier to befriend people whom you did not meet through work or school? Where did you meet them? The gym? The neighborhood? Grocery store?
I think the point of the OP was that the pursuit of wealth status and power can mean more to certain people than anything else and they just don't care about anything else, and a good deal of such people are in ny just as they are elswehere
back in the 80's when i was floundering in college because i was having a lot of emotional problems(eventually i turned myself around, graduated and became independent) and i had a 'friend" who knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life, and got impatient with me and my indecision. during an awful fight we had that led to the end of the friendship he had the nerve to tell me "if you're not planning to go to graduate school you're gonna end up making 'peanuts' for the rest of you life". perhaps this is the kind of mentality the op is talking about. nothing else matters, nothing except that you are in control, in power and are the king.
lord knows i've certainly never been any of those things, and thank god i never married
I recently moved to the area as well and agree with your assessment of the situation. My take on it is that it's because of the high population density. Where there are fewer people around you, forming relationships with each one matters a little more than in a place that is crammed wall to wall with human beings like NYC. The abundance of humanity makes people turn a little more inward than they'd be otherwise.
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